Many people mistakenly believe that having taken a leadership position, you can relax and just enjoy life. In fact, the boss is a responsible and serious position that requires maximum concentration from a person. In addition to performing their direct duties, the leader will also have to establish contacts with subordinates.
In the first weeks and even months after the appointment of a new boss, all employees of the company will look closely at the boss, analyze his words, actions, deeds, etc. That is why it is very important to build a communication strategy correctly when communicating with subordinates and know what not to say to your employees.
I don't believe that you can achieve anything just by ordering people to do this or that.
You must, figuratively speaking, take up the oar and row with them.
Harold Jenin
The power of a word
A well-chosen strategy of communication with the team will help to avoid the occurrence of many problems. A good boss should always control what and how he says, it is on this, in many respects, that the success of the joint work of the boss and the team depends.
There are many examples in history that the power of a word can convince a person to perform a certain action, deed. Therefore, the leader must, first of all, become a good speaker who can not only give orders, but also maintain the enthusiasm of his subordinates.
Forbidden phrases when communicating with subordinates
If you want to enlist the support of employees, try to exclude certain phrases and expressions from your speech:
1. "We've always done it this way"
Instead of using this dubious argument, try to make convincing arguments in favor of your point of view. Do not crush your subordinates with your authority, but on the contrary, show that you are ready to compromise and look for the right solution together.
2. "Find it out for yourself (herself)"
If an employee turned to you for help, then most likely he has already tried all possible ways to complete the task and now needs your advice.
3. "Your predecessor worked better"
This is a very offensive remark, which is sure to hurt the pride of the employee. You should not compare (at least out loud) your subordinates. Criticism should be constructive: it is best to say what exactly the employee is doing wrong than to get personal.
4. "You're lucky you were hired at all"
This phrase, uttered by the boss with the appropriate intonation, can cause only one desire in the subordinate - to look for a new place.
5. "I don't need your explanations"
Even if you are very angry and do not want to talk to an employee, find the strength to calm down and listen to him. Remember that dialogue is the path to compromise.
6. "I watch you all the time"
The boss is not the educator kindergarten, which controls every step of employees. Give your subordinates more freedom, only in this case their work will become more productive.
7. "It's a stupid idea"
You should not give such an assessment to the judgments of your colleagues (even if you really think so). Try to soften the phrase: “This is not quite what we need”, “Keep working in this direction”, etc.
8. "I knew you couldn't do it"
Before you say it out loud, think about the fact that the employee who failed the task is already having a hard time. Try not to aggravate the situation, but, on the contrary, support a subordinate whose conceit is at zero.
9. "I told you so"
The boss simply does not have the right to gloat over the work of his subordinates.
10. "Just do what you're told"
Before you say this phrase, remember that no one likes authoritarian dictators. Your position must be explained and supported by arguments.
Video: Why subordinates should not say the word WHY
Honesty - best strategy behavior in the workplace. However, this rule also has a number of exceptions. So, every employee should be careful what he says to his boss. After all, certain phrases can both help in a career and bring only trouble. Therefore, we suggest that you learn about what things you should not say to your superiors under any circumstances.
"You are not right"
Criticizing or openly pointing out the boss's mistake is a sure way to be ignored in the next meeting, even if you have something to say. If you understand that your boss is wrong, then you should communicate this in a more effective way, without embarrassing the boss and not forcing him to make excuses.
"I can't"
Bosses really appreciate employees who are always confident in their abilities. If you answer the request of the boss that you cannot fulfill it, then this indicates your inability to do your job well or unwillingness to bother yourself.
"It's not my responsibility"
As a rule, most employees sometimes have to perform functions that are not contained in their job description. And that's okay. After all, it is impossible to foresee all possible scenarios in a document. Therefore, you should not respond to the request of your boss to do something by declaring that this does not apply to your work in any way. After all, the boss expects his employees to be flexible and willing to work for the good of the company.
