How to get rid of doubts - this question always arises when we want to make the right decision, but we are afraid to make a mistake.
Doubt is a very uncomfortable state of mind and is always accompanied by confusion, bewilderment, fear and indecision.
But the whole truth is that no matter what decision we make, it will be the most correct for us, and will give us the necessary experience, experiences, bring the necessary clarity to the area that worries us the most.
In a certain period of time, I realized that I was not satisfied with my work.
At that time, I worked as the head of a large social assistance unit in the department of labor and social protection population. The work took all my free time, did not allow me to develop, move forward and receive decent money for the time, the energy that I put into this business.
But along with this, a fear of a catastrophe arose - what if I didn’t succeed, I would lose a stable income. Fear of loss social guarantees, fear of insecurity, fear of taking responsibility for their future life with
And all these fears fettered me, prevented me from living. Every day I realized that my determination was fading away, doubts completely took over my mind and did not let anything positive, new into my life.
And the more I doubted, the more I developed a feeling of confusion, depression, insecurity.
And only after, when I gathered all my will into a fist, sat down and thought: "What do I really want?" - the answer came by itself. And I took decisive action.
The whole process, how to get rid of doubts, fit into 6 simple steps, which led to the strengthening of self-confidence and decision-making.
Step 1. Remind yourself of your intention as often as possible.
When you say to yourself: "I intend (a) ..." The Universe always gives energy for the fulfillment of a desire.
And if you do not take any steps to implement this action: doubt, postpone, it no longer helps you in this direction. Energy is lost, the fuse goes away, inspiration disappears. And as a result, nothing really works.
Therefore, it is very important to remind yourself of the power and help of the Universe.
2 step. Always focus on any decision you make.
When you notice that doubts are taking over your mind, say to yourself decisively and firmly: "I choose ..." And you will see that each time your "muscle of determination" will become stronger and you will be able to overcome doubts more easily and strengthen your will . After all, where our attention is directed, energy goes there and development takes place.
Any state of ours trains and develops like a muscle. And the more we stay in any state, the stronger it becomes, builds up and intensifies.
Therefore, it is important to make any decision quickly - in one or two minutes, so as not to train the muscle of indecision and doubt, but to develop and strengthen your will.
3 step. Ask yourself the question: "What do I like the most?"
It is very important when in doubt to ask yourself the right questions: What attracts me the most? Where do I have more energy? And listen carefully to yourself. And then resolutely direct your actions in the right direction.
4 step. Trust your intuition.
Doubt must be nipped in the bud. You need to take risks, trust your intuition, learn to support yourself.
Listen to your heart, not your mind. Your heart, intuition will never let you down.
Retire in some place convenient for you and look inside yourself, listen to yourself. It is with you through intuition that the Higher Power speaks, which loves you very much, wishes you happiness and wants to help you. Your task is to listen carefully to this quiet, timid voice. And after hearing it, make a decisive decision to act with full confidence that you are not alone in your business, you will always have the strength to overcome all obstacles on the path to success.
5 step. Always be flexible in your approach to any decision.
Remember that no catastrophe will happen, no matter what decision you make. And you can always find many ways and options to achieve the goal.
One of better ways Finding the best solution is to simulate the actions of people who have already achieved excellent results in a similar matter. On their example, you will see what actions lead to what results. And depending on your goal and desire, choose the desired option. And begin by all means to act, resolutely getting rid of doubts.
6 step. Believe in your strengths and in your abilities.
The main thing on the way to getting rid of doubts is to remember that any decision you make will necessarily open up many amazing opportunities for you. Use them, put them into practice, search, create, act and you will definitely succeed!
And the Universe always gives you strength, energy, when it sees that you, using the gift that has been given to you, improve not only your life, but also do it better, better world around you.
Right now, remember what decision you made most recently and write down what positive changes you received from making this decision.
What did you learn, what cleared up for you, what improved?
And remember that every doubt deprives us of experience, new development, strengthens our belief that we are failures.
Out of a hundred people, only one opens a free niche in business. This is the one who just said to himself: "Why not? - and took a step Donny Deutch
Learn to support yourself, inspire and take risks. By developing only these "muscles" in yourself, you will immediately see what new perspectives will open up before you.
