Today, in the age of developed information technologies, popularization social networks and virtual communication, we often have to deal with the inability of people to communicate with each other in real life. Not everyone is able to carry on any conversation or become an interesting and worthy interlocutor; for some, this is very difficult. But not everything is so hopeless. It turns out that this can be learned. So, how to learn to communicate with people?
Communication can be called successful if mutual language found with the interlocutor. Absolutely anyone can have difficulties in communication, and education and wealth do not play a role here inner world, sense of humor, erudition, etc.
It's more of a psychological barrier.
What does it take to make communication interesting and entertaining? How can you create an irresistible desire in your interlocutor to continue? In general, how to become a person with whom it will be interesting to communicate?
How to arouse interest on the part of your interlocutor
Each person is individual. We are all endowed with some qualities that are unique to us. Everyone has their own goals, views on life, principles and priorities. It is absolutely normal for everyone to want to feel some kind of significance in society. It is this desire that is the main key to success and good luck in communication.In order for communication to be called successful, it is enough to show concern for what your interlocutor says. The ability to carry on a conversation, be interested in the thoughts and opinions of your interlocutor, the ability to listen carefully, be sincere and friendly in a conversation, perhaps this is what will help you learn to communicate with people. It is not for nothing that they say that the ability to listen and hear an interlocutor is valued much higher than the ability to speak. Not everyone has the ability to listen, and even fewer people have the ability to hear.
This does not mean that when meeting you need to attack your interlocutor as if he were an old friend. Not everyone will like this, and it may even scare you away.
Be very careful in your judgments; they should not be categorically indisputable. It is better to leave the last word to the interlocutor than to yourself. If you want to make a pleasant impression on your interlocutor, give in to him in an argument: the relationship will not deteriorate, and you will remain unconvinced.
Do not show arrogance in any conversation. When speaking, weigh every word. you must understand that an arrogant tone, a desire to elevate yourself above your opponent can greatly offend him, and then his opinion of you will not be the best, and he is unlikely to have a desire to communicate with you again.
Try never to remain on the sidelines, be closer to people. Each person will be much more pleasant to communicate with someone who is on the same wavelength with him, so hiding in a corner will not be the best solution. 
What you should pay attention to
If possible, avoid conversations that contain complaints about your superiors, work colleagues, work in general, or your fate. Remember that everyone has enough problems without you, so no one wants to listen to other people’s problems. People communicate for fun.An important psychological point in a conversation is the posture in which you and your interlocutor are. It has been proven that by adopting the pose of your interlocutor, you thereby open him up to communication and create comfortable conditions for him.
When speaking, try to always remain yourself. Unnaturalness in communication, the desire to show yourself as a completely different person from the outside can look very funny and ridiculous, although it may seem to you that you fit into this image perfectly. In any case, you won’t be able to play for a long time, and sooner or later people will find out what you really are like. So why splurge and deceive your interlocutor already at the initial stages of communication. Naturalness and ease are the basic rules of behavior in communication.
Often, certain complexes of a person serve as an obstacle to normal communication. It is always worth remembering that no one is perfect. Everyone also has their own pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages, however, this does not prevent them from communicating well and being the life of the party. If you yourself feel good and confident when communicating, those around you will definitely notice and appreciate it.
It is very important to look your interlocutor in the eyes when communicating. A person who averts his eyes to the side during a conversation is unlikely to inspire confidence in his opponent. By doing this, you will either show how uninterested you are in what the other person is saying, or what a dishonest person you are. It seems like nothing special, but still this is a very important moment in communication, which can attract conversation or, on the contrary, repel.
If you don’t know a person well, once you know his name, try to repeat it during a conversation and call him by name. This will be a very polite sign on your part.
Probably everyone has found themselves in a situation where there is a not very pleasant pause between a conversation. To avoid such an awkward moment in communication, you should forget about short answers like “yes” and “no”. Answer your opponent’s question as fully as possible and also ask questions that require a more detailed answer. This way your conversation will flow on its own. But don’t overdo it here either. Communication should not turn into an attack with questions. The interlocutor should feel comfortable, and not as if he is under interrogation and simply forced to answer.
Learn to correctly express your thoughts and ideas, adapt them to others’ perceptions. Remember that not everyone has exactly the same image in their head as you do while telling a story. To do this, try to convey to your interlocutor the image that arose in your mind, provide information more clearly, and explain everything that is necessary.
Don't rush to answer questions right away. A pause will help you not only collect your thoughts and think about the answer, but will also show interest and mystery on the part of the person with whom you are talking.
Excessive gestures in communication can prompt the interlocutor to think about your lack of self-confidence. Extraneous hand movements can greatly distract from the essence of the conversation, while no one will appreciate the importance of your words; they simply will not pay attention to them.
Avoid using words and phrases with ambiguous connotations. Your words may be interpreted incorrectly and may even offend your interlocutor. Be clear about what you mean.