"I don't know"
Of course, you cannot know the answers to absolutely all questions. However, if your boss has asked you about something about which you have little idea, then it would be better to tell him that you will soon deal with this subject and return to it with a detailed answer. After all, if you just say that you don’t know and leave with a shrug, then the boss will have to figure it out on his own, which is unlikely to make him consider you as a valuable employee.
"No"
Every boss expects co-operation and courtesy from his subordinates. Therefore, you should not refuse him in a harsh form. If you do feel the need to say no, back it up with a polite explanation of why you think it's best for you to focus on something else.
"I will try"
Many people consider this to be a perfectly acceptable answer, because we all try to do one thing or another. However, such a phrase leaves the boss feeling that you are not completely confident in your abilities, while he would like to fully rely on you.
"That's not what I heard about"
Ignore gossip and speculation - great idea, especially since otherwise you risk getting into an unpleasant situation. So if you're unsure about something, don't tell your boss about it so you don't look unprofessional. 
"What benefit will I get from this?"
Sometimes your job may involve helping colleagues in other departments. And the bosses, as a rule, perceive without much warmth those who do not consider the company's staff as one team.
"I'm sorry, but…"
Don't give your boss a series of reasons why you failed at something. Just acknowledge the mistake and tell your boss that you will be more careful and attentive in the future.
"I'm going through a tough divorce so it's hard for me to focus on work"
Everyone faces problems in their personal lives from time to time. And these moments become a test for professionalism. Your broken heart cannot be a good reason for the tasks assigned to you by the boss to recede into the background. If you really feel bad, then it is better to take a day off or even a vacation, but do not try to put your problems on the shoulders of your boss.
"I did my best"
This phrase is regarded as an excuse. If you make a mistake and assure that this is all you are capable of, then it is unlikely that your boss will have high opinion about your abilities. 
"I already tried it"
Bosses are intolerant of laziness. Therefore, if the boss offers to do something to you, then do not say that you have already tried it. After all, perhaps he looks at certain things differently.
"I'm quitting"
Don't threaten your boss with dismissal. It looks unprofessional, and you risk losing the respect of your boss after making such statements.
"I just assumed that..."
This phrase will cause more frustration for your boss than just admitting you made a mistake. After all, no one likes to hear excuses.
“In my last job, we used to do it like this”
No boss likes a know-it-all. Therefore, you need to proceed with caution, even if you are sure that there are more effective method solve one problem or another. 
"It's not my fault, but Ivanov's fault"
You should not "transfer arrows" to your colleagues. If you are truly innocent, then explain why. But do not shift the responsibility to other employees.
“If you do not give me clear instructions, then I will do as I see fit”
Don't talk to your boss in a threatening tone. It is better to wait a little and wait for instructions than to spoil the relationship, and, moreover, perhaps redo the work done.
“Your predecessor did it differently/better”
As a rule, every boss understands that he takes his position by doing his job well, and, most likely, better than his predecessor. Therefore, you should not challenge him, even if it seems to you that he is somehow wrong.
"I can't work with her/him"
Such a statement of the question is unacceptable in the collective. After all, real professionals should leave personal conflicts outside the workplace. 
"He is idiot"
The boss expects from his subordinates respect not only for himself, but also for each other. Therefore, if you speak badly about your colleagues, it will reflect badly on you first of all.
“Why does Petrova always…?”
Whining is annoying. If you want to get the same privileges as one of the employees, then ask directly about how to achieve this, and do not annoy with senseless complaints.
"I'm bored"
You were hired to be productive and carry out your duties with enthusiasm. Therefore, you should not tell your boss that you are bored.
"I want to discuss this with your boss"
As a rule, the situation when an employee challenges the authority of his direct boss is a lose-lose situation, unless you are planning to quit.
"I don't have a solution"
You should not tell your boss about problems without offering possible solutions to them.
