A friend calls, you need to see the PC, something is junk. Arrived, checked, tweaked, everything worked OK. Left. Call. "Hello?" "Well, you're an asshole, thank you..." further selective mat, an opinion about what a bad person I am and the question is why did YOU break my PC!? Everything flashes, I press the buttons and the monitor does not light up! YOU broke! O_o I specify what and where is blinking. It turns out that after my departure, he left the PC and he "fell asleep". I tried to press the buttons on the keyboard - it does not turn on. And pressing Power on the system unit is not destiny. He suggested where to press and swore to help him more.
Second. At work, we can take a maximum of 1.5 bets. If Sasha wants 2 bets, then he writes for 0.5, now he already has 1.5 bets and asks Vanya to write for 0.5. Vanya receives the money and gives it to Sasha. For "anxiety", Sasha makes a symbolic rollback for Vanya from each paycheck :) And it pulled me to contact one type - he says, write another application for 0.5 rates, and I will work. It's not difficult for me. I receive a salary, I give it to him. Received 3200, gave 3000, owes 200. The next time I received 3300, I gave 3500, maybe 200 should have been. So they worked until the contract expired. And in the end, when this guy left, he told everyone that I took 300-400 rubles from each of HIS salaries. O_o it was a good lesson for me how to subscribe to financial affairs. Not anymore.
Third story. Then I studied at the university. Granny is walking, carrying bags. Can I help you? Oh, if not difficult. We walked about 300 meters, reached it, I put my bags on the porch at the entrance to the entrance, granny climbed for the chip from the intercom, and I pricked up home. Grandma is here
- Shame on you! Give me back my wallet!
At first I did not understand who she was talking to. And she looks again and says:
- Give me your wallet! It was in the bag, and now it's gone! YOU carried the bag and pulled it out! O_o I'll call the police!
I didn't have to call because the office was next door. Well, let's go to where the granny immediately told the duty officer that I had robbed her. And the duty officer teased - so if he robbed, why did he come with you. He said to wait for the policeman. The district police officer listened to our versions, I showed that I had a phone in my pocket and 500 rubles. Grandma immediately squealed:
- my, my money! Robbed!
The policeman sighed and suggested that the wallet might have fallen out while the bags were being dragged. Grandma stood her ground.
- Robbed! This is my money!
Investigator:
- So you have a wallet, or the money is gone?
Grandma repeated like a mantra:
- This is my money, give it back.
The district police officer sighed, asked where the granny had last seen the purse, and ordered us to follow him. Going out into the street, I saw that the same grandmother was spinning near the granny’s entrance, seeing the victim, she began to wail:
- Alexandrovna! On the! You forgot in my store! And he gives her the wallet...
Precinct:
- All? Missing found?
Granny:
- A wallet, yes, but those 500 rubles that he has in his pocket are mine!
The district police officer turned around and went to the department, passing me, quietly muttered
- stammered...
Then they told me that the grannies from this house simply lived in this department, visiting there 3-4 times a day - they steal newspapers, then someone else’s cat climbed in, then Pyatrovna was kidnapped, she doesn’t answer calls and so on and so forth ... Many years later, after reading all sorts of stories, I think that in the third story I was still very lucky ...
Often we hear from people disappointed in life: "Do not do good - you will not get evil." Why is everything like this? What offended those who think so? We will understand in this article whether this aphorism is true.
Good and evil: absolute and relative concepts
It is difficult to deny that “Good” and “Evil” are categories, on the one hand, absolute (if we think about God and the devil), and on the other hand, relative (if we take into account the specific actions of people).
When a person reads fairy tales, he can easily distinguish evil from good. Beyond the obvious, villains usually look the part. In real life, everything is more complicated: friends betray, wives leave, parents leave (sometimes they simply ignore). In other words, distinguishing evil from good is not so easy, especially at first when everything is fine.
Imagine a boy meets a girl, then they get married, they may have children, and he (or she) leaves. The partner, left alone, sadly says: "Do not do good - you will not get evil." Thus, he perceives the whole past married life as some merit of his own and as a realm of perfect goodness. But we know that just like that, husbands and wives do not run away from anyone, right?
You can't be grateful forever
People have a selective memory: a person remembers well his merits and good deeds, but easily forgets about the evil that he causes to others. For example, a wife leaves her husband. He says: "Oh, do not do good - you will not get evil." The husband remembers well that he worked hard for the good of the family, bought an apartment, a fur coat for his wife, but completely forgot that he did not pay any attention to her during this period, often stayed at work on “non-labor issues” and much more. These are all the tricks of his memory, she decided to hide all this so as not to injure the psyche and not lower self-esteem.