Using only these 6 simple steps, I saw, great amount new opportunities for myself and now I can say with confidence that it works and brings amazing results
Includes making a detailed list of all your strengths, as well as goals that you have achieved. Pay special attention to your character traits, which are most envied by your acquaintances. Reflect on it, awareness strengths helps with insecurity.
Feelings of insecurity will gradually go away if you celebrate all your achievements. To do this, resurrect your past victories in memory, even seemingly not very significant ones at first glance. If there is even the slightest reason, be sure to praise and reward yourself. For example, going to the movies or buying something interesting.
Self-doubt will also gradually subside if you fixate on the good things instead of the negative. If something didn’t work out for you today, remember the circumstances in which you managed to perform at your best. Also remember situations when you managed to successfully overcome self-doubt. Relive in memory what you felt then - your feeling of victory. And then try to keep this attitude, which will now fuel your self-confidence.
If you are in a stressful situation, give vent to negative feelings. For some people, exercising is a great release. However, you can also do the cleaning of the apartment or take a long walk. Physical fatigue will serve you well: you simply will not have the strength for self-criticism.
Finally, one more simple secret of self-confidence: do not make any decisions in the heat of the moment. If you feel that your nerves are unnecessarily tense, try to distract yourself with something completely different that has nothing to do with the problem. You can, for example, recall an interesting book you recently read or a pleasant meeting with friends. When you feel that you have calmed down, you can take care of the issues that need to be resolved.
Related videos
note
How to get rid of self-doubt? Many people are familiar with the feeling of contradictory internal state when, if you want to perform a certain action or deed, a certain psychological barrier arises that does not allow you to realize your plan.
Ways to get rid of self-doubt. The first thing to do is stop blaming everyone and everything for being raised to be shy and insecure, and don't dwell on your failures anymore. It is impossible to return and correct the past, but the present depends entirely on you, use any opportunity for a fulfilling life.
Sources:
- Realizing the task, how to get rid of doubts and insecurities
Confidence is the psychological side of a person's personality. It is thanks to her that people form certain beliefs and views on certain situations. However, not everyone has this quality. So how do you recognize an insecure person?
Instruction
You can recognize an insecure person even from afar. To do this, pay attention to his gait. Insecure people timidly walk with short steps, while often shuffling their feet and bending their knees. One gets the impression that the legs themselves lead such a person to where he has no desire to go at all.
Posture can also tell a lot about a person. Slouching and drooping shoulders are signs of insecurity. If a gait can be imitated, then such a number will not work with posture, because it is quite difficult to keep your shoulders straight for a long time out of habit. Tight back muscles will only add more uncertainty.
The lack of control over the hands also betrays insecurity. If a person begins, roughly speaking, to fiddle and touch everything that is at his fingertips, then he clearly feels out of place.
Good afternoon, dear editor!
I am your reader for a short time, more than a month. But we can conclude that the content of the site High Quality, starting with texts and ending with selections of photos of girls.) Thank you!
I am writing to you with a question for help here on what occasion.
The question is related to a career, with the decision to move further up the stairs leading to good things.)
I am 26 years old, I graduated from the "kerosene" in a good specialty. After graduating from high school, they were invited to good salary in a production office building gas pipelines. After working for two years, he moved to the Research Institute, a subsidiary of a large Russian energy company. The work brought satisfaction, I am engaged in solving interesting problems, I also began to write a PhD thesis.
But a couple of months ago I was invited to the administration of the parent organization for a higher salary.
Everything seems to be obvious - take it and agree. But something is holding me back ... Either I'm a coward, or I'm not sure of myself ...
On the one hand, work in research institutes with a good and stable salary, a quiet work schedule that contributes to writing a dissertation, but with the obligatory condition of closing research contracts and without much further prospects.
On the other hand, work in the administration of one of the largest energy companies in Russia, with an excellent salary and bonuses, but, accordingly, with heavy workloads, with constant delays until the night and less free time to write a candidate's thesis.