"I have to tell you about how great I had this night"
Sometimes the boss-subordinate relationship can develop into a friendship. However, sharing intimate stories at work, even then, is not a wise move. After all, there is always the possibility that one of the colleagues will hear the conversation and interpret it differently, which will lead to rumors or more unpleasant consequences. 
"Why is Sidorov's salary higher than mine?"
Focus on your own career, not the success of others. This way you can reach your goals faster.
"I'm very busy, can it wait?"
Your responsibility as a professional is to be able to properly prioritize. Therefore, if the boss asks you to do something urgently, then you must either push some of your not-so-important tasks into the background, or explain the situation to your manager and ask to delegate the task to someone else.
"This is impossible"
A boss will never be happy to hear a negative response from his subordinate. Therefore, if you still understand that some task cannot be completed, then try to explain the situation in detail in order to push the boss to the obvious answer.
“Tomorrow I will leave work early / take the day off”
Don't talk to your boss like that. It is better to communicate your intentions politely. Say, for example: “I would like to take a day off on Monday. Would you mind?"
“Can I leave early since I have nothing to do anyway?”
It's okay to ask your boss to let you go home early. However, do not say that you want to leave because you have nothing to do at work.
In the workplace, honesty is the best policy, but there are exceptions to this rule. "It's important to watch what you say to your boss, because even the slightest mistake can change the fate of your career," says business coach Ryan Kahn. “There are obvious things you shouldn’t say to your boss, but the key is to get to the bottom of your interactions with them.” Labor expert Lynn Taylor agrees. “Some remarks and questions based on a negative point of view can get you into trouble with your boss,” she says. “If you don’t stop in time, these phrases can nullify a promising career.”
Apart from the obvious (say, swearing and insults), experts advise never to tell your boss the following things:
1. "You're wrong"
“Openly criticizing or pointing out the mistakes of superiors is a sure way to not get into the next meeting or be ignored the next time you ask for the floor,” says Rosalind Oropesa Randall, an expert in etiquette and courtesy. If you think the boss is wrong, you should do otherwise. You can say, “I may have been misinformed, but I thought…” This gives the boss a chance to think and correct himself without getting defensive.
2. "I can't"
The “must-do” attitude is always highly valued. "I can't" indicates both insecurity and risk aversion, which management doesn't like.
3. "It's not my job"
Professional duties are not holy scripture. Given the popularity of cross-functional teams, you are expected to be flexible and willing to make life easier for your boss. And by the way, the more skills you have, the more indispensable you are.
4. "I don't know"
Even if you do not know the answers to all questions, but a guess and a promise to figure it out is much better than a shrug.
5. "No"
You are expected to be cooperative and polite in tone. Saying “no” to your boss is difficult and sometimes necessary, but it is not acceptable if you do not explain the reasons for the refusal.
6. "I'll try"
Some see this as an acceptable response, since we are all “trying” to do the best we can. But such an answer leaves the boss feeling insecure, and when he gives you a task, he must be sure that you can be relied upon and you will complete the task on time.
7. "I was told differently"
Avoid rumors and speculation, as they can turn against you. If you are not sure about something, wait, otherwise you will give an unprofessional impression.
8. “And what will happen to me from this?”
At work, sometimes you need to help other people and departments. The authorities do not like those who cannot work well with the team.
9. “Excuse me, but…”
Such a clause effectively cancels out your apology. If you are guilty, it is better to say directly: “Sorry, this will not happen again.”
10. “I’m not myself after the divorce” / “I’m not in the mood today”
Everyone has personal problems sometimes, and it is in such moments that true professionalism shows itself. Why should your boss help you get through a difficult emotional period? Better take sick leave or call your mom to console you.
11. "I tried my best"
This is an excuse. If you made a mistake and are not capable of more, then what does this say about your skill? Better promise to do it right next time.
12. "I already tried"
Bosses can't stand laziness. Make sure you have actually tried the suggested option before you refuse. Perhaps your boss has something else in mind.
13. "I'll quit"
Don't threaten to be fired. This is unprofessional, and you will be considered a flyer.
