We all dream about own business, but not everyone is so lucky. And if you are not one of these lucky ones, then you probably have a boss who does not suit you in some way. This is the law of the genre. If you are at least a little lucky and your boss is not a fiend, then there are many ways to win his favor. And here are some of them.
Be a nice person
Make yourself indispensable
This phrase, which you've heard more than once, is absolutely true: if you are the person without whom work is worthwhile, then you are much closer to raises, bonuses and other cool things than others. Think and tell me if you are irreplaceable worker? If not, then it's time to move in this direction. Work on the most important projects, learn what makes you stand out from the rest. Extra training never hurt anyone.
Leadership priorities are your priorities
Make everything important to you that is important to your boss. Talk to him about work, get his opinion and let him feel that your work interests coincide. They don't have to be the same, but be sure you know your boss's priorities and how to get them done.
Keep him posted
Needless to say, your boss won’t like it if you don’t show up to him at least occasionally and keep him updated on all the events. It might even be worth sending him regular progress reports. This is not only to stroke his ego, but also to show how productive you are.
Solve the problem before your boss does it
No one is perfect, and your boss probably understands this. But if you can solve the problem without bothering your boss, you'll look much better in his eyes. The surest way to achieve this is to keep a work journal, which will contain notes about everything you work on, and then evaluate yourself from your superiors. With a little luck, you will see the problem and be able to solve it before it bothers those above you.
Be prepared to apologize for your mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes, and you are no exception. If this does happen, be prepared to apologize. .
"I was wrong. It's my fault. I'll fix it. I made a mistake". These are all examples of bad apologies.
In these cases, you make yourself the center. A much more correct option would be to shift the focus to the interlocutor, more precisely to the one who suffered because of your mistake. Ask yourself: “Who am I talking to and what does this person want to hear from me?” By answering it, you will understand how to build your apology.
Earn Respect
For some reason, many people think that being a punching bag is The best way please management. I hope you understand that this is not the case. This may work in some cases (if your boss had a difficult childhood), but the best way to earn the love of your boss is to earn real respect. This means working hard, avoiding office gossip and talking about nothing, and also accepting adequate criticism. Being a nice person (the first point) is also correct, but these are two fundamentally different approaches. If you don't give offense and respect yourself, then your bosses will do the same.
Master the art of looking busy
Sometimes, in order to be ahead, you need to apply a little trick. And in our case, that means becoming a master at the art of looking busy even when you're not. We're not talking about shirking work or lying. But you need to let your boss know that you are a busy person and are constantly working on something.
Give useful feedback
Again, if your boss is not a fiend, then he will only be happy with an honest one. But when you are asked about it, don't try to pour out all your complaints. Find out exactly what your boss needs. Don't adapt to him and don't say what he wants to hear. If he wants to know how you are doing new project, don't try to talk about how his team spends too much time at lunch. You're not a sneak, are you?
Do the job 100%. Even if you hate your boss
Sometimes it doesn't matter how you do your job. A bad boss won't get any better. If you are in this situation, I really feel sorry for you. In this case best advice will build up armor and not pay too much attention to hysterics, unjustified criticism and attacks from superiors.
And the most important thing! Don't let us pry into your personal life. Don't take your work home and don't take it out on people around you. Instead, think about how you can improve your situation. Or maybe, well, her?
We all want to be valued and considered indispensable at work. But respect is not a given - it must be earned. No matter how long (or recently) you've been working under your manager, what can you do to make them value your contributions to the job? What is the best way to earn his or her trust? And how do you earn respect if you feel like you lack it?
What the experts say
A recent HBR study of nearly 20,000 employees worldwide found that the most important thing employees want from managers is respect. “If you don't feel respected, you won't put your heart into your work,” says Linda Hill, a Harvard Business School professor and co-author of It's Hard to Be the Boss. Models of successful leadership." According to Michael Watkins, chairman of Genesis Advisers and professor at IMD, managerial respect comes in many forms. It starts with being seen as “the person to keep on your team.” You are then thought of as an employee who deserves "interesting and challenging assignments" and, finally, as a subordinate whom the manager "wants to promote and develop because he is confident of his bright future." Wanting respect is one thing, but getting it is another. Here are some possible strategies.
