Gorbunova Natalya Efimovna,
mathematic teacher
GBOU secondary school No. 1245 of Moscow.

Dream Island. "School" fairy tale.

Characters:

1. Mary Ivanna, an experienced teacher.
2. Petrovich, her husband.
3. Narrator.
4. Queen.
5. Minister of Education.
6. Yaga Kostyanovna, methodologist.
7. First Ambassador.
8. Second Ambassador.
9. Third ambassador.
10. Babysitter.
11. Koschei Bessmertnovich, substitute teacher.
12. Ivan, student.
13. Emelya, student.
14. Vasilisa the Wise, student.
15. Princess Nesmeyana, student.
16. Voice from Dream Island.

Dedicated to the memory of Leonid Alekseevich Filatov.

Prologue.

Narrator:
In some kingdom
famous state,
Lived modestly
In the huge tower
Mary Ivanna, an experienced teacher,
Lessons gave aerobatics;
Petrovich, her husband,
The geek was, they say, ideological.
There was a queen and there were ministers,
The teachers were also methodologists…
We will not delay you with an introduction,
Let's start the real story!

Scene 1

Narrator:
Crazy like an alarm clock
The mobile phone rang in the morning.
Mary Ivanna grab the phone,
To run to the kitchen
And from the tube a formidable voice,
It is impossible not to recognize him!

Queen's voice on the phone:
Here is a royal decree for you:
Come to class right now!
Today the guest house is full -
Ambassadors-teachers of all areas.
So you bleed
Prepare a lesson for us!
You can't - who's to blame? -
I must execute you.
state business,
Are you catching the thread?

Maria Ivanovna:
Something I don't understand
With my mind?
Tea, I don’t sip cabbage soup,
I figure out what's what.
Turns out it's on me
All politics in the country:
If I don’t prepare a lesson -
There must be war.

Queen's Voice:
Come on, don't be sharp
Gather up and look
Modern give a lesson
Impress guests so that he can!
ICT to apply,
Don't forget about visibility.
With sense, with humor, with intelligence ...
In general, you know what's what!
When I understood the order -
Fulfill this very hour!

Maria Ivanovna:
Don't hesitate to doubt
Tea, it's not the first time!
Maria Ivanovna bends over a notebook. Petrovich enters.

Narrator:
The husband dragged himself - he wants to eat,
And the wife is busy with might and main ...
Above the notebook
Full of creative thoughts.

Petrovich:
On you my soul
The century would look without breathing,
Only breakfast, the heart feels
I don't get a damn thing!
My father-in-law was right:
“You put up with such a wife -
Clever beauty,
Works with any class!
She work all day
From morning to night, not laziness.
Do not crawl to the stove -
It's you, honey, mind you.
If you don't want to go on a diet
Stay for three weeks
You are recipes on the Internet
Culinary look!
If you don't find it, put it in your mouth
Only an on-duty sandwich."

Maria Ivanovna (without looking up from her notebook):
Don't twist and don't whine!
There will be a table and there will be game!
In the freezer, rummage around,
If you find a chicken, burn it.

Petrovich:
Algorithm?

Maria Ivanovna (holds out a sheet):
Look here!
Painted: one, two, three.
The fourth point is "salt".
Oh, and don't forget to wash!
And don't distract me
Read everything in the instructions.
Petrovich sighs and leaves with instructions in his hands.

Scene 2

Narrator:
And the queen with the chief ambassador
They are already sitting round table.
Behind - you look - a nanny adviser.
On the side - two more overseas ambassadors
(Oh, the hard one brought them).
A little further - the Minister of Education,
Ready for everything to give their interpretation,
All "comb one size fits all"
For the benefit of, supposedly, an abstract child.
Against the first ambassador, in a bureaucratic way,
Yaga Kostyanovna, methodologist,
Expert in all matters.

First Ambassador:
Causes antires
Your technical progress:
Did you boot up the computer?
Under license al without?

Yes!

Second Ambassador:
Causes antires
Educational process:
cool watch lead
According to the Ali system without?

Queen, Nanny and Yaga (in chorus):
Yes!

Third ambassador:
Causes antires
And another cut:
Your children go to school
With joy or without?

Queen, Nanny and Yaga (in chorus):
Yes!

Queen:
We can't solve all problems!
Let's not rush.
Let's hear different opinions
That will remove all doubts.
Our minister prepared a speech...
Speak, otherwise your head is off your shoulders!

Minister:
I'll be brief, gentlemen,
Please take a look here:
Even from a distance
We can see the quality of education grow!
And the percentages say
We are raising smart kids!
Thanks to Yaga (nods in her direction)
We are now taking the exam.
And we all cry with happiness -
It cannot be otherwise!
To you, colleagues, to all - honor,
If the report is on time.
I'm not afraid of loud phrases:
The state loves you!
Even appreciates, respects,
Slight salary increase...
Let's just be honest...
You owe him all around!
Schedule every hour
To keep you busy:
Here - advice, there - a seminar,
Don't let the mosquito sharpen your nose.
How do you hand over all the magazines,
Then go to sleep.

Nanny holds out her hand. The queen shrugged it off in displeasure.

Queen:
Hey, stop humming there
Do not sit until the evening.
Hand, nanny, do not pull.
Speak up, take a chance.

Nurse:
Our minister is not our enemy,
Everything as it is said without bullshit.
I'm just confused -
Does he really want to live like this?
To not know the rest
Fall asleep over the outline
Waste strength, spoil nerves,
Yes, get a penny ...
Here, let me go
At least one lesson
And I'll stand at the door
Until he checks the notebooks.
If he doesn't check it, let him take it home.
Then my dove will sing!

Queen:
Sit down and be quiet -
Your place is by the stove.
From you - one bedlam,
Shame on me, embarrassment to the ambassadors!
I've been anti-rescuing for a long time
Are you not sent to us?

With a decisive step, Maria Ivanovna enters with a pointer and a magazine.

Maria Ivanovna:
Hello, welcome to class
To my lesson yes Classroom hour…

Queen (picks up):
Look, evaluate
Yes, write an article about us.
Words that way ... two hundred,
And let's rejoice together!
Everyone leaves.

Scene 3

Narrator:
Let the guests take over the experience
Our methods are mind blowing...
Look: an hour and another pass,
And the ambassadors sit and do not come out.
But no, he went out alone,
Such a gloomy and important gentleman.
Looks like he needs to call.
Now we will find out everything concretely and accurately!

First Ambassador (on cell phone):
Hello, it's me
Ready to report everything, not hiding.
Conducted reconnaissance, as you ordered,
To achieve our goal.

First Ambassador:
Well, I give a direct answer:
Antiresno, no doubt.
The kids don't feel bad here.
The teachers are just amazing.
Among them there are
That you can't take your eyes off!
This is how children are taught
As if irradiated with a heart.
There is silence in the classroom:
You can hear the mosquito flying.
Well, be patient
And modest, kind, beautiful.
How do they say it!
Everyone will show and explain...
You can say rightly -
This is such a miracle!

Voice:
That would be to lure them here,
Yes, everyone needs to be fed!
Pick one for now
Bring to my country.
You can't persuade
You can fail the experience!
state business,
Are you catching the thread?

Narrator:
Well, here the ambassador became discouraged ...
Cossack something he mishandled was!
Sighed, scratched the back of his head,
The plan of action…quickly jotted down.
He briskly approaches Mary Ivanna,
Yes, he takes her to the side.
She only thinks of one thing:
Home would now be forgotten by sleep!

First Ambassador:
You charmed me
Wonder how they taught!
And I'll tell you without embellishment:
I just fell in love with you.
Why, dear
Are you so tired?
You probably didn't sleep the night!
Can I help?