Not everyone can adapt to their interlocutor. This is a fairly important point in communication. Observe your opponent, the pace of his speech, and try to repeat it as much as possible. Communicating in the same manner will turn your conversation into a constructive conversation.
By the way, even in business conversation Sometimes it will be appropriate to demonstrate your sense of humor. If you apply it in a timely manner, you can defuse a tense situation and make communication easier.
When communicating, consider the age of your interlocutor. Let's say the conversation is with a person who is much older than you. Here, accordingly, you should avoid slang expressions that may be completely unfamiliar to your interlocutor.
Let's sum it up
Of course, the main teacher is experience, which does not come immediately. To obtain it you need time and appropriate conditions. The main thing is to be as self-confident as possible, to be able to “carry” yourself, to position yourself in society. Expand your social circle to include absolutely different people: both by age, and by views, and by life positions.Any communication starts small. Thanks to some communication skills, you will be able to become an authoritative person in your circles, to whom everyone will listen with interest. It is not for nothing that it is said that self-love gives rise to the love of others for you. Only when you begin to respect yourself will others begin to do the same towards you.
The ability to communicate will definitely lead you to success. Communication skills are essential in everyday life. Never be afraid to step out of the shadows and be the first to communicate. Be polite and friendly, and then you will be able to win sympathy from your interlocutor. Good luck and success.
1. “We never get a second chance to make a first impression.” - this famous phrase, emphasizes in the best possible way the importance of a person’s appearance, his image. After all, the first impression of a person is the strongest. It is deeply etched in the memory and leaves a mark forever.
This is a reason to make sure that clothes, shoes, hairstyle, demeanor, gait, facial expression are at the proper level and only play “plus”.
And with an impeccable suit and neat hairstyle, you need to remember that our face, the map from which the interlocutor “reads” and decides whether to deal with this “terrain” or whether it is better to find something safer and more pleasant. Avoid condescending, arrogant, aggressive, or threatening facial expressions.
2. It has been proven that The main formation of an opinion about a person occurs during the first four minutes of communication. For this, we have time to scan the interlocutor from head to toe, catch the most insignificant gestures, eye expressions, etc. At this moment, the senses work at full capacity, perceiving the object through all channels.
As a result, a holistic image is synthesized and we, based on the “research” carried out, form our own attitude towards it. We already understand whether the interlocutor is pleasant or unpleasant to us, whether we will strive to communicate with him or, on the contrary, avoid him.
It happens, of course, that the first impression is deceiving, but it is very stable. You can change it, but this will require some effort.
Means, the first ones are better four minutes of communication, use all your charm, maintain a friendly, positive tone of conversation.
3. From the very beginning of the conversation, it is necessary to maintain a positive attitude and communicate as equals, as friends. Tactfulness, politeness, respect, goodwill towards the interlocutor best qualities to establish long-term and mutually pleasant relationships.
4. Remember that a smile is the best business card. It not only attracts our interlocutor, but also helps us maintain good things, maintain a positive outlook on the world, increases performance.
There is a relationship between facial expression and our state of mind. A smile on the face activates brain structures that are responsible for our emotional background and, therefore, our mood improves.
It is known that to improve your mood you need to smile and pretend to be happy. After this, more positive emotions really appear.
5. The method of affirmative answers or the Socratic method . Start communicating with your interlocutor with those tasks, topics, issues on which you know that you agree.
Choose and construct questions that your communication partner will answer with agreement.
With the accumulation of affirmative answers, a certain inertia develops. A person who answered “yes” to nine questions will most likely agree with the tenth.
6. Successful communication is impossible without listening skills. And this ability, the ability to be a good listener, can be developed and trained.
Concentrating on the essence of the conversation and not trying to remember everything is unrealistic.
Avoid extraneous thoughts.
While listening to your interlocutor, do not think about what other question to ask him or how to answer him.
Highlight the main and valuable information received from the interlocutor.
Find out for yourself what thoughts, words, ideas cause an emotional outburst in you and “neutralize” them. Otherwise, the strong ones will disrupt your concentration and attention.
During the conversation, understand “What is the speaker pursuing? What does he want to convey, communicate, convey?”
Be attentive not only to the words spoken, but also to how they are pronounced by the interlocutor. With what facial expressions, gestures, pace, intonation, with relaxation or tension, with pressure or sluggishness.
Let your interlocutor know that you understand his thoughts. To do this, you can repeat what you heard or convey the meaning of the information you heard.
Avoid value judgments, do not give “A” or “F”, “bad” or “good”.
While listening, keep your advice to yourself, even if it arises from a desire to help; it does not allow the interlocutor to speak out the way he would like.
P.S. Friends, visit the site, read the latest publications and find out who is in the TOP of the best commentators of the current month.