Be clear about your responsibilities
The first step in “scoring points” with your boss is, of course, to do your job and do it well. To achieve this, you must have a "clear understanding of what your most important" tasks are and "how they fit into your boss's agenda," Watkins says. In the first days and weeks of new job he suggests asking your manager, “What do I need to learn and how can I do it the fastest?” Then you need to do everything in your power “to show that you're gaining momentum quickly,” he says. “Being perceived as easy to train can be a big boost to your credibility.” Even if you've been in your role for a long time, you should regularly clarify your role and key responsibilities, says Hill. "Your goal is to stay on the same page with your boss so you know where to focus your time and attention," she states.
Adapt
To become a valued and trusted employee, you need to "figure out what the best way to communicate with your manager is," says Watkins. “It is your responsibility to adjust your style to his.” Ask your manager what type of communication he prefers. What's better: Email, text messages or face-to-face meetings? How often does he want to communicate with you? Once a week? Once a day? Only as needed? Ask how much he wants to go into detail. Does he want you to be driven primarily by analytics or intuition? If you and your boss don't have the same style (you check your inbox every hour, but she doesn't open it for days), you should initiate "an open conversation in which each party explains their behavior," Hill says. “Help your manager understand your point of view and the challenges of changing your style” as it relates to your ability to be productive. "Discuss the situation and make a joint decision about what you will do about it," she says.
Be observant and empathic
To earn your boss's respect, "you need to understand what's important to him," Hill explains. She recommends paying serious attention to "your boss's priorities and concerns." And make them your priorities not out of servility, but by showing empathy. It's also important to remember that "your manager is looking for evidence that you can be trusted—that he can rely on you," says Hill. Try to figure out how to earn his trust “and set the stage for your success” by making careful observations. Develop your understanding of your organization's "priorities, constraints, and internal politics" by figuring out who the boss trusts, who he listens to, and where tensions arise. Your goal is not to get involved in behind-the-scenes games, but to “understand political issues.”
Build relationships with other people
Express disagreement (politely and one-on-one)
“Avoiding conflict with your manager won't earn you respect,” Hill says. “The boss must be sure that you are a mountain for him,” but at the same time he needs to know when “the king is naked.” For example, if you are convinced that your team will not cope with the project within the time frame proposed by the boss, tell him about it - in a personal conversation and politely. Don't blast the manager with this news in front of everyone - it may look like disloyalty. Hill advises viewing your relationship as a partnership. “If you and I are partners, you will keep me from making mistakes.” After all, “you have access to different information than the boss,” which makes your opinion and perspective quite valuable. “You need to be brave enough to voice your disagreement to your manager.”
Ask for feedback
No matter how great your results are, you cannot force your boss to recognize your achievements. According to Watkins, some managers are simply not inclined to do this. "The recognition you receive will be an exact product of the quality of your work and your boss's propensity to recognize accomplishments," he says. Still, even if your manager tends to be more reserved in his evaluations, there is a difference between “publicly recognizing your accomplishments” and “giving honest and candid feedback about how productive you are.” You have a responsibility to ask your boss, “How am I doing? What should I do more and what should I do less? Watkins argues that new employees in particular “often receive less feedback initially because there is some reluctance” to criticize someone who is just “getting their feet on the ground.” “As a result, people can easily end up on the wrong path.”
Think about it
"It's not very nice to be disrespected," Hill says. “If you feel like your rights are being infringed upon and your manager doesn’t respect you as a person,” this is a problem that needs to be brought to the attention of the HR department. But don't jump to conclusions, she advises. It is possible that your boss is arguing with you and doubting you not out of a lack of respect, but “because he does not fully understand what you are facing.” In this case, she says, it is your responsibility to “educate your boss” and “show him all the cards” about the specifics of your job and the challenges associated with it. “Your boss can’t read minds. You're both responsible for making your relationship work, Watkins concludes. “You shouldn’t let the situation get to the point where you’re banging your fist on the table and demanding respect.” But if you don't feel valued, he advises asking yourself why. “Ask yourself: Am I doing a good enough job? Maybe I'm being obsequious? Have I set the necessary boundaries? It all starts with you."