Maria Ivanovna:
Well, you noticed right.
Apparently I look bad...
So tired, no urine
And after all, the teachers' council,
Yes, a mountain of notebooks at home!
Are you unfamiliar with all this?
I only dream about
For me to work during the day
Go home in the evening
Not with a heavy bag
Go to bed at night,
And do not check notebooks!

First Ambassador (cryptically):
I look, you can’t find a place for yourself,
And you fit us very well.
Tell me, pretty girl, don't you want
Will you go with me to the Island of Dreams?
Imagine: there will be no playful children,
Parents, harmful and negligent,
There will be no lessons, notebooks at all -
Get rid of many problems at once!
You will change your profession and, without melting tears,
You shout with joy: “Hurrah! now my turn
I won't be a teacher! From now on forever
I, like everyone else, WHITE MAN!”

Narrator:
Mary Ivanna shrugged her shoulders,
Mischievous eyes flashed,
Slightly squinted at the classroom door,
Exhaled and ... agreed!
The Ambassador and Maria Ivanovna go arm in arm.

Scene 4

Narrator:
Morning has come again
The sun lit up the earth.
And we are with you this time
Let's go straight to class.
And here are the students.

Ivan:
Over the report all day
I sat like a stump.
No serious thought
Everything is complete rubbish!

Emelya:
Don't be so upset
You Ivan is not a fool!
Blow the report off the internet
It will definitely be a quarter.
Don't break and don't be afraid...

Ivan:
And you yourself?

Emelya:
Yes, I'm lazy...
Still, learning is boring.
Whether business my pike!
Instantly at my will
Easily promotes learning.
As Emelya orders her,
So she will tell him.

Vasilisa the Wise:
You, Emelya, gently lay down,
Don't sow and don't reap!
You talk a lot with your tongue -
It became unbearable to listen.

Emelya:
Something in the sense I will not take:
You, Wise One, why
upbringing committed
Not in our mind?

Vasilisa:
Here is Princess Nesmeyana,
I will tell you without deceit
Always dissatisfied with everything
There are no thoughts - only water!
Roaring over tasks
Compositions completely tear,
Then he throws them into the fire ...
Even spurs don't help!

Princess:
Well, you are all harmful,
(to Vasilisa) Even you in all your glory!
Neither understand nor regret!
You must have a heart!

Ivan:
Stop fighting, friends!
I'll tell you not melting
(in a whisper) There was a call a long time ago.
Mary Ivanna ... no, after all, on time!

Emelya:
It's necessary, it's too late!
And yesterday she scolded me:
Didn't want to get off the stove -
Theorem to prove.

Princess (whining):
What should we all do now?
We've been abandoned completely!
I'm crying now...

Vasilisa (with a smile):
There will be tears here for sure the sea!

Ivan:
Suddenly lucky today:
Mary Ivanna won't come?!
We then rush to the movies!
Are you at the same time with me?

Students (in chorus):
Yes!!!
They run away.

Scene 5

Narrator:
And meanwhile the queen is angry,
It just can't find a place for itself.
Mary Ivanna can not get through,
No one answers the phone!
The queen began to think:
Whom would she turn to for help?
I remembered at my leisure about an old friend -
Yaga Bone leg.

Queen:
Hello, Yagusya, it's me!
Hello my dear!
Help solve the problem
Mary Ivanovna replacement.
Disappeared in an unknown direction
Without even leaving a statement.

Yaga:
You don't joke like that anymore
Time to investigate!
Maybe Mary Ivanna's children
Were you able to bring it?

Queen:
You offend, our children -
The best in the world!

Yaga:
Maybe you need to check
Is the team not very friendly?

Queen:
No, I will guarantee:
We are all one family here!

Yaga:
Maybe she doesn't have enough money?
Tea, the salary was not enough?

Queen:
Our Mary Ivanovna is a patriot:
He loves his job and does not take bribes!

Yaga:
Well, then I'll tell you as a friend,
The secret services are here!
Well, I'll control
And I will send you a replacement.

Narrator:
Poor, poor children!
What are they responsible for?
Yaga Kostyanovna did not blunder,
Mary Ivanovna conjured up a dashing replacement!

Scene 6

Narrator:
The bell rang in the morning
Lesson begins...
Students sit and wait
“Well, when will they come?”
Here is a minute, another passes ...
Koschey Bessmertnovich enters the classroom!
Angry at the children in advance
Immediately gives the task.

Koschey:
You are lazy, parasites,
Fools and fidgets!
Know you have no mercy
You have to answer for everything!
For a minute this verse
Learn from here to now!
Who does not learn at all,
I'll eat that, guys!
That is, I wanted to say
What is ready to punish you!
So you better shut up
Yes, sit and learn!
Ivan and Vasilisa delve into the book. Princess Nesmeyana wipes her tears with a handkerchief, and Emelya leans over to the bucket in which he has a pike, and whispers something to her. Koschey turns around sharply and grabs a bucket.
You won't fool me
"Col" to you, vigorous louse!
Write two hundred times in a notebook:
"I won't lie anymore."
He looks menacingly at the weeping Princess.
Well, why are you crying?
Soon you will rot alive!
On the problem book and solve
Count one hundred examples.
Suitable for Ivan and Vasilisa.
Something you have united...
Are they related in malice?
Well, shove in the corners,
Yes, sit quietly there!
Ivan and Vasilisa frightenedly scatter in different directions. The bell rings.
I'll go for a little walk
And with you, children, I do not say goodbye!
He leaves, taking a bucket of pike. The children look at him in disbelief.

Ivan:
What kind of miracle is this
We were sent and from where?
If he rolls again,
Then Kondraty is enough for me!

Princess:
Mary Ivanna loved us,
She taught and scolded.
Even if I instructed
Never offended!

Vasilisa:
We didn't appreciate it!
Feel free to blame yourself...
It's better to think together
What should we do, how should we be?

Emelya:
Yes, my pike is gone!
Apparently, there will be science for me ...
Well, it's time to get off the stove,
Look for Mary Ivanovna!

Scene 7

Narrator:
Without hesitation, the children gathered ...
And where to look for something? They were confused.
We went out into the corridor, and here - look:
A kind nanny hurries to help them.

Nurse:
Something you are unhappy
Heads hung!
I know your twist
The reason for your sorrows.

Vasilisa:
Be our friend, tell us
Yes, tell the whole truth.
Mary Ivanna to us
Where to look, in what region?

Nurse:
I will reveal the secret
I'll give you an answer to your question.
Mary Ivanna is far away,
It's not easy to get to!

Over the seas, over the forests,
Beyond the high mountains
There is an island in the ocean
And there are countless miracles on it!

There is a scientific institute
Learns easy work:
To bring joy
And didn't put in a lot of effort.

People are listened to in advance
And all wishes are taken into account.
The program is then compiled
It is sent to the computer.

But there are persistent rumors:
Computers are dropping like flies.
All professions run in,
And on the teachers - they stood up together!

So they stole your Mary Ivanna,
To, therefore, disentangle this porridge!
They promised, probably, to give her a rest,
And they themselves intend to draw into the experience!

Emelya:
Well, I do not! (banging fist)
That will be our answer!
What is the name of the island, do you know?

Nurse:
Yes, that's what it is called - the Island of Dreams!

The children run away. The nanny waves after them.

Scene 8

Narrator:
But Mary Ivanna lives and does not know
That she is being seriously watched.
She comes home early
And he finds time to rest.
Looks fresh and fun
Thoughts are not at all occupied with school.
Do not disturb lessons, calls
And truant students.
It's just heavenly life!

Narrator:
But a week goes by...
Mary Ivanna is tormented by longing.

Maria Ivanovna:
How are my children, how is the class?
Who is replacing me now?
What knowledge does it give children?
And will they pass the test?