14. "I just thought..."
This phrase irritates many bosses because they would rather hear that you made a mistake and learned from it than excuses.
15. “In my last job, we used to do this.”
Bosses don't like know-it-alls, so be careful if you think you know the best option. In order not to call into question the competence of the boss, it is better to express such phrases in the form of a question.
16. "It's not my fault, it's all John"
Blame-shifting is a slippery slope. If you are not at fault, explain why. Do not blame others if the main responsibility lies with you.
17. "If you don't tell me what to do, then I..."
It sounds like a threat. It is better to wait than to run into a reprimand later.
18. “[Your predecessor] did things differently/better”
As a rule, bosses believe that they act better than their predecessors, otherwise they would not now occupy their position. You should not demand from the boss to do everything "the old fashioned way" just because you are used to it.
19. "I can't work with him/her"
The inability to get along with the team is a bad trait even in elementary grades, not to mention the workplace. You are expected to be able to put personal conflicts aside in the interest of the common cause.
20. "He's a goat"
The boss expects you to treat others the same way you expect yourself, so there is not the slightest point in scolding colleagues in front of him. It will only worsen his opinion of you.
21. "Why does Jane always...?"
Whining is annoying. If you are dissatisfied with something, ask how you can get this or that privilege without mentioning others.
22. "I'm bored"
You are paid for performance and enthusiasm. Making your work interesting is your personal responsibility.
23. "I want to talk to your superiors"
Turning to higher authorities undermines the authority of the boss - it certainly will not bring you any advantages, unless you quit and there is no other choice. If you decide to complain about the boss, do not warn him in advance.
24. "I don't have a solution"
Don't tell your boss about problems without offering potential solutions.
25. “I picked up such a chick yesterday!”
Sometimes the relationship between a boss and a subordinate develops into friendship. But sharing intimate details at work is a bad idea. Outsiders can hear you.
26. "Why does Jim have it and I don't?"
Focus on your own career, not someone else's income or promotions. If you feel that you are being treated unfairly, think carefully about the situation before discussing it with your superiors.
27. “I am very busy. This is urgent?"
Your responsibility is to ask your boss if priorities have changed, because your goals must match those of your bosses. Priorities change frequently, so you should ask directly about it.
28. "It's Impossible"
The boss does not want to hear denials and doubts. If you have any thoughts on this, express them and ask for advice.
29. "I won't be around these days" / "I'm leaving early tomorrow"
Don't tell your boss you're going on vacation or leaving work early - ask permission. It sounds much more professional. For example: “I planned to take a vacation from Monday to Wednesday, do you mind?”
30. “Can I leave early today, since there is so little work?”
If you need to leave early, that's fine. But don't say that you have "little work" or "nothing to do." There will always be work, and the bosses appreciate the initiative.
Do not think that in a bad relationship with the management is not your fault. In the end, no matter how tyrant the boss is, you are also involved in the birth of the conflict, albeit unconsciously. If workplace it’s dear to you, you don’t want to burn bridges, and you are serious about regaining your location, you need to know exactly what you can’t tell your boss. Read the analysis of the ten most reckless phrases thrown to the boss, and their edited version.
10 Stop Phrases You Shouldn't Say to Your Boss
1. “Can I go home? Nothing to do anyway"
The worst thing you can demonstrate to management is your obvious disinterest in work. You can understand: the volume of tasks assigned does not always correspond to the amount of time allocated for their implementation. But if your profession does not involve a free schedule, you should not say so, otherwise you will get a load of new obligations and accusations of idleness.
- Want to leave early? Give any reason other than no cases.
2. “But we don’t work like that, we always do it like this”
This phrase seems harmless until you hear its alternative version in the style of "my ex did it wrong", "and my mother puts two sugar cubes." The reality is that your conservatism means sabotage for the new boss, unwillingness to adapt to his new requirements, respect his views. Nobody will like this.
- What to do? Explain that the new approach may be difficult because you have never worked with the new scheme.