10 rules of communication for those who want to be successful
When talking about the components of success, they usually name the following: optimism, self-confidence, perseverance, hard work, and the ability to learn from mistakes. But they often forget that we live among people, work with them and for them, so the ability to build relationships with others is an important factor in our comfortable well-being and achievements at work.
According to studies conducted in different countries, relationships in a team influence job satisfaction no less than working conditions. True, men and women have different ideas about what a good microclimate is. For men, it is enough for the relationship to be calm and non-conflict. Women need friendly affection, similarity of interests, and spiritual understanding.
But for both of them, success is impossible without interaction with people: employees, colleagues, partners, clients. It has long been noted that the king is played by his retinue. In the same way, we can safely say that the people who surround us can play along, help us, or, conversely, hinder our career advancement.
If you have an unprofessional team, have ill-wishers or partners who do not respect you, then no matter how great a specialist you are, there will be a lot of obstacles on the path to success.
What are the rules? effective communication ensuring success?
- Be a positive person. Approach people with positive expectations. Do not create negative images in your thoughts (stupid, incompetent, lazy, deceiver, thief) of those with whom you have to work. Negative energy is transferred to the communication partner and, accordingly, sets him in a certain mood.
- Don't treat people with contempt, take a sincere interest in them. Address people by name. Be aware of the life events of those with whom you often communicate (birthdays, family, hobbies).
- Don't think of yourself as the center of the universe. Have self-respect, but don't be proud. Its signs: a feeling of infallibility and irreplaceability, boasting, unhealthy competition, refusal to help, the desire to always prove that one is right, excessive touchiness.
- Don't be too pushy, similar to representatives network marketing or sellers from whom you immediately want to leave. Do not indulge in long monologues about your favorite dog or car, or about your problems, forgetting about the interests of your interlocutor.
- Learn to control your emotions, do not lose your composure, try to avoid quarrels. Impulsiveness, harshness, anger, and resentment do not contribute to mutual understanding.
- Influence not only a person’s mind, but also his feelings. Try to satisfy people's needs for recognition and respect. At least sometimes ask for advice. Everyone likes to be competent and helpful.
- Consider the opinions of others. Know how to listen and understand a person's point of view. Don't interrupt the speaker, even if you don't agree with him.
- Criticize less, praise more(of course, for real merit). Appreciate other people's virtues, achievements and admit your mistakes. This always disarms even those who are unfriendly.
- Don't skimp on compliments, but don't confuse them with flattery. A sincere compliment is always pleasant, lifts your spirits and helps to establish contact.
- Be grateful. The more often you say “thank you,” the more positivity, warmth and participation you receive in return. Express your gratitude to people for their attention, kind words, support, help.
“Good relationships with people are the main ingredient in the recipe for success”(T. Roosevelt). Use these rules in life - and you are guaranteed the desired prospects in your career and business.
Most of the results of our work directly depend on a person’s ability to establish contacts. Communication skills truly solve most problems, provide choice, and open up new opportunities. What do you need to work on to make communication successful? Can everyone develop good communication skills?
Factors for successful communication
Many people understand without words internal states interlocutor on a subconscious level. They are conveyed by body language, as psychologists say, this is non-verbal information, which is sometimes more eloquent than any words. What can it tell about us? appearance:
- Demeanor. A calm, confident attitude towards oneself can be read by a direct gaze, good posture, and the absence of nervous movements. Self-confidence is the basis of equal communication. Without it, you will always take the position of a beggar, losing any negotiations in advance.
- Well-groomed appearance. Whatever style a person prefers, clothes, hairstyle, shoes should be neat. However, when going for an interview with a potential employer, for example, it is better to dress appropriately. By creating your own unique clothing style, you show your individuality. However, remember about aesthetics; it is better not to violate its basic laws.
- Facial expression, facial expressions, emotions. The stony, gloomy face looks repulsive. Excessive gaiety makes one suspect frivolity. Although of course it all depends on the situation. At a party, seriousness is unnecessary, just as it is inappropriate to make jokes at the negotiating table. Our face tells people a lot. It is worth learning to control our emotions and facial expressions so that our intentions are emphasized non-verbal ways transfer of information.
However, appearance is just the tip of the iceberg. The ability to make profitable contacts, make deals, and simply acquire good friends and acquaintances directly depends on several factors. Don't think that an ear-to-ear Hollywood smile will attract people to you. Quite the contrary. Ostentatious good nature, unnatural, artificial grimaces will only make others suspicious of you. Why? Because the facial expressions are so unnatural. Even you yourself will begin to get nervous, experience an unpleasant feeling that something is wrong. And convey it non-verbally to your interlocutor.
To ensure successful communication, follow these rules:
I think the main idea is clear: for communication to be successful, you need to work on your habits: control the flow of information that we transmit to others (verbal - verbal and non-verbal - body language). The ability to assess a situation, behave in accordance with it, speak freely, show interest and respect for your interlocutor, remain yourself, and respect the freedom of others are the basic factors of successful communication.
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