Voice:
Do not be executed, because you wanted
Relax …. So what's the deal?
She said: work is shock
And not at all grateful!
Now what? Does your conscience hurt?
Calm down your little one!
And let them continue to teach
Someone else is better!

Narrator:
Mary Ivanna was horrified...

Maria Ivanovna:
How is it different?

Narrator:
And suddenly ... woke up!

Maria Ivanovna:
My God, this is a dream!
How strange is he...

Narrator:
Instantly, straightening your strands,
She collected notebooks
Swallowing a cup of coffee
Husband quickly fed,
Leaving the house cheerfully
Where everything is simple and familiar.
It was a wonderful day ahead.
Difficult, but interesting!

Students (in chorus)
Hello!

Narrator:
... - it sounded nearby,
My heart immediately pounded...
Sees: by the road in a row
Her students are standing.

Princess:
Maria Ivanovna, we ourselves understand
That we are not sugar, that we are a noisy class,
What is very difficult for you sometimes happens with us,
But it's even harder, probably, without us?!

Emelya:
We are restless, and sometimes lazy,
We do not listen to simple and wise phrases,
Thank you for being patient with us
What do you believe, rely on us!

Vasilisa:
We understand it's not easy
Live in a whirlwind of daily bustle.
But who knows where he is, this Island
Such a wonderful, righteous Dream?!

Epilogue.
Maria Ivanovna:
I had a wonderful dream yesterday:
Count with anxiety the days until leaf fall

Now I'm not a teacher, I'm free
From school endless problems,
And life flows so sedately, nobly,
Without undisclosed topics and theorems.

Imagine: these eternal notebooks
From now on, not meant for me
And I can dream of the water surface,
About a prince on a silver horse.

I can go to the pool at my leisure,
I can bake a pie for the whole family
And not about school to chat with a friend,
And tell about your joys.

Other people's children do not disturb the soul,
There is no series of lessons, changes ...
But somehow I'm not getting any younger
I miss cute school walls!

Yes, it seems that now I miss them,
Without children's eyes, without noise, fuss ...
After all, the children give me their hearts
Like bouquets of wondrous beauty!

I had a terrible dream yesterday:
I'm not a teacher, I no longer need
Count with excitement the days until leaf fall
And go to school every day in the morning ...

This joke and funny scene congratulations to teachers on Teacher's Day was written by the modern poet Olga Skladchikova. Perhaps this cool scene can be useful to you in preparing the script for the holiday Teacher's Day. Such comic scene congratulations will appeal to both teachers and all guests of the Teacher's holiday at school. Thanks to the author!

See other scenarios for school holidays on the website, and let your Teacher's holiday be unforgettable.

Congratulation-sketch on Teacher's Day (comic and funny)

New old

Heroes:
The old chemist - an old man with swirling bangs, huge glasses, in a medical coat, with shaggy eyebrows;
Grandmother - A hunched old woman, in a scarf on her head, with several painted over teeth, with a cane;
Former model (aged) - a lively old woman, in massive heels, hung with jewelry, with bright makeup, a huge booty from a pillow;
Biker - a huge old man, with a beard, with an earring in his ear, in leather clothes, with a lollipop.
Crazy - an elderly frisky grandfather, in pajamas, with a badge (ward number 13), constantly squinting his eyes and laughing hysterically contagiously.

(go to the music -)

1 hero:

Imagine who we are:
Grandmothers, grandfathers are not simple.
Old men we are mischievous,
The ringleaders are humorous.

2 hero:

We want to congratulate you
We will turn your day into a fairy tale.
Congratulations on Teacher's Day
And now let's introduce ourselves

3 hero:

We are graduates, to be honest,
Lying, of course, is not appropriate.

4 hero:

This is the moment,
Look who has become who!

Old Chemist:

Hello, I'm an old chemist,
And I want to tell you
How sometimes he sat with a guitar,
But I wanted to know more.

Teachers considered me
They made everyone cram
So as not to know later anxiety,
Easily learn the subject.

Grandmother:

I used to study here
And sometimes naughty a little,
And now I'm old
I only speak rubbish.

I bring my little grandson here
Despite sclerosis,
He must know all the sciences,
To grow smart quickly.

Biker:

I'm a biker, a killer dude,
Went to school every other day
Let the lesson be cool
I was too lazy to teach him.

Well, why? Waste!
I chose the bike
Let the salary be small
I was able to feed myself.

Former model:

I came out with a face, a figure,
But she was a total idiot.
Unfolded and faded
Is life in vain?

I needed to study
To work and work.
Photos don't last forever
Time is very fleeting.

I wouldn't be a phantom in my life
Former model with a diploma!
We are dolls, but life is a game,
It's like it was all yesterday!

Crazy:

Check out my outfit
What a lovely seat he is.
I look, well, straight to the "encore!"
Show chtol you a striptease?

Joke, joke, don't be rude!
Have pity on the patient!
I am a disgrace to everyone
I still remember my teachers.

Always boasted of a diary,
And there was only "two" in it!
My head is a mess
Well guys, I'm an idiot!

3 hero:

We introduced ourselves, opened
You are in a hurry for the holiday!

4 hero:

Teacher's Day is not just like that!
Now it will be the most delicious!

(together):

Together we wish you...

Former model:

Look beyond your years

Old Chemist:

Mind to shine for decades,

Grandmother:

Live long, and so that without trouble!

1 hero:

Let's play guys!
DO NOT look at your notebooks!

2 hero:

Let's put things in order now
We'll give you riddles!

Puzzles:

1) What now? Which lesson?
And when does the bell ring?
What influences effort?
This is our ... (schedule).

2) Who is chasing you around the hall?
Hardens little by little?
Without him, you are like without hands,
Who is this? Our ... (physical hand).

3) Who teaches you to "Hurrah!"?
Who wishes you well?

Who is your guardian angel?
Of course, this is ... (teacher).

1 hero:

Well we all said
On Teacher's Day, with a soul,

2 hero:

They showed a mini-sketch, -
A piece of life is small.

3 hero:

We are all grateful to you
For warmth, love, work,

4 hero:

You have invested in us
Worried, and more than once.

5 hero:

You left a mark on us
They became like this because of you.

1 hero:

There are no better teachers.
Please accept verses from us.

5 hero:

We wish you all the best,
To pursue success!

1 hero:

Let bad weather bypass you
There will always be a lot of happiness!

(The madman rips off his pajamas, and under it he wears a classic formal suit);

(music sounds, the characters leave).

Did you like the funny joke scene for Teacher's Day? PUT ON YOUR PAGE IN SOCIAL NETWORKS!

Olesya Emelyanova

Sketch about the teacher

Skit duration: 15 minutes; number of actors: from 4 to 8.

Characters:

teacher
Excellent student Kruglova
Loser Petrov
Troechnik Barankin
Doctor Kruglova
Chef Barankin
Dikar Petrov
Host (live actor)

The stage is empty. The leader comes out.

Leading

That's what a riddle I am
I ask you all:
He is nothing less than a family
It means for kids.
He will tell them everything
Whatever they ask him
For him a special house
Opens autumn.
Speeds and noise there
He is a restrictor.
It's not hard for us to guess
Who is he?

Spectators

Teacher!

The Teacher comes out from behind the scenes. The presenter and the audience applauded.

Presenter (viewers)

Come on, clap harder
Is it not enough strength?

The leader applauds very strongly, often and loudly.

Teacher (Leader)

Enough, don't take your hands off!
(to the audience)
Hello guys!
About my profession
I'll tell you with pleasure.
I give my all to her.
Even on Saturdays.
Nobody needs me more
Will never.
I work so that from the children
People have grown!
I teach them to read, write,
speak beautifully,
Count without a computer
Apples and plums.
Helping you get smarter
If you don't study
In real savages
You can turn.
This century has come:
No knowledge - fired.
Who at least someone in life has become,
He studied at...