3. “This is not within my authority, I am not paid for this”
Good leaders hate subordinates who show complete disinterest in the affairs of the company. Yes, today this is not your problem, but tomorrow the staff will be reduced, and you will be the first to fall out of favor, because your problems will not bother anyone either.
- If you don’t really understand the issue, just say that you are not an expert, and are currently working on a dozen other projects, redirecting the boss to someone who knows better or is now free.
4. "It's not me, it's Nina"
Such a translation of arrows in fact looks immature and betrays you as a stupid person, unable to answer for his mistakes. If you messed up firewood, have the courage to admit it, taking on the obligation to correct the situation. It will not get worse, on the contrary, honesty and directness will soften the situation a little.
- On the other hand, if Nina is really to blame, talk about it delicately so as not to pass for an informer and not get the hatred of the whole team.
5. “What will happen to me for this?”
You need to respect your work in order not to become a scapegoat, on which all the most complex projects are thrown off, taking advantage of your reliability. At the same time, you should not turn into Uncle Scrooge, who will squeeze the maximum benefit out of any little thing, demanding rewards for trifling tasks. Such pettiness will expose you as a greedy and unpleasant person, which will not add points in the eyes of your superiors.
- How to be? Balance. Somewhere to make concessions and help, somewhere to defend their borders.
6. “Please raise your salary, I have a mountain of loans”
No matter how hard it is, personal problems have no place at work. It’s one thing to ask for help one-time, another thing is to abuse whining and photographs of hungry kids.
- Do you want to receive more? Work smarter. Prove that you are irreplaceable, that you bring tangible benefits to the company, and it makes sense for the authorities to hold on to you by raising your salary. Any claims must be confirmed by real professional success, and not just the ability to knock out a tear.
7. "I'll try"
By saying this phrase, you are actually declaring to the manager that you do not know how to do this, and therefore you cannot vouch for anything. Comfortable position that distorts hearing.
- If you don’t want to run into discontent, choose unambiguous expressions: “I will do everything” or “I will do what I can, but not until next month.” Be honest and discuss in advance what is causing you anxiety or difficulty.
8. “Well, I thought so…”
If you make a mistake due to inattention, never say this phrase. It’s better to admit right away that you misunderstood the task, but fix all the jambs in the next couple of hours. Such negligence is unpleasant, on the other hand, at least you take responsibility for your mistakes and do not feed others with unnecessary excuses.
- And for the future, remember: it is better to clarify the task 10 times than to do everything in seconds, but incorrectly.
9. "I'm too busy!"
It happens that the plan of action changes, and what you did yesterday is no longer relevant. In such cases, you should not slip, get nervous or tear your hair out of frustration.
- It is better to immediately clarify with the boss what is more important: the project that you have been working on all this time, or the next urgent task? If the first - new responsibilities can be safely postponed, if the second - remember the priority and concentrate on new facts.
10. "That's it, I'm quitting"
The last item on our stop list is exemplary layoffs. No matter how great a specialist you are, no one likes concerts, especially if their goal is to manipulate management decisions.
- Decided to leave in all seriousness? Go away. But if you throw empty threats, defiantly slam the door, and then return guiltily, know that sooner or later you will lose your authority, and the door will really be closed behind you. Are you ready for this twist of fate?
Be vigilant and always look to the root. Remember what not to tell your boss and why! To a person who consciously relates to his work, and the attitude is different!
How your career develops depends largely on how you build your relationship with your boss. And here an important role is played by how you talk and what you say in general. After all, it is first by appearance, and then by conversation, that we are evaluated by colleagues and superiors. How to talk to your boss, what to say to make a good impression?
What to say to the boss is up to you, the main thing is not to say something under any circumstances. There are certain phrases that you just need to cross out of your vocabulary, because by using them, you subconsciously sign your incompetence and irresponsibility.