The wife, in turn, can remember how she was in the kitchen, around the house, and he did not even pay attention to it. Therefore, she can also say the phrase “do not do good - you will not get evil” before leaving for another or simply leaving her husband.
The case described here can include any couple: parents and children, friends.
Parents and children
Imagine authoritarian parents. They decide what to drink for the child, what to eat, what to wear, where to go to study, with whom to be friends, and then suddenly, when the time of student life begins, their blessed child, breaking off the leash, arranges a doomsday for the parents. Parents can only be puzzled to say: “Do not do good to people - you will not get evil,” and cry bitterly. And the most interesting thing is that their tears will be completely sincere.
They did not understand that throughout their lives they simply crippled the soul of their child, all the time telling him how to live, with whom to be friends and what to wear, and now that the child has gained courage and strength from the “symmetrical answer”, his reaction seems to be the closest ancestors of cosmic injustice and the same amazing phenomenon like +40 in winter in Murmansk. But it turns out that everything has a reason.
Alyoshkina love: an extraordinary interpretation of the song
Everyone (or many) knows the song: "They say it's ugly to beat off girls from your friends ...". And all the suffering of the singer is from the fact that he does not want to lose either a friend or a loved one. He is afraid that Alyoshka will say: “If you don’t want to get evil, don’t do good.”
The hero's fears are justified, but here you have to make a choice: either love or friendship. This is a very difficult and nasty, disgusting dilemma, but life is sometimes a very vile thing.
Earring (let the singer be called that) with Alyoshka, perhaps, went through fire, and water, and copper pipes. One pulled the other out of various troubles more than once, but then Love (or simply Lyuba) came, and that's it - you need to make a fateful choice. A friend, if he is real, will understand and forgive. He just needs time.
Linguistic turn
We looked at various situations where the proverb "do no good - you will not get evil" is used. Now it's time to specify its meaning specifically. As it is easy to understand from the examples, this proverb is present in the dictionary of those people who consider themselves righteous and benefactors. They believe that they saturate the world with exclusively good, and either evil or nothing returns to them.
In a sense, such people are the type of modern-day Job who kneels with his hands and eyes turned to heaven and asks: “Why me, Lord? But why?" But in the course of our not too extensive research, we realized that this is only a posture and a bad memory. There are no righteous people. No at all good people, there are people with bad memories and hard hearts when it comes to other people's suffering and problems.
M. M. Zhvanetsky and folk wisdom
Michal Mikhalych has a wonderful phrase: “The slave says:“ They are to blame for the fact that I ... ”. A free man says: “It is my fault that I…” Feel the difference? When we want to calm our conscience and convince ourselves and others of our own sinlessness, then the saying “do not do good - you will not get evil” comes to mind. If we suddenly become conscious and excessively advanced Homo sapiens, then we use another aphorism that is more suitable in this situation for spiritual support. Perhaps something from the heritage of existential philosophical thought, if the work of Michal Mikhalych does not suit him.
Why can't you think the way the proverb says?
When we throw off responsibility for what is happening to us, then, on the one hand, we put on the costume of a victim, and on the other hand, we recognize that we are only puppets in the hands of fate. Perhaps the last statement is true, but a person should not think so. Such a way of thinking irreparably harms the building of a harmonious life, which even on earth, contrary to the opinion of bilious critics, is quite possible.
Man can arrange everything in the best way only if he is ready to answer for his every action, regardless of whether it is true or false. That is the only way to come to light. And you should not be afraid of pain, because only through suffering is the truth revealed. If the truths are important, they are like injections, very painful. Medicines are also nasty and nasty, but they help a person to live and breathe, and life is a great gift. At least that's what some people think. If a person is not too sure that life is so wonderful, then medicines allow him to at least watch some more films and read some more books, and, of course, work for the good of society.
You might think that we are a little off topic, but we are not. All this is included in the orbit of the theme "Do not do good - you will not get evil: the meaning of the saying." Folk aphorisms are as follows: they awaken many associations, thoughts and feelings that must certainly be touched upon. All this must be discussed in the necessary way so that there is no understatement.