The host gives the audience a signal.

Spectators

School!

teacher

Set a good goal in life -
The school will show the way
So stupid your portfolio
Bury on the beach.
School is a temple of knowledge
Silly grave!

Leading

Tell me what is there
Waiting for cute little ones!

teacher (strict)

That's what we'll call them
grandmother and mother,
At school they all have to
Become…

The host gives the audience a signal.

Spectators

Disciples!

Petrov and Barankin run out onto the stage and fight with briefcases.

teacher

Hey Petrov! Barankin, hey!
Do not kill yourself, for an hour!

Petrov and Barankin run away from the stage.

teacher

It's a bunch of kids
They call...

The host gives the audience a signal.

Spectators

class!

Leading

How do children know
With whom and where to study?

teacher

The classes are named
It's hard to get lost:
First "A" and First "B"...
Everything is easy and simple.
My, for example, the Third "G".

The teacher shows a sign with the name of the class.

Leading

teacher

Seriously!

Leading

Call a number with a letter
The whole class is dishonest!
Why not call
Something interesting:
For example, beetles, marmots,
Robots, dragons...

Teacher (edifyingly)

This is not a camp by the river,
Let them play at home.
Strictness is sometimes needed
There are reasons for this:
We must educate
In children...

The host gives the audience a signal.

Spectators

Discipline!

The bell rings.

Leader (frightened)

What else is this?

teacher

Call!
The first one is the best!

Leading

Only by a miracle did not go deaf -
Just the devil!
Heard even on the porch!

teacher

He will remind you by the deadline
About the beginning and the end
Every…

The host gives the audience a signal.

Spectators

Lesson!

teacher

I'll show you now
How is the lesson going?
Third G! Come to class!

An excellent student Kruglova enters the stage, followed by Petrov and Barankin running in.

Petrov (sadly)

Everything! End of freedom!

Petrov pulls Kruglov's pigtail.

Kruglova

Ay! Let it go! Get off you fool!

Petrov (cheeky)

Neither yesterday nor tomorrow!

Petrov again pulls Kruglov's pigtail. Kruglova tries to hit him with a briefcase, he tries to run away. The teacher stops him.

teacher (strict)

Stop running. you have to go
Sit down again...

The host gives the audience a signal.

Spectators

Desks!

Three desks and a board appear on the stage. Pupils take their places, at the mention of their names they get up and immediately sit down.

teacher

So! Kruglova…

Kruglova (voice)

teacher

Petrov...
And Barankin...

The teacher takes out and opens a class magazine.

teacher

Dale,
I need students
Register in…

The host gives the audience a signal.

Spectators

Journal!

teacher

Everything in it needs to be noted.
Apart from excuses.
I see you, Petrov, again
Didn't complete assignments.

Petrov (indignantly)

Why me all the time?

teacher (fun)

You are the star of the week!
Where is the notebook, my love?

Petrov

Crocodiles have eaten!
I hit them on the head.

Barankin (with bated breath)

What are they?

Petrov

Teacher (impatiently)

Stop lying! Go to the blackboard
And solve the problem.

Petrov gets up and dejectedly goes to the blackboard.

teacher

Don't get mad at the plot.
For a conversation dear
At the Petrovs they drank tea
Eight crocodiles.

Brankin and Kruglova giggle.

Petrov

You are all lying!

teacher

And one
I broke the etiquette
Ate Petrov's notebook and
I even ate a cup.
Now, Petrov, tell me
How many whole cups
And write the solution
On the board we ...

The host gives the audience a signal.

Spectators

Chalk!

The teacher gives the chalk to Petrov.

Kruglova (holds out her hand)

May I? Well, can I?

teacher

Stop it, Kruglova!
ask one of you
The school is not ready.

PETROV (in a round whisper)

Tell me!

Kruglov (basically)

Yes, for nothing!

Barankin (in a whisper)

Kruglova (loudly so that Petrov does not hear Barankin)

Petrov (with annoyance)

Teacher (to Barankin strictly)

Don't tell me, don't
I'll take you out of class.

barankin

Don't help a friend,
Everyone knows this!

Teacher (edifyingly)

If you don't mind helping!
Do it honestly
He did not understand - explain,
Friendship is strength!
If a friend, then win
Lying crocodiles!
Make it so that your friend himself
All solved problems
And he walked with a notebook to us -
We do not bite with lies!
What are you going to take on him?

barankin

It's too hard!

Kruglova (vindictively)

re-educate him
It's just impossible!
He is a bum and a fool!

Petrov comes up to Kruglova and pulls her pigtail, she hits him on the head with a textbook.

teacher

Stop fighting!
Did you count or what?
How many cups?

Petrov

Twenty!
Correctly?

teacher

Unfortunately, no!

Petrov

teacher

Wrong again.
Who will give the correct answer?

Kruglova holds out her hand.

teacher

Speak, Kruglova!

Kruglova

Barankin (grouchily)

Well, what did I say!

Petrov

It should have been louder!

teacher

Where is the diary, Petrov?

Petrov (defiantly)

Forgot
In the mouth of a crocodile!
He chewed it
Spit it in the trash!
You can in your journal
Put your deuce!

Host (indignantly)

That's who I would slap
"Kol" for behavior!

teacher

No, my profession
Requires patience!

Petrov

Have suffered be healthy:
Apples plus plums!

teacher

You behave, Petrov,
Not very nice!

Petrov (impatiently)

Here you go, school! Get it!

Petrov throws his briefcase at the board.

Petrov (to the teacher and the class)

You are bothering me!
Prince, without leaving the oven,
Emelya became a fool!
So even without school I
I'll be fine
Instead of a stove I have
There will be a whole train!
I'll set myself up
And a rocket garage
There will be a circus performer...

teacher

Yes, there is no harm in dreaming!
Me, friends, already now
Just guess
What will become of you
So twenty years later.

Children disappear behind the desks. Instead, adults appear - Dr. Kruglova, Cook Barankin and overgrown with hair, like a bum, Savage Petrov.

Doctor Kruglova

I am now a famous doctor
I cure all diseases!

Chef Barankin

I can bake kalach -
He is better than medicine!

teacher

Well, what have you become, Petrov?
What have you achieved?

Savage Petrov (with a sigh)

Degraded and here
Turned into this!

Dr. Kruglova (horrified)

He has hair on his body!

Savage Petrov (mournfully)

Every day it gets worse.
I am who I am
Society doesn't need it.
None of me at all
Got it in life.
I am very sorry that
Didn't study at school.
I'm not happy about it now
The finish is below the start.
That would bring everything back
Sit down at the desk again.

teacher

Do you want to take first class?

Savage Petrov (hopefully)

Can? Are you seriously?

teacher

Yes! learn from anyone
It's never too late!
Here: textbooks, briefcase ...

The teacher takes out and gives Dikar Petrov his briefcase.

Dikar Petrov

Yes, now I know
Pike and stoves for Emel
Doesn't happen in life!
I'm lazy to grow
I will stop fur.
Pass my exams again
I will become a man!

The bell rings.

teacher

That's when the bell rang.
It's time for us to say goodbye.
Our lesson is over
Not having time to start.

Dr. Kruglova and cook Barankin give the Teacher bouquets of flowers.

Doctor Kruglova

To you! For helping
Bring us to the people!

Chef Barankin

We remember and love you
We will be for a long time!

The teacher leaves. The presenter, the audience and the characters on the stage applaud her.