Principles to Remember
What to do:
- Adapt your work and communication style to that of your manager.
- Give a helping hand to your colleagues. The most useful question you can ask is “How can I help?”
- Build a partnership with your boss. You have a shared responsibility for making the relationship work.
What not to do:
- Don't be discouraged if your boss doesn't give you public recognition. Instead, ask for feedback by asking, “What should I do more or less of?”
- Don't neglect internal politics and the culture of your organization; Find out who the boss trusts, who he listens to, and where the main tensions occur.
- Don't avoid conflict with your manager. If you disagree, say so - privately and politely.
Case No. 1. Understand your boss’s priorities and adapt to his communication style
When Whitney McCarthy started working as a communications manager for Rizepoint, a compliance software company based in Salt Lake City, she was determined to work hard and earn the respect of her boss, whom we'll call Lucy.
Whitney's first priority was to be clear about what her responsibilities were. On her first day on the job, Lucy gave Whitney a long list that explained the six main points of her job and the actions she needed to take immediately. “This note has been my guiding light and every month, with Lucy's help, I update it in the same six-point format,” says Whitney.
Lucy also held a meeting with Whitney and the rest of the team. “The goal was to discuss what area each of us is responsible for, to avoid confusion about the budget and expected results,” she says.
Whitney's second priority became to quickly "get high" in priority areas—which included public relations, in which she had very little experience. Whitney had a lot to learn, and she wanted to show how quickly she grasps information. She subscribed to an online PR magazine, downloaded government acts on the topic, and carefully studied the PR strategies of other software companies.
“My goal was not to ask Lucy a lot of questions,” she says. - I demonstrated my new knowledge: I created a press release a few weeks after joining and presented it to the CEO ready plan in public relations in his first month."
Another point in Whitney's plan was to figure out how best to work with Lucy. She asked Lucy about her preferred communication style and what information she wanted to know about Whitney's work. Whitney then tried to fit in with her boss. “Those details that Lucy didn’t want to get into, like social media posts, I made sure to include in my weekly productivity report so she had an overview of how I was doing,” she says.
To find out what style of communication with Lucy is preferable, Whitney asked colleagues who had worked with her boss for a long time. "They gave me some useful tips- for example, this: if you come to her to discuss a problem, it is better to already have a proposal on hand to solve it.”
Whitney is confident that she has earned Lucy's respect. Three times the boss noted in a letter how pleasant she was to work together; Whitney always receives the maximum bonus (depending on Lucy's decision) and also won the title of "Most Valuable Player" in her first quarter with the company.
Case No. 2. Show your manager that he can rely on you and be open to feedback
Karen Schneider, a project manager in the alcohol industry, says she always earns her boss's respect by finding as many ways as possible to be helpful. "My job is to make my boss's life easier, first and foremost by doing a good job, of course, but also by relieving stress where possible."
At Karen's last job, Susan's boss had weekly one-on-one meetings with her employees. Karen always knew when Susan had some problems that Karen could help solve, that is, the manager was sure that she could always count on her. Very often the boss's answer was "yes." “And even if there were no assignments, I know that my desire to help was highly appreciated,” she says. “Susan knew she could count on me, that I was eager to learn a lot.”
Karen also actively sought feedback from Susan. “For the first two or three weeks at the new place, I asked for it at the end of each week, and as time went on we started meeting once a month,” she explains. “My success is in my hands, and I felt that Susan liked my enthusiasm and that she respected me even more for it.”
One day, Susan gave Karen constructive criticism about how she was organizing a project. “It was done in a kind way that allowed me to see the potential for doing a better job in the future,” she says.
Karen was grateful to Susan and tried to take her opinion into account in the next project. “It's important to accept criticism with the same openness as praise, and that's what I think earned me Susan's recognition.”
Karen says that Susan often personally thanked her for her work on specific projects, and once even gave her a gift for a special Good work. “It’s not like I was being trumpeted throughout the organization, but being recognized for my accomplishments meant a lot to me,” she says.
Rebecca Knight
Each of us wants everyone around us to love and understand us. At the same time, we ourselves sympathize and become attached only to some, but we simply treat the rest with respect.