How to get rid of doubts, stop worrying and live in a buzz?
Although you can’t get away from the worries and doubts that have accompanied me since birth…
Answer
We are glad to welcome you, dear friend, to the large and friendly BroDude family. As they say, welcome to the club! Thank you for the flattering assessment, and in no case be modest. A month is a long time. Exactly in a month, my close friend fell in love and turned sour, like vomit in the fresh air. From a friendly guy turned into a pathetic human likeness. But he showed great promise. I literally loved him like a brother. And since this transformation happened to him in a month, then we will try to reason with you in exactly a few minutes. I don’t know what your reading technique is, but I think this time should be enough, because by and large there is nothing to think about.
You are absolutely right when you say you can't get away from it. It is normal to doubt every step. Perhaps doubts make you slow down a little bit in direct life, but, having figured out the problem, you have an advantage. Even behind the mountains of gold, you can’t run headlong, American citizens who rested in the Californian mines during the Gold Rush are proof of this.
And it is very correct that before moving on to the next step, you think about “whether your body can withstand it all.” There is nothing wrong with doubts, it is better to spend time thinking before than to regret later, choking on tons of hateful coffee, sitting in the office at night. You will live in a high only when all your hidden thoughts and dreams come true, or you earn enough money that you will be able to buy yourself Slovakia, 414 Malaysian pavement dancers and hire BroDude authors as personal scribes. But for this you need to work.
You are 26 - no longer a boy. Apparently, you are not one of those whiny garcons who finished the "kerosene" just because your parents said. You know the profession. But in this area, you know, you can achieve unprecedented heights in order to provide yourself with that very “high life”, like Max Korzh, when you can do nothing, but still allow yourself a lot. And for this you need to plow. It is clear that there will be no personal time, as well as justice in the world. Believe me, this is not the worst victim. There are worse ones. And in general, getting something good, sooner or later you have to give something in return. Someone gives a kidney to pay off a loan, someone cuts off a leg to escape from the trap of a maniac-psychopath of questionable appearance, someone gives his innocence to a producer to become a famous singer. You only need to donate time. You now have a comfortable quiet job, but sooner or later in life you need to change something. Therefore, decide on these damned changes so as not to regret later. Suddenly there will be no more such proposals?
And then, the next time you think about whether to take the next step or stay in the familiar but sweet swamp, remember your dreams and goals. If the aspirations are great, then it will have to be done, despite the dire consequences. If not, then there is nothing to say, you yourself know everything. But remember the phrase of Dumas father: “The dreams that are not in doubt are most easily realized.”
Walking through life, we often meet people about whom we can safely say: the lucky one, the minion of fate, the child of fortune. Sometimes, looking at such lucky ones, the thought flashes: “ Eh, you're lucky! And why was I not born under the same lucky star, why is everything wrong with me?» Then we get upset, jealous, and even more immersed in our far-fetched bad luck. And the question remains hanging in the air without finding an answer.
It would be worth thinking deeply about the question " Why is everything wrong with me? before feeling sad and blaming unfavorable fortune. You can find a lot of reasons that prevent you from being happy and successful, but one of the most significant is an all-consuming doubt.
Why does that man drive a Bentley, live in huge apartments and vacation in the Maldives every year? While you huddle in a one-room apartment and ride the subway. The first answer that comes to mind: stole, deceived, and so on. Of course, it is possible that he could accumulate wealth illegally. Or maybe he just had a good opportunity and he took it and earned it without any doubts. After all, no doubt, he had many competitors on his way, but some of them doubted, some chickened out, gave up and missed the big jackpot.
A man who goes to the goal without unnecessary doubts received a material reward, which will provide him with a comfortable life.
When we see an ugly guy with a luxurious long-legged beauty, the thought instantly arises that she is with him because of. But if there is no money, then why? Most likely, the guy just took and met her without any doubts at a time when others were shy and did not know how to approach such beautiful girl. The guy did not doubt his actions and easily found a path to the girl's heart. Even if he was not lucky the first time, he did not hesitate to approach a beautiful girl on another day when she was in a mood to communicate. Well, if he was not lucky with one, he will certainly be lucky with the other.