Teacher's Day

1 Ved. Hello!!!
2 Vedas . - Today is an unusual day!
3 Vedas - Today is an amazing day! Today...
All: Holiday!!!

1 Ved . Glad! and long-awaited!

2 Vedas Today is the holiday of those who proudly bear the title of teacher, master, teacher!

3 Vedas Thank you, dear teachers, for what you are, for what you are, and we all love you very much!
ALL: Happy holiday!
1st host:

October, as before, paints with gilding
Edges of heaven, forests and distant fields
To us again through all everyday worries
A bright holiday is coming - Teachers' Day!

2nd host:

Mentors - poems and songs;
The sparkle of inspirational lines,
The wisest of all professions
With the name of the proud Teacher!

3 Ved. Strict and affectionate
Wise and sensitive
Those who have gray hair at the temples,
For those who have recently left the walls of the institute,
To those who told us the secrets of discoveries,
Teaches in work to achieve victories -
To everyone who has the proud name of "teacher",
We dedicate a concert.

Song "Happy Teacher's Day"

1 Ved Each person chooses a profession not with the mind, but with the heart. So it or not in our school, we propose to check!

2 Vedas We invite you to answer 9 questions and find out if you are a real teacher or not! Your answer to the question will be your applause!

3 ved . And so, let's get started. You bring everything from home that you might need at work.

1 led. You bring into the house a lot of useless things from the point of view of normal people, your relatives and friends, who watch with fear how the mountain of waste paper inevitably grows in your apartment.

2 led. Your family has been sacrificed for education, they also work with you, although they are not on the staff. They work quietly pitying you. The fate of your child is to wait. At the office, teacher's room, at home, wait patiently and silently.

3 ved . People who are far from being educated don't understand when you talk about your 30 children and 45 parents.

1 ved . There is always more other people's money in your purse than your own (for a tour, for curtains, posters, etc., etc.).

2 ved . Half of the district greets you and the same half evaluates - how are you, where are you and with whom are you?

3 ved . You know how to paint, glue, hammer nails, fix furniture, work until the morning, persuade, forgive, go to work sick and enter into someone else's position.

1 ved . You don't know how to have a good rest, to say "no" to the administration, to walk past the bookshelves.

3 led. You can’t decide in any way: from September 1 - to accept congratulations or condolences to you.

1. Vedas We thought that real teachers, masters of their craft, work in our school!

2 Vedas Teachers! They are like a light on the way
What a big heart you need
To have in the chest to bring light to people
So that his trace could never be erased!

A group of students (6 students) runs out onto the stage. They line up and in turn begin to speak with inspiration, elation:

1.- Our dear ones!

2.- Favorite!

3. - Dear!

4.- Revered!

5. - Adored!

Enthusiastic (continues). Beloved, unforgettable, wrapped up, muzzled, stuffed ...

1. (interrupts, covering the mouth of the Enthusiastic with his hand). What are you carrying? (Strokes him on the head and explains to the audience.) Totally stunned, poor thing. Started talking.

The student group continues:

Our dear teachers!

We love you!

We respect!

Let's honor!

We love it!

Enthusiastic (continues with inspiration). We admire, we admire, we admire, we marvel...

1. (interrupting). Maybe stop being silly?

Enthusiastic (persistently and stubbornly). No-ma-eat!

Group of students (continue in turn):

Yes! We understand how difficult it is for you!

With us, ne'er-do-wells!

Unassembled!

impolite!

Inattentive!

Enthusiastic (interrupts and continues alone).

Lazy, noisy, talkative, rabid ...

1. (indignantly). Well, tired! (Clamps the mouth of the Enthusiastic.

1st reader: To those who introduced us to the first class,

2nd reader: Who does everything for us,

3rd reader: Those who knowledge gives,

4th reader: Who takes us to the theater

5th reader: To those who give us grades,

6th reader: Who will not leave us in trouble,

For those who don't get lazy

Who will teach us to work

Who brings light to people

All in unison: Hello student!

(A fabulous melody sounds, the curtain slowly opens, two buffoons appear, the projector gives an image of a fairy-tale palace, they sing to the music from the movie “Ivan Vasilyevich Changes Profession”)

Buffoon 1. A fairy tale suddenly knocked on the door in silence.

Buffoon 2. The holiday came to school, I believe and I do not believe.

Buffoon 1. The leaf fell, the dawn swam, autumn came.

Buffoon 2. How many days and nights where you were carried.

buffoons(together).

Suddenly, as in a fairy tale, the door creaked.
Everything is clear to me now.
How many years have I argued with fate
For this meeting with you.

(The phonogram of their m / f “Plasticine Crow” sounds, they continue to sing. Video “School 1970”)

Buffoon 1. One simple story

Buffoon 2. Or maybe not a fairy tale

Buffoon 1. Or maybe we want to tell you a story.

Buffoon 2. One wonderful school

Buffoon 1. Maybe not at school

Buffoon 2. Or maybe still at school?

buffoons (together). What's in Save.

Buffoon 1. We gathered for a holiday

Buffoon 2. Or maybe for a matinee

buffoons(together).

To congratulate everyone on the holiday,
Everyone, all teachers!!!

(The Storyteller appears in the tower window.)

Storyteller. Believe it or not, but live in this world Galina-Krasa, director of the school-palace. And beautiful girls live in her kingdom, like swans, albeit a little, and how smart, you can’t say in a fairy tale or describe with a pen.

(The tortured teachers-swans “Hymn to the Teacher” come out to the tune “I love you life”.)

The day is over, you are walking tiredly from school.
There are so many things ahead, even a day is not enough for this.
Every hour, every moment in front of you are solid worries.
You are a teacher and you know that this is not an easy job.

How many of them, mischievous, naughty, stubborn, funny
I met him at the lessons, realizing that life is a school ...
Not sparing his strength, sometimes waiting for a change,
I walked along the same path that always led to school.

There are many roads in the world, only your choice was not accidental.
Feeling kindness and mooring to the native threshold,
You will understand that our school will always be with you.
Every life lesson is passed here, becoming your destiny.

Storyteller. There is a rumor about this kingdom that it is the most remarkable kingdom in the Makievsky state. And they had a holiday, and guests from all volosts came in large numbers.

Queen.

The English ambassador came to us for the morning pickle,
And we have snacks in our house - half a crust and a mosol.

(calling Ivan)

Equip Vanka on the road and get us for the holiday
And artists, and gypsies, oh! Get somebody!
If you can't - who to blame, I will order you to be executed!
State business - you catch the thread!

Vanka .

Something I don’t understand, with my mind
I don’t sip tea with bast shoes, I figure out what’s what.
It turns out on me all the politics in the country
To make everyone happy, I will provide guests!

Storyteller. The word of the queen is harder than crackers. And our Vanya wandered off to look for happiness and mumble grief. Yes, where to go - you need Vanya. Necessary. Ivan walked around the entire southern district, he was tired, there was no urine, and it was towards night. Lie down.

(Under the tree.)

And he has a dream...

1 leader:(catching up) Shh... Hush! There's a teacher's council!!!

Scene "Pedagogical Council". Teacher's. Teachers are sitting, who check notebooks, someone took out a cosmetic bag and corrects makeup, someone flips through fashion magazine etc.

Head teacher: Well, dear colleagues, let's discuss our problems, so to speak.

1 teacher (standing in a shock-resistant helmet):
I love children, friends, always,
But knowing their jokes,
I get defensive sometimes
And I cover my head.
After all, they will come in handy more than once
teachers brains,
And so I enter my class
I, in spite of fear!

2 teacher (standing, hugging a gas mask):
This is my gas mask
Only with him can I go to class!
I have been teaching chemistry for a hundred years,
But still, there is no rest!
They blow up here, they blow up there,
And it won't take five minutes!
I'm sitting in a gas mask
And I lead the children in it!