According to explanatory dictionary, respect is a respectful attitude towards a person, based on recognition of the merits, merits and personal qualities of a person. In theory, everyone has something for which they can be respected. But in the real world, not everyone succeeds in gaining respect. How to make everyone respect you?
You need to start only with yourself. If you don't respect yourself, why should others respect you? A person's low self-esteem and self-doubt are the most terrible enemies. Disrespect for oneself is expressed primarily in “licking up” to other people in order to prove to them one’s importance and independence. If you are insulted, and you are silent, you do not respect yourself.
What can and should you be respected for?
Initially, determine in yourself what you can and should be respected for. Maybe it's your sharp and precise mind, or your unsurpassed sense of humor, or your ability to cook deliciously, or professional quality? There are many options. Most importantly, you want to find them yourself. But still, if you have something to respect, do not overdo it. Self-confidence and self-confidence are very different things.
Well, you have found something to respect yourself for. Now learn to respect others. No one will respect you if they know that you don't respect them. Very often this problem occurs in people with leadership position- bosses, teachers, directors - to their subordinates, students. You can make someone fear you, but you cannot make someone respect you. If you shout and intimidate, you will alienate people. But calmness and confidence are the opposite.
You definitely need to give compliments to the people around you, please and praise them, noting their achievements. It often happens that it is more difficult to rejoice at the achievements of others than to empathize with their troubles. It will definitely be appreciated. You can also gain respect by being open and friendly. You should always be friendly.
You cannot allow other people to manipulate and disrespect you. If they laugh at you or are rude to you, defend yourself, fight back the insolent person. But you shouldn’t fall to his level, i.e. don’t respond to rudeness with rudeness, to a scream with a scream, etc. The main thing is self-confidence and inner peace. You need to politely, as if distinguishing yourself from the offender, tell him what doesn’t suit you. And when in response he wants to be rude to you, it will look funny and even pathetic. Therefore, all eyewitnesses of this conflict will respect you.
Respect must be earned through deeds. For example, no one will respect you right away at your new workplace. Everything will come with time - with experience and professionalism. You have to work long hours, work hard. But it is worth understanding what your professional limit is today. Therefore, do not aim at unrealistic goals in your work. Study, read, but you should not demonstrate your knowledge against the background of your colleagues’ ignorance.
Some people want to gain respect while still wanting to please everyone. But it's impossible to be nice to everyone. Sooner or later, people will understand that you are wearing a mask of duplicity, and you yourself understand how this will turn out. Express your opinion openly, but be polite when doing so. There is no need to furiously and passionately scream and swear, trying to prove your thoughts. If someone has a different point of view than you, this does not mean that it is wrong.
It's not difficult to make people respect you. You just need to try a little. But here hold and increase respect is more difficult. And losing it is very easy and fast. Therefore, first think, and then act, calculating all the possible consequences of your actions.
Throughout his life, a person interacts with society in one way or another and builds relationships with people around him. In childhood, friendship, as a rule, is born on the basis of mutual interests and hobbies, however, growing up, we begin to evaluate the people around us by their actions, and they, in turn, evaluate us according to the same principle.
How to earn the respect of others? Every person wants to be respected, and will never knowingly commit acts that spoil his reputation. But, due to various complexes and internal uncertainty, it happens that a person does not know how to “apply” himself correctly, because of which people do not take his words and actions seriously. This creates a lot of difficulties, especially when it comes to relationships in the team. Psychologists working in the field of interpersonal relations have been able to identify several main factors that affect how we are perceived by the people around us.
Do you want to gain respect for yourself and increase your authority in the eyes of the team? Then you need to familiarize yourself with the main tips of the world's leading psychologists and try to immediately start using them in your life.
1. Take up as much free space as possible
An insecure person subconsciously wants to hide, hide and not interfere with others. In real life, this manifests itself in the habit of sitting on the edge of a chair or armchair, as well as staying close to the wall or front door. And even if the people around you do not master the methods of in-depth psychological analysis, on a subconscious level they perceive this habit as an inability to defend their positions. Therefore, when communicating with colleagues or superiors, psychologists recommend sitting on the entire surface of the chair, while keeping your back straight. If you are having a conversation while standing, try to take a position in the center of the room, opposite the interlocutor.