And finally. It is better to replace the saying “do not do good - you will not get evil” with something like: “if I was treated badly, then it was me and only I made a mistake.” It is important to say here that such behavior has nothing to do with the Christian thought of two bruised cheeks. If you were treated meanly, then you must draw certain conclusions about the person who treated you badly and correct own shortcomings and shortcomings so that this will never happen again forever and ever. Amen.
Having opened his heart to a person, it happens that he turns his back on you. Our good deeds are not noticed by people, because when you have a desire to help someone, they will never appreciate it. Being in such a situation, one involuntarily asks the question: "What is my fault? Where is my mistake?. Why does it come out like this? This instructive parable will answer this question.
One fine day, a girl knocked on the door of the old man, she wept bitterly and told the sage the story of her grief.
“I have no idea how to live in this world…” she said with excitement in her voice. – Throughout my life, I treated people the way I wanted to treat myself, I was honest and open to them ... In any case, I carried kindness and warmth, without asking for a response, I provided all possible assistance. I did not really think about self-interest, but in response I received chuckles and slander. I feel very bad, I feel overwhelmed and depressed ... Please tell me what should I do?
The wise man listened patiently and then gave the girl advice:
Strip naked and walk completely naked through the streets of the city,” the old man said calmly.
I'm sorry, but I haven't gotten to that point yet... You must be crazy or kidding! If I do this, I don’t know what to expect from passers-by ... You look, someone else will dishonor or abuse me ...
The sage suddenly got up, opened the door and placed a mirror on the table.
You are ashamed to go out into the street naked, but for some reason you are not at all ashamed to walk through the world with a naked soul, open like this door, wide open. You let everyone there who is not lazy. Your soul is a mirror, which is why we all see ourselves reflected in other people. Their soul is full of evil and vices - they see just such an ugly picture when they look into your pure soul. They lack the strength and courage to admit that you are better than them and change. Unfortunately, this is only for the truly brave...
What should I do? How can I change this situation if, in fact, nothing depends on me? - asked the beauty.
Come on, come with me, I'll show you something... Look, this is my garden. For many years now I have been watering these flowers of unprecedented beauty and taking care of them. To be honest, I have never seen the buds of these flowers bloom. All that I had to contemplate are beautiful blooming flowers that beckon with their beauty and fragrant aroma.
Child, learn from nature. Look at these wonderful flowers and do as they do - open your heart to people carefully so that no one even notices. Open your heart to good people. Get away from those who cut off your petals, throw them under your feet and trample on them. These weeds haven't grown up to you yet, so you can't help them. In you, they will only see an ugly reflection of themselves.
Be interesting with
“Doing good - do it constantly!. And yes, the batteries run out...
If you are a naturally kind person, then you probably know Golden Rule: "Do not do good - you will not get evil." Unfortunately, it works almost always, but why does it happen? If this question at least once appeared in your head, then I strongly advise you to read this parable, in it you will find the answer, and most importantly, you will understand how to live with the injustice of the world.
One day, a young stranger knocked on the door of the old sage, who, bursting into tears, told the old man her story.
I don’t know how I can continue to live ... - she said with trepidation in her voice. - All my life I have treated people the way I would like them to treat me, I was sincere with them and opened my soul to them ... If possible, I tried to do good to everyone, not expecting anything in return, I helped as much as I could. I really did all this for free, but in return I received evil and ridicule. I am hurt to the point of pain and I am simply tired ... I beg you, tell me, what should I do?
The wise man listened patiently and then gave the girl advice:
Strip naked and walk completely naked through the streets of the city,” the old man said calmly.
I'm sorry, but I haven't gotten to that point yet... You must be crazy or kidding! If I do this, I don’t know what to expect from passers-by ... You look, someone else will dishonor or abuse me ...
The sage suddenly got up, opened the door and placed a mirror on the table.
You are ashamed to go out into the street naked, but for some reason you are not at all ashamed to walk through the world with a naked soul, open like this door, wide open. You let everyone there who is not lazy. Your soul is a mirror, which is why we all see ourselves reflected in other people. Their soul is full of evil and vices - they see just such an ugly picture when they look into your pure soul. They lack the strength and courage to admit that you are better than them and change. Unfortunately, this is only for the truly brave...
What should I do? How can I change this situation if, in fact, nothing depends on me? - asked the beauty.
Come on, come with me, I'll show you something... Look, this is my garden. For many years now I have been watering these flowers of unprecedented beauty and taking care of them. To be honest, I have never seen the buds of these flowers bloom. All that I had to contemplate are beautiful blooming flowers that beckon with their beauty and fragrant aroma.