3 teacher (holds a bag of sweets):
Rastil a good-natured image.
After all, I know Yualways for sure
That kids love chocolate
And I'm in the favorites of the guys
I feed not only knowledge,
Because I love children from the bottom of my heart.
For those who have learned their lesson
I always give candy in my mouth!

4 teacher (holds a soccer ball):
In physical education, without difficulty,
Order will be forever!
Fell, wrung out a hundred times,
Then crawl into your dusty classroom!

5 teacher (holding a class journal):
And my answer is simple
The principal of the school is in front of you!
And if I just want
I'll be expelled from school in an instant,
Children read together
All the books given in school!

Here are my head teachers

They can give you advice...

Head teacher: If you have recently
They gave a class where there is no order,
Don't despair too much!
After all, they pay for it too!
Let, though it is not enough, but it is stable!

2nd:

Enter the class with confidence
And then smash with a swing
On the table to shake!
And calmly start
in a mournful little voice
Talk about something important
For example, about behavior.

1st:

Well, what if it's
Doesn't reach kids
Then think for a moment
Who is the "boss" here?
Tell him: “Why don’t we go out with you
For a heartfelt conversation
In this quiet corridor?

2nd:

If subtle hints
Have no result
In order to advance
educational process
call dad to school
With or without mom
Ask about health
About success at work
Praise, ask
Influence the evil child.
You can right now!

1st:

And when a happy boy
Forget about all the fun
Rubbing the buttock
Yours will leave the office
Don't worry, take it easy:
In the classroom immediately come
Peace, tranquility and grace!
2:

And now there is little left:
Code to remember and understand.
And in my work at school
Never apply!

Principal: Teachers, now is prepared for you

Take an oath and fulfill my commandments

Music teacher- I swear by the piano

And Moonlight Sonata!

labor teacher- I swear by the chisel

And a shovel!

Biology teacher- I swear by root crops

And a microscope!

Physics teacher- I swear by the dynamometer

And a strobe!

Physical education teacher- I swear by the crossbar

And horse!

Teacher

foreign language- I swear by my fattest

dictionary!

geometry teacher- I swear by the protractor

And a theorem!

Algebra teacher- I swear by the coordinates

And the system!

Teacher of Russian language- I swear by morphology

And punctuation!

Chemistry teacher- I swear by oxidation and stormy

Reaction!

A history teacher- I swear by the history of the ancient

Peace!

Drawing teacher- I swear more ready, with a stroke

And dotted!

Literature teacher- I swear by verse and novel,

And a fairy tale!

Geography teacher- I swear by the globe

And a pointer!

“Listen to the director, he knows better how many and to whom to give deuces”,

“Before putting a deuce, think about who will correct it,”

“To honor the head teacher: otherwise he will make so many “windows” that you won’t see the light”,

"Less upset, more rebuild"

“Do not blame the director for all the sins, there is also the Education Department”,

"Do not envy young teachers: they are so far from retirement."

Pupil to teachers: We swear, we swear, we swear

Laughed!? And now for the lessons! And work, work...

storyteller: Ivan turned over on the other side and hears ... Dove sings ...

Song

(Ivan wakes up.)

Ivan.

Either the goblin is now zealous, or the air is now drunk,
Is there a defect in my ear,
Whether such a law is announced from the royal windows,
For the birds to speak human language.

Dove.

Do not create robbery Ivan, but take me with you.
As you take me to the lighthouse, I will become your destiny.
I will sing, dance, play and shine at the holiday
And you play the violin and entertain all the guests.

Vanka.

What kind of parable - I don’t understand, okay - climb into my bag.
We’ll figure out on the spot who goes where and what’s what.

(To the music they pass through the forest.)

I walked all day, and good luck, even a shadow
There are no artists in the area, everything is solid rubbish.

Dove.

Do not twist and do not whimper, there will be a holiday, there will be a feast.
Come on, stand before me Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(They jump out of the chest.)

T.K. Why are we not buffoons, we can do everything: dance and sing

F.F. And we'll show all the successes that you can't see in a dream

T.K. Do not judge us, Vanya, strictly, we are trying to know how.

F.F. What should you show teachers on this holiday?

Together. Songs, dances - in general, a miracle, it's easy with us.

dance

Storyteller: Ivan put the dove and buffoons in a bag and went on. He walked, he walked - he was tired. He sees that the hut is worth it. I looked in the window, and there ...

Scene from Desdemona.

There is a table on the stage, a chair next to it. Othello paces nervously across the stage. Desdemona approaches.

Othello:

I hear steps. Finally at home
My wife will cook dinner for me.
I'm hungry as hell, Desdemona!

Desdemona:

Othello, I don't have lunch.

Othello:

I'm really not in the mood for jokes, dear.
Our refrigerator has been empty for a long time!
I'm just dying of hunger...

Desdemona:

But I was working, not going to the movies!

Othello:

What's in your bag? (takes bag, takes out notebooks)
Again notebooks
Did you bring home?
Woe to me!

Desdemona:

With your nerves, I see, not everything is in order,
You even screamed more than once in your sleep! (sits down to check notebooks)

Othello:

Listen, Desdemona, really
It would be nice to eat now!

Desdemona:

Othello! We have already eaten today.
And it’s even harmful to eat at such a late hour!

Othello:

Listen, I have a job too,
But nothing comes to my mind from hunger!

Desdemona:

Ah, dear, come up with something, really.
Read the newspaper! And the hunger will disappear.

Othello:

My hunger is insatiable. Really
How hard is it for you to go to the store?

Desdemona:

I thought I'd come by the end of the week.
But you yourself could buy something!
You're bothering me, honey. By the way,
So little time left, dear!
I will be on duty at school until the night:
My class is walking at the disco.

Othello:

What disco?! What kind of jokes?!
Our family is about to fall apart!

Desdemona:

Ah, you know, you can't be a slave to your stomach.
I ran, my class is waiting for me.

Othello:

How the hell do you run away from the house.
You work is more important not a family.
Did you pray at night, Desdemona?
Die, unhappy, die, my love!

Desdemona:

No, honey, I'll run to work,
You go to the store and buy something, something...
I'll be back tonight and we'll eat together!

Storyteller: Vanya has seen enough, heard enough .... And got hungry. He looked to the left - nothing, looked to the right - there is a store of amazing things, Vanya stood in line.

The curtain opens. There are tables on the stage with objects laid out on them - experimental goods. At the tables with the goods, two sellers ~ active, cheerful, very kind.

1st seller (happily). And here is the first visitor! Please pass!

teacher (timid, nervous, insecure, glasses on the tip of her nose, which she constantly corrects; she shudders from everything, constantly turns around in fright, fiddling with something in her hands, speaks quietly and politely) . Hello. Excuse me, did I go to the store?

2nd salesperson (helpfully). Happy to serve! What do you want?

Teacher. I would like something... in... for... help...

1st seller (broad gesture towards the items). Please! The widest selection.

Teacher (joyfully grabs the first thing that caught her eye - a broom). Maybe this?

2nd salesman (tries to take away the broom, they struggle). Give it back! (disparagingly). This is an old model...

Teacher (pleasantly). What do you recommend? After all, there was no sweetness with the guys.

1st seller (vigorously). Here! Especially for you: neat tweezers (shows) for pulling out chatty tongues.

The teacher recoils.

2nd seller. And here is the kit (shows): hammer and nails for crucifixion on the desks of the most obnoxious...

Teacher (rolls her eyes, screams). Not! Not!

1st seller (to another). Look, I think she's too impressionable.

2nd seller. There is nothing like that in school...

Teacher (pleasantly). Please... see... something else

1st seller. Well, then - here it is: absolutely harmless and very effective!(puts out toilet paper rolls) Make a gift to a colleague - an English teacher.

TEACHER (with suspicion). Toilet paper? Excuse me, how is it?