2. Speak slowly but clearly
Many people, due to their emotionality, like to jabber, proving their point of view to their opponent. Most often, this habit appears in early childhood, when the child tries to attract the attention of busy parents by quickly telling them about exciting events. However, if you are worried about how to gain respect in a team, you need to learn how to convey your message slowly and clearly, otherwise the interlocutor simply will not be able to fully absorb your information. To avoid excessive emotionality in your conversation, psychologists recommend always paying attention to your breathing. During a conversation, breathing should be even and calm.
3. Don't smile during serious conversations
A sincere smile and a good-natured look are perhaps the most important components for harmonious communication in an informal setting. However, if you are currently informing your subordinates about new tasks or trying to convey an important idea to your interlocutor, conduct the dialogue without smiling, otherwise your opponents will not be able to appreciate the importance and seriousness of your speech. But, at the same time, in order to achieve respect and good human relations, you don’t need to constantly play the role “ snow queen" End your monologue with a good-natured smile and an unobtrusive joke that will relieve your interlocutors of unnecessary stress.
4. Help without unnecessary emotionality
Sooner or later, every person may find himself in a difficult situation when he simply needs outside physical, moral or material help. As a rule, the desire to help is almost always accompanied by a great emotional message. Together with help, we try to prove to the person why it happened one way or another, open his eyes to his mistakes and tell him about his own experience. But more often than not, when a person finds himself in trouble, he only needs specific help, be it financial or moral support. Therefore, if you can help a person with deeds, help, but do it without unnecessary emotionality, which will bring negative colors to your good deed.
5. Fewer gestures - more peace of mind
How to make yourself respected - perhaps this question is most of all interested in leaders and people whose work is connected with public meetings and speeches. According to psychologists, excessive gestures and unnecessary body movements distract listeners from that main idea, which you are trying to convey, and, moreover, betray your doubts and insecurities. During interviews, presentations and reports, try to gesture as little as possible and be sure to get rid of the habit of fiddling with a ring or pen in your hands, straightening clothes and hair.
6. Watch your posture and hands
To gain the respect of others, it is enough to learn one simple psychological technique: never slouch or squeeze your shoulders, because... on a subconscious level, this is regarded by others as a sign of weakness and uncertainty. In addition, during a serious conversation, you should not cross your legs and arms, since these gestures are regarded as a desire to quickly end the conversation and hide.
7. React to the words of the interlocutor
Quite often, having lost the thread of the conversation with the interlocutor, we become immersed in our own thoughts, listening to him with half an ear. However, this inattention may be seen by a colleague or boss as a sign of disrespect and neglect. Therefore, when conducting a dialogue, even if it turns into a monologue by your opponent, try to react to his words from time to time with a nod or a smile. But at the same time, keep in mind that this reaction should be appropriate.
8. Maintain a zone of personal space
Human psychology is structured in such a way that in order to feel comfortable, he must always be in his personal space. The boundaries of this zone are determined by the proximity of people. Naturally, if relatives or close people are nearby, this does not cause discomfort. However, if the personal space zone is violated by unfamiliar people or colleagues, most likely, subconsciously this fact will cause anxiety and aggression in the person towards the intruder. So if you care about being respected at work, don't get closer than arm's length to your co-workers and bosses.
9. Keep eye contact
A person will not be able to believe the words of his interlocutor if at that moment he does not see his gaze. However, at the same time, a gaze is subconsciously regarded as a challenge or threat. It is best to alternate between direct eye contact and unobtrusive looking away to the side during a conversation. However, when delivering the most important informational points, try to keep the person in direct eye contact.
10. Be sincere
In addition, there is one more rule, thanks to which you will certainly achieve the favor and respect of others. And that rule is sincerity. Try in any, even the most controversial situations express your true thoughts and intentions.
Irina Davydova
Reading time: 7 minutes
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New job - new life. And this means that you will have to gain authority in the team again. Employee respect doesn't come naturally. We must try to ensure that the team accepts the newcomer - or, what is even more difficult, to recognize him as an unspoken leader.
- The first rule is to always look good. They meet, as they say by clothes, only see off according to the mind. Therefore, everything is important - hair, shoes, makeup. At work, you should pack as carefully as you would on a date. After all, everyone knows that it is more pleasant to work with neat and well-dressed people than with sloppy, dirty people.