"Why is this girl so lucky?" - the question torments you. Whatever business she takes on, almost always everything goes “like clockwork”, success is her true friend and comrade. Of course, we think that she is a child of fortune, a real lucky one. But in fact, she simply does not doubt anything, but confidently steps forward. This does not mean that this girl can do everything, she just knows how not to give up when something goes wrong. After all, there is no road without bumps. She is not lucky, but she knows how to have no doubts and purposefully move forward.
What lies behind the doubts?
Often this is stiffness, self-doubt, shyness, fears, complexes, laziness. All this is the activity of the mind, which prevents you from moving towards the chosen goal. The mind keeps repeating: “you will be refused, you will look ridiculous” or: “You will not succeed, and so it will do, because it is no worse than the rest and okay!”. The heart knows that this is a lie, but the mind does not hear it.
It so happened that from early childhood we are closed by the shells of our mind. Whatever business we touch upon, we instantly begin to analyze the situation in complex ways, put all the pros and cons on the shelves, weigh the pros and cons, and think over the further development of the situation. At a time when we are poking around in all the subtleties, someone faster and more dexterous cuts us off, and we are left to be sad with nothing.
Another way of development of events - carefully analyzing each stage, we will think over 100 options, and there is a completely unforeseen 101 options that do not suit us at all. Time spent on analysis, implementation, but all to no avail. No wonder hands down. Maybe it was enough to listen to your heart, which is hidden behind the numerous layers of the arguments of our mind? After all, the heart already knows the answer, and the mind often thinks and analyzes a lot. But this does not mean at all that you need to act carelessly and spontaneously, thoughtless actions will not lead to good. This means that you need to think and listen to the quiet deep signals of your subconscious at the same time. You need to get rid of the complexes that prevent you from moving forward. Among them: fear, low self-esteem, shyness, self-doubt.
You don’t need to go to your goal, as if into a dense forest with the thought: “Will I get lost or not?”, go to the store for cigarettes, if you still have them without a doubt or not. If you walk through life like a swamp, gently feeling your way with a stick, then under your feet there will be a swamp. If you are light and skipping, then there is no doubt that there will be smooth asphalt under you!
Doubt breeds many problems, including feelings of vulnerability, low self-esteem, frustration, depression, and despair. It's normal to have doubts and everyone goes through it. Understand your doubts and turn them into a positive experience to solve the problem. Don't let doubt deprive you of a fulfilling life. The desire to explore and let go of doubt will help you find peace of mind.
Steps
Part 1
How to deal with doubts- Filter or exclude positive aspects and focus on the negative. It may turn out that you are focused on one unpleasant detail that prevents you from considering the whole task. Don't ignore this detail, but strive to see the big picture. All situations have positive aspects of one kind or another.
- Use excessive generalizations, draw global conclusions on single grounds. If something bad happens one day, then we suddenly expect that such an event will happen again. Sometimes such overgeneralizations lead to hasty conclusions. A person is convinced that he is dealing with a global problem, although his assumptions take into account only a small part of the available data. Never be afraid to seek Additional information, information and data, especially those that cast doubt on your generalizations.
- Over-dramatizing, obsessing over the worst possible outcome. You may be wondering, "What if something terrible happens to me?" This mindset often leads people to overemphasize minor mistakes or downplay important positive events. Give yourself confidence and think about the best of all possible outcomes, as well as about your goal. Events may develop in a completely different way, but this way of thinking will ease the doubts that are based on the fear of the worst outcome.
- Draw emotional conclusions, accept feelings as a true fact. You may be saying to yourself, "If it feels like it to me, then it is." Any point of view is limited, and feelings are only one of the many aspects of the situation.
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Distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable doubts. If you analyze the doubts, some of them may turn out to be unfounded. Reasonable doubt is based on the likelihood that you want to take an action that is beyond your ability.
- Think about how similar your task is to the work that you have done successfully before, especially if it requires development. If the answer is yes, you should not doubt your abilities.
- Unfounded doubts often originate from cognitive distortions. Learn to distinguish between such distortions in order to identify all reckless doubts.