2nd seller. It's very simple: send the student with this roll to the toilet and let him sit there until he uses everything, studying English language. You see, here comes the alphabet first, then the words.(rolling paper) then verb tenses.

Teacher. Great idea! Do you have any other subjects like this?

1st seller. F formulas in mathematics, dates in history, difficult topics in Russian... That's all for now, but we continue to work in this direction.

Teacher (joyfully). I take, I take, I take! Ouch! (stops) But if everyone will sit on the toilets, with whom will we deal?Can I see something else?

2nd salesperson (helpfully) . Please please!

1st seller. Here, just for you(begins to get out from under the counter). "Robe of restraint"! gags of various modifications, for example, a dummy gag. “Laxative water”, “Healing noose” ...

The teacher can no longer speak, only mumbles and shakes her head.

2nd seller. Well then we don't know. You will not please ... Maybe a set "to help a novice teacher"?

teacher ( With hope). What's in this set?

1st seller (inspired). A gun for shooting the most impudent, a grenade for neutralizing the most obnoxious, a gas spray for self-defense, a fishing rod for catching ...

(on these words Vanya runs out of the store)

Dance about the teacher-martyr

storyteller: Vanka was frightened, ran away where his eyes did not see and found himself in an unknown clearing. Sees an unknown vessel. Glancing around, he approached the vessel with caution and took it in his hands.

A loud sound like an explosion, a genie appears.
Gin:
What kind of life is that! I just wanted to go online, send a letter to my brother Hottabych on the “soap”, so again someone has problems ... What do you want, my dear?
Vania:
Gosha!!! Stunned ... Jin! Real…
Gin:
Well, what kind of people, huh?! They don’t believe their eyes… The real me, the REAL-I!!! Make a wish come on!
Vania:

And what can I do, that's all I want?
Gin:
Well, straight! Dispersed ... As expected - three wishes and no more!
Vania :
So, why come up with something like that ... Oh! That's because I'm a genius! I always dreamed of changing my math teacher's hair! ... ha ha ha! Exactly my first desire - I WANT Mary Ivanovna to become bald right now! Here will be a joke!
Gin:
Please! (snaps fingers)
Behind the scenes, a heart-rending scream of a frightened teacher is heard.
Vania:
Wow! Judging by the cry - it works !!! So, what would such a large-scale come up with! So that all teachers get ... Oh! My second wish is:
WANT -
So that suddenly the teachers become, like, well, like me!
They expressed themselves just as coolly
having fun and laughing
forgot good speech
and we were taught slang!”
Gin:
"Be as it will be, as you wish,
Since you're dreaming about it -
Tomorrow all teachers
They will surprise you!"

Jin and the student leave the stage.
Backstage voice:"Tomorrow has come."
On stage under Vchitelka-microdistrict of our resident " teachers come out. To keep the intrigue, teachers may not turn their backs for some time, as they have signs attached to their backs - “chemist”, “physical teacher”, etc. Teachers smoke, laugh out loud. The bell rings. They are shouting "Oh, LATE!", run backstage.
Backstage voice:"Chemistry lesson".
Appears on the stage chemistry teacher, who starts the lesson:
"Hey, gift!
The theme of our lesson is...
"Topic!" heh, that doesn't sound bad...
In general, they took those flasks
And that powder over there
Right now we will arrange for the school
A little cool shock.
Pour, add
And shake it up a little...
The lights go out and there is an explosion.
The lights come on, the teacher is covered in soot, his hair is on end.
Damn, it didn't work again.
Tomorrow we will start again!” (runs off stage)

G voice behind the scenes: "Physical education lesson". Jumps onto the stage on a skipping rope Physical education teacher:
“Stand up! Shorts pulled up!
Wake up already!
And... left, not... right
Ivanov's journal for me.
Leafing through a magazine: "Stones,
Scissors, paper, one, two, three...
Ivanov five to you!
Just kidding, only three!
What did you say? Fell down, backed down!
So, Kobylin to me.
Where did we go last time?
You see, it's in the "ne" magazine.
I'm not joking today
I'm not myself today
In general, everyone changed
And let's go home!" (looks at watch, walks off stage)

Enters the stage literature teacher:
"No, well, what's wrong?
Why are we all sitting?
Opening your books
Let's hang out a little right now!
So, Yesenin, Blok, Turgenev
Mayakovsky and Tolstoy.
What to read today
What a big choice.
What did you say to Pyatrenko?
Rubbish classics, huh?
He went out, followed by Karpenko
What a wild brother!
I remember a wonderful moment
Here I remember, there is no here.
While you are reading The Thunderstorm,
And I went to the teachers' council. (he adjusts his glasses, combs his hair and leaves the stage)

Director:
"Well? What the hell are the problems?
Who already got who?
We discuss this topic
And go home, I'm so tired!
I am online today
I found my classmates
Mail, dog, dot Petya
She went headlong into it.
This is what my colleagues say:
Tomorrow is a day off.
No, why take so long
Graduation tomorrow!

All teachers in chorus:
“Yo, cool, we are happy!”
Dancing, having fun. Dancing go backstage. Jin and a student come out.

Gin:
"Well, how happy are you?
All the way? What else do you want?
You have the right to guess
Another desire, you know?
Vania:
“I thought, what a mess!
Well, what have I done?
What a stupid fool I am
Found such a thing.
Teacher is not fun
Teacher - he's not for laughing,
Listen Jeanne, I want again
Get your desire back.
I want to go to college
Then who,

How can a teacher help me?!
Who will teach us high
Strive to become smarter, not cooler?!
Give them back their minds, I beg
I value them very much!”
Gin:
"Well, what's good
Do you want anything else?
Vania:
"I want to congratulate them
With such a wonderful holiday
Let them forgive me
Apprentice-prankster!
May their dream come true
One dream - cherished
You give them what they want
Something specific!

Sounds like song "A Million Dollars" ". Teachers enter the stage, lining up in one line. The genie gives them bags of money (“RUBLE”, “EURO”, etc.) Everyone laughs. After a while, the teachers put the bags aside and come to the edge of the stage,Vania says the final words:
Well, seriously...
You can earn money
Giving heart to us
Just to hear from the heart:
Thank you teachers!

Song of the little ones

Storyteller.

Whirled, skidded with autumn leaf fall
Our Vanka has long been hammered with a large hail ... (Pause)
The guy sees that it’s not a dream - reality before his eyes
There are so many people in front of him beyond words!

(A gypsy camp appears with a song to the tune “A in a restaurant”.)

We'll put things aside
And let's go through with you
About my favorite teachers
We'll talk properly
Let them teach for a long time
We know that they love us all
Let many years pass anyway
Of course we won't forget about you.

Chorus.

And in our school, and in our school
There are many different items
And what the soul wants to choose
And somewhere here begins paradise.

(They dance a gypsy dance.)

We thank you all

Thank you for having us

After all, without you it would be much sadder

After all, so speak, as you can only speakers

After all, look like you can only photo models on the catwalk

After all, only the closest and beloved people can sympathize and understand how you can.

Together: THANKS!

Vania.

Ah yes, the meeting, so I managed to get you all
That, FAQ in this world cannot be at all.
Than yearning and blues life to spend in vain
Maybe you will dance, sing for the queen without arguing?

(Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich run in, interrupting each other...)

T.K. I never opposed useful prospects.

F.F. I'm ready even for the bees in the hive, if only in the team

T.K. Give an order and at least where, at least for the extraction of ore

F.F. I will work hard for nothing without drinking and without water.

T.K. I am good for any business, I enter any door.

F.F. I'll get you whatever you like, even a savvy louse.

Vania.

We have to be on the way by five o'clock in the afternoon
Because they have been waiting for us in that kingdom already.

(The queen appears with her retinue.)