Child, learn from nature. Look at these wonderful flowers and do as they do - open your heart to people carefully so that no one even notices. Open your heart to good people. Get away from those who cut off your petals, throw them under your feet and trample on them. These weeds haven't grown up to you yet, so you can't help them. In you, they will only see an ugly reflection of themselves.
Unfortunately, in Lately from the mouth of people who come to see a psychologist, more and more often one hears the expression: “They say the truth:“ Don’t do good, you won’t get evil. ”But it’s absolutely impossible to say that, imagine what our world would be like if all people lived by this principle .
At the same time, it is very hurt when helping someone and completely trusting him, you become a victim of deception or receive evil in gratitude. For example, taking pity on someone, the owner invites him to live with him and after a while finds himself in a situation where the relative begins to show his character, sorts things out and goes to live in another place, expressing resentment instead of gratitude. He stops communicating with the owner and tells everyone about him as about a person who has offended him and is unworthy of respect.
And so it turns out that master He wanted to do good to his relative, but in return he received evil. It is not for nothing that the expression “do not do good, you will not get evil” has taken root among the people, and it is especially relevant today, when many people try not to notice the problems of other people, and are only concerned about their own well-being.
For simplicity of presentation meaning of this expression, as an example, consider the development of man. After birth, the child is completely dependent on the mother, although he himself is not yet aware of this. While the mother takes care of him and is on maternity leave, the baby takes the care of the mother for granted. But now the mother goes to work, and takes the child to kindergarten. Naturally, the child does not like this course of events, he cries and realizes the absence of his mother, as in the first evil in his life. But in the evening, the mother comes to pick him up, and the baby rejoices, enjoying her return. Thus, for the first time, he learns that the return of his mother is good.
However, now Baby fears that the evil may repeat itself. He becomes more aware of his needs and tries to prevent evil at all costs, but he loves to have fun. This leads to the development of egoism in him, but so far only spontaneous childishness. A little later, a person develops reasonable egoism, he begins to understand that he is not alone in striving for pleasure and involuntarily begins to compare himself with other people. He sees that someone manages to live well, and someone is deprived of life. Thus, a person develops empathy and sympathy.
Due to the features education in some people, these feelings turn into altruism - a willingness to disinterestedly do good to people, regardless of their own interests. An altruist, doing good, does not look for any material benefit for himself and is guided in his actions only by mercy and compassion. So, to understand the meaning of the expression: "Do not do good, you will not receive evil," one must be an altruist in one's soul. When doing good, one does not need to demand either from man or from God his return. After all, many do good and expect self-giving. If the "barter exchange" does not work out, then the person regrets that he did a favor to another person to the detriment of his own interests. He thinks that he received evil for the good done to him.
According to statistics altruists only 10% in the world, and the remaining 90% of people living on the planet can consider themselves selfish. Healthy selfishness prevents us from doing much good to others in order not to compromise our well-being and the survival of family members. Of course, many of us are ready to help a person in trouble, but altruists themselves try to find those who need help and surround them with care and attention. They are worried about everything: the ecological situation, sick children, lonely old people, the extinction of rare animals and everything else that can harm human health and life. Today, altruists become volunteers, helping lonely old people and orphans, sick animals and everyone who finds themselves in a difficult life situation. At all times, the foundations of society were entirely based on the concept of altruists, because their behavior and way of life is beneficial to the state and the people themselves.
But not always gratuitous help can be deservedly appreciated by others. For example, how many people every day are saved from death by doctors, and instead of gratitude, they often hear words of accusation addressed to them.
To help people - professional duty a doctor, but you don’t need to impose your help on everyone if you don’t work and no one asks you about it. Forcibly imposed goodness is an unpleasant intrusion into someone else's life. For example, many parents continue to help their adult children financially, although they already earn good money and do not need them. Doing good, they unconsciously try to make their children dependent, so that they are always grateful to them and respond with kindness for kindness. But children have their own family, they try, following the example of their parents, to provide for their children first, and they visit elderly parents as far as possible.
For this reason, there are often conflicts between generations, where parents blame their children with the words: "we helped you, and now you help." But only a disinterested manifestation of good necessarily returns to a person. That is, if you want to help people - help, but do not impose your help on them unnecessarily. And when you do a good deed, immediately forget it and don't tell anyone about it again. After all, all people want to look successful and independent, and they cannot stand pity and patronage towards themselves.
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