Never say the phrase " i thought someone else was looking into this issue". Excuses only slow things down. Try to avoid reasoning that it would be nice if someone else took up this issue. If you have a task, try to structure the problem. To move things forward, always ask questions.
Never say " nobody told me about it".
If your boss hears you say this phrase often, then he will probably have a negative idea of \u200b\u200bhow you work. It turns out that you are working as if in a fog, not noticing what is happening around you. You may get the impression that you do not know how to properly distribute your work time and set priorities.
Never say " I was thinking that...". Such a phrase will lead to the fact that you will instantly lose all interest, and this is a direct path to dismissal.
Better not say the phrase " I asked her to tell..."So what of it? The fact that you asked someone to hand over to someone does not mean at all that you have completed the task in full. It also does not mean that now the responsibility for completing this task lies with that person who you called A good manager, even in difficult situations, does not shift responsibility to others.
Never say " and I didn't know that you want me to do it". If you utter such a phrase, then this means that you are able to act only when you are reminded of this, and when your actions are controlled by the leadership.
Do not speak " I did not have time" or " I was very busy". Saying these phrases, you sign in your own unprofessionalism. The ability to complete the task on time is an indispensable characteristic of a successful manager. Arguing for the failure to complete the task due to lack of time, you yourself sign a service obituary. And the following words will be inscribed on the tombstone of your buried career: "Failed with work".
Do not speak " I didn't think to ask about it". The most important thing in work is to foresee everything that needs to be done. Failure to look ahead and anticipate may mean that you do not know how to keep all the threads in your hands. A successful manager must be able to calculate and anticipate a few steps ahead.
Never say " but there is still time before the end of the term". Nobody needs an emergency. Managers are well aware that what has been done in last minute leaves no time at all to evaluate what has been done, check it and correct mistakes. Modern business does not tolerate second-rate work.
Don't say " but they said it would be done in time". The problem is one thing - it was not done. Why? Yes, because you could not control the process, could not foresee possible problems and ways to eliminate them.
Never say " it should be over then and there's nothing more to discuss". Deadlines are only important when they are met. And they must be reconciled and adjusted every time as necessary.
Don't say the phrase As far as I understand…". No need to cheat. The whole trouble is that you are trying to evade. By using such words, you thereby show that you are not an active participant in the process, but just an outside observer. And the spectator is not paid for the game.
Never say " I will do it as soon as I receive from...". Sorry, but with such competition in the world, this is not a very good answer. If you feel like just a cog in a big machine, then you will not stay at work for a long time. The last statement is true even if the deadline was delayed not according to your Tackling the right problem at the right time, giving it the attention it deserves, and taking responsibility for it is the program of action for a successful manager.
Do not speak " I promise I will take care of it immediately". Of course, you will! After someone had to remind you of this. You thereby show everyone that you are an unorganized worker and can deal with issues only when someone draws your attention to it. If you If you act on prompts and constant reminders, then there are two options in your career: either your days in this job are numbered, or you will never get a promotion.
Never say " I've been trying all this time to contact everyone, but...". Today, this no longer holds water. It turns out that you yourself cannot fulfill the duties and be responsible for the work assigned, or that your colleagues do not want to work with you. In any case, this can bring trouble.
Don't pronounce we can't reach each other by phone". Perhaps you think that in this way you demonstrate your employment. But everything is not quite right. Why? If you "can't contact each other by phone," then this means that you do not live in a real dimension. Everything must be done to prevent this from happening.If necessary, then buy yourself mobile phone or at least a pager and tell everyone your number, and then you will always be easy to contact.
Never say " I couldn't reach her". Of course, communication on the phone today is a terrible problem. There are barriers that sometimes seem impenetrable. Be creative. Send flowers. Rent a limousine. Do whatever can get attention to you. And just sitting and making excuses is to sign in their complete impotence.
In business today, everything is quite clear. Active actions is the key to success. Whatever the obstacles in the way, your task is to eliminate them yourself. If you cannot do this, then you yourself will be the obstacle.
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