Storyteller. And the queen with her retinue meet Vanya with the guests

1st student:

Dear teachers!
Our whole army of students
So many words could tell you
That we love you, although sometimes
You are leaving us with a headache.

2nd student:

Let the memory leave only good
Let it bring less trouble
That difficult but beloved student,
Who is not used to learning.

3 student:

Let there be fewer mistakes in notebooks,
Wrinkles will only be from smiles,
May luck smile on you
And may the teacher never cry!

4 student:

Whichever way you are,
Everywhere above us and always
One, but brighter than all shine,
Shine, Teacher's star!

5 student:

Teacher's heart...
Well, what can you compare it to?
With the cosmic galaxy
Which has no boundaries?
6 student:

Or maybe with the sun bright,
What gives people light?
With the depths of the sea
What has been dormant for hundreds of years?

7 student:

No, we will not compare!
And we say: “Knock,
The teacher's heart
Hope, Believe, Love!”

8 student:

The teacher is rewarded
The light of children's enthusiastic eyes,
Ability to think and listen
nurtured in each of us!

9 student:

Now we can probably answer
What does the word "teacher" mean?
This is Destiny and Calling
Creativity, faith, luck!

End song (boys give flowers to teachers)

Fairy tale "How the old man sold the cow" for Teacher's Day

Alina.

And now, friends, you are in a fairy tale

We cordially invite you!

teaching, morality

We offer you to find it.

lift the mood

We promise everyone today!

Alice.

We present to you the story...

2nd Leader.

"How competently the old man sold the cow."

Music "Ivan Kupala", buffoons in bright costumes come out, read the words.

Dasha I.

Bonjour, ladies, gentlemen!

Come visit us here!

Miracle fair is coming

Invites everyone to visit!

Kristina

An abundance of all fruits,

Delicious, delicious food.

All that the soul desires

The fair offers you!

Dasha I.

Here you will not be bored

Here they play and sing!

If they start dancing

Just don't take your eyes off!

Dance

Dima P.

Dear teachers,

Let me ask you:

What's at the fair-bazaar

Would you like to buy?

Maybe the textbook is new

Or the cover of a magazine?

Or joy, a song, a joke?..

Exactly! I got to the point!

Christina H.

Three girls without embellishment

You will be told. We continue

Submission for you!

Music. The buffoons leave, three girls appear, sit down on a bench, carry on a conversation.

Nastya K

Something got very boring.

Come on, Thekla, let's ask Marfa -

Is the bazaar expensive now,

How much is the product now?

Masha Sh.

I didn't look at the product.

I looked at Fedor:

He's on his Boomer

Almost drove me crazy!

Olga G.

"Black Boomer" is awesome!

Getting married is so wonderful!

Masha Sh.

Fedor is a cool businessman,

In the course of all currency affairs!

Me and Fedor are a wonderful couple!

Olga G.

You, Masha, don't have a fever?!

By the way, I heard chatting -

He buys a cow!

Nastya K

I'm tired of listening to you

I really want to eat!

Something delicious!

Oh, they sell watermelons!

Lezginka music. A cheerful Georgian comes out with watermelons - balloons, at first he is kind to the girls, then to the teachers.

Georgian.

I sell watermelons

I take it really cheap!

(1st girl.)

Hey pretty girl, listen

Come eat watermelon!

(2nd girl.)

If you want, my dear,

I eat watermelon with you!

(To the 3rd girl.)

Sugar, honey and beauty!

Watermelon is the best food!

Looks at teachers, goes to them.

Oh what a beautiful teacher!

I wouldn't teach kids!

Being a teacher is dangerous

But you look great!

Smile - just joy!

I want to give you sweetness!

I give you watermelons!

Donate, donate!

Throws watermelon balls into the hall, waving to the teachers. The music is interrupted by a phone call, the Georgian takes out the phone.

Georgian.

Fedor decided to call me.

He wants to buy something!

(Talking on the phone.)

Fedya, I'm listening to you.

How is Boomer? How is relative?

Have you decided to buy a cow?!

Just to be new?

You take a thousand with you

I'll find a cow!

Phonogram of the song "Thirty-three cows". The Georgian leaves. On one side, three girls-singers come out, on the other - an old man with a cow (two boys under a cape). To the singing of the girls, the cow, dancing, approaches the audience.

Girls (sing).

We are educators today

Congratulations from the bottom of our hearts!

You are talented, beautiful,

You are glamorous!

We appreciate your lessons

And we hasten to prove to you

What do we know like a cow

This cute cow

This glorious cow

You can sell well!

Chorus:

And our cow (3 times)

Simply the best!

And her figure, and her gait -

Everything is a resounding success!

Choir leaves. The old man and the cow remain.

The phonogram of Seryoga's song "Black Boomer" sounds. On a bicycle, Fedor drives up to the old man (the hero must have bright clothes, appearance). The old man and the businessman are having a dialogue.

Oleg L

I studied at school for almost five!

I know the laws of the market completely!

And if you need to sell something,

Come to me, as I am a businessman!

Alexey C.

And I'm a former businessman,

Now I live on a pension.

But your mind, attention, memory

I don't get tired of training!

The characters shake hands.

Alexey Ts (solemnly).

Let's fight in an intellectual duel!

Wait a minute, Burenka, in the middle!

Oleg L

Dad, do you want to sell the cow?

Alexey Ts

What can I take from you?

Oleg L

I will appreciate your cow well

And I'll pay a thousand rubles for it!

Alexey Ts

Are you crazy, dear?!

Is there a limit to your madness?

Have you heard about the crisis? Did you go to school?!

Did you teach mathematics there, dear?!

(Pulls out a mathematics textbook, shows Fedya and the audience.)

What is a thousand rubles?! It's just zeros!

Look at things soberly, please!

Oleg L

What is there to look at? Vaughn, tumbled sides!

Hooves in sneakers, a crooked leg ...

Alexey Ts

Did you go to school? Did you study Russian there?

Have you read poems? Have you memorized poetry?

(Pulls out one by one textbooks on Russian, literature and a collection of poems. He speaks dreamily, penetratingly.)

Look this cow in the eye!

The eyes are the mirror of our soul...

I remember how at school they gave a task -

Look not at the form, but at the content! ..

I’ll sell cattle only for euros,

I won't give Burenushka for a ruble!

Oleg L (bewildered).

Tell me, what is the cow's milk yield?

Alexey Ts

We're wasting our time with you.

I'll tell you a secret tete-a-tete,

What is "time from money"! Do you understand or not?

you taught at school foreign language?

Has your ear gotten used to foreign words?

I remember the "master's willow" forever -

What should a person always learn!

Oleg L

You got me confused, old man!

My ear is not accustomed to foreign words!

Why do I need French? English why?!

After all, I'm just a simple businessman!

I pay you euro - was not!

OLD MAN (takes money, speaks contentedly).

Learning is light! Ignorance is darkness!

Phonogram of the song "Black Boomer". Fedya hooks a cow onto a bicycle, leaves, the old man counts the money.

Alexey Ts (solemnly).

This is what the power of the word means! Once - and the cow is sold!

(Approaches the teachers, bows, speaks with gratitude.)

And I learned the art of persuasion at school!

Thank you dear teachers!

The girls sing to the tune of the song "Thirty-three cows".

At the end of our fairy tale

We say thank you

And great teachers

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

We wish you all happiness

Peace, joy, kindness!

We say goodbye to you

See you very soon!

It's time for our lessons!

Chorus:

And learn better (3x)

We invite everyone!

Knowledge is joy!

Knowledge is power!

Knowledge is a wild success!

All participants in the story leave. The presenters come out and continue the program.

1st Leader.

With a cheerful song we will end our performance!

2nd Leader.

We wish everyone peace, happiness, light, inspiration!