- Try to be confident. Speak loudly and clearly. Don't mumble or jabber. Your speech should be calm and confident. And be sure to smile at people!
- When talking to new colleagues, look them in the eyes - this emphasizes your interest in communication and suggests that you are not shy in front of them. If you cannot do this, then look at the point between the eyebrows or on the bridge of the nose. And the interlocutor will think that you are looking straight into their eyes.
- Try to remember names. Contact us immediately by first name or patronymic. After all, it has long been known that the most pleasant sounds for a person are the sounds of his name.
- Be friendly and sociable. Get involved in conversations, share your knowledge and opinions.
- Don't allow yourself to be rude and rude. Some people need to be bold towards other people to maintain a sense of confidence. This bad habit ruined more than one person's life. If you have one, then fight it.
- Take up more space. An insecure person is revealed by his modest location in space. He sits on the edge of the chair, tries not to disturb anyone, his elbows are pressed, his legs are crossed under the chair. Remember how you behave in pleasant company. And try to take the same poses.
- Maintain your posture and gesticulate less. If you are a leader, then this should be your first rule. After all, a boss should look like a boss—seriously, personably and boldly.
- Be sincere. Even if you need to embellish something to make the right impression, don't do it. This will give you a bad reputation.
- Don't promise what you can't deliver. Keep your word always and everywhere. Otherwise, you can be branded as a talker.
- In any work process, there are moments when your help may be needed. This is fine. But, helping colleagues, don't make it too emotional . Such complete dedication may look like sycophancy to some people. And others may feel that you consider them incompetent employees or simply stupid people. After all, only small children who don’t know how to do anything are so joyfully helped.
- Learn to refuse tactfully - so as not to offend the person. After all, due to the fact that it is inconvenient to say “no”, you may not have time to complete the task assigned to you. Politely apologize or offer to help after you've done what your boss told you to do. Read also:
- If you are a leader, it is very important to learn how to protect your subordinates and defend their interests. This does not mean that you will constantly indulge them. So what you think about them, create them Better conditions labor. Show you care from the first day of work!
- Work conscientiously. If the newcomer is lazy, then the entire team understands that the unfulfilled volumes will fall on their shoulders. And no one wants to overexert themselves.
- Constantly learn, develop as a specialist, a leader and simply as a person . There is no limit to perfection, and your desire to grow will be appreciated.
- In the first days, do some reconnaissance — take a closer look at the team. Who is friends with whom, what are the conversations about, what kind of people are here.
- Every team has gossipers. You shouldn’t join them, but you shouldn’t wage war with them either. Because either way you will lose. The best option- listen to the person and leave under a valid pretext. Under no circumstances should you discuss the news you hear with anyone. After all, the ideal way to combat gossip is to completely ignore it.
- Participate in community life – it strengthens the team. If everyone is going to a restaurant, a theater, a movie, or a community cleanup, go with them.
- Don't try to please everyone - it's impossible . Be yourself. Because individuals with their own opinions and way of thinking are valued everywhere.
- Learn to enjoy other people's successes. This emphasizes your friendliness.
- Take criticism appropriately . You need to listen to her, and if you do not agree, calmly express your opinion. But don’t shout, don’t get personal, and don’t get offended.
- Accept people as they are . You should not impose your opinion, your ways of solving problems and organizing work moments. Everyone decides for themselves how to live and how to work.
- Determine right away who you report to. And follow the instructions of only superior people. Since in almost any team there are those who like to boss around newcomers.
- Try not to show excitement - breathe deeply.
- Don't act like a bore or a know-it-all. The first few days, simplicity will not hurt.
- Don't reveal yourself completely to your colleagues. And this rule applies not only to beginners. Not everyone needs to know what problems you have at home, what your relationship with your husband and children is like. Why wash dirty linen in public? There is a world into which there is no entry for outsiders. Let your colleagues know only about your marital status.
- Don't engage in idle chatter in the workplace. The sad fact is that instead of completing assigned tasks, chatterboxes come to work just to chat. They try to fire these employees as soon as possible. Neither their bosses nor their colleagues like them.
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