- Some people find it helpful to write down their feelings in a diary. This method allows you to record and analyze your thoughts and emotions.
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Don't look for consolation. If you regularly turn to other people to confirm the correctness of your judgments or decisions, then by doing so you express an indirect distrust of yourself.
- Such questions cannot be compared to asking for advice. Sometimes an outside perspective helps us better understand the causes of our concerns. If doubts are related to skills and experience, then talking with a specialist in this field will help you find a way out. At the same time, you should remember that the decision is up to you to make.
Part 2
How to get rid of doubts-
Train Mindfulness . According to the principles of Buddhism, for mindfulness, you need to think about the present, focus on the world around you and not think about the future. This is the only way to get rid of feelings of anxiety and uncertainty about the future. Several very simple mindfulness exercises are available.
Change your perception of failure. This way you will stop doubting your abilities because of the risk of failure. Failures happen, but they are not catastrophic. Nobody is successful all the time. Start seeing failures as opportunities to learn. Turn failures into "experiences", notice aspects in which you should improve. Don't be afraid to try again, but this time focus more on self-development.
- As an example, remember your failures, no matter how small, and your subsequent actions in order to correct the situation. Think about how you learned to ride a bike or play chess. After the first failure, you began to act differently and found the right path.
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Recognize your strengths. Each person has a number of achievements. Recall times in the past when you achieved any goal you set. Use this experience to believe in yourself and strive for more. Some achievements even allow you to get rid of fear and increase self-esteem.
Give up perfectionism. If you strive not only to achieve success, but to do everything perfectly, then the goal will become almost unattainable. This attitude creates fear of failure and leads to mistakes. Set achievable goals for yourself. You will soon find that giving up your "ideal" goals will not bring the expected frustration or condemnation.
- As with doubts, you should recognize your desire to do everything perfectly. If you procrastinate a lot, easily give up on tasks that aren't going well, or agonize over the little things, then you're most likely a perfectionist.
- Think about how an outsider would assess your situation. Would he act as selflessly or devotedly? Look at your goal from a different angle.
- Look at things more broadly so as not to drown in the details. Imagine the worst possible outcome. Can you survive such a situation? Will you remember her in a day, a week, a year?
- Determine the acceptable level of imperfection. Decide what aspects do not require perfection from you. Make a list of the costs and benefits that come with perfectionism.
- Try to overcome the fear of imperfection. Challenge yourself with intentional small mistakes: send an email without error checking, or deliberately leave a mess in a visible part of your home. Such gaffes (intentionally rigged) will help to accept imperfection.
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Learn to deal with uncertainty. Sometimes doubts arise because we cannot be completely sure of our future. No one can predict the future, so there is always some degree of uncertainty. The inability to come to terms with such uncertainty can shackle a person and prevent him from doing positive things.
- Make a list of your likely actions in case of doubt or the need to complete a certain task. If you regularly seek reassurance of success (not advice) or procrastinate and repeatedly double-check your work, then pay attention to which tasks provoke this behavior. Think about how you behave in such situations, especially if the result does not meet your expectations. It may turn out that the most undesirable outcome will not happen, and the shortcomings are easy to fix.
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Move towards your goal in small steps. A huge task should be divided into achievable actions. Rejoice in each success achieved, and do not worry about the amount of work ahead.
- Sometimes it's good to ignore setbacks, but don't miss situations that can be fixed (pay off a debt or mend a relationship).
Admit doubts. You can't solve a problem unless you acknowledge the fact that it exists and influences your decisions. Doubt arises for good reasons and is not your enemy or a sign of inferiority.
Question your doubts. What do you doubt? What are the causes of concern? Questions help you better understand your actions, so never be afraid to ask yourself. Focus on the aspects that are preventing you from moving forward to recognize important doubts. It is worth thinking carefully, and it may turn out that such concerns are insignificant and do not represent a problem.
Recognize and challenge common cognitive biases. No one can always clearly see the surrounding reality. Sometimes emotions cloud our judgment and things begin to be perceived in a false light. Rate how prone you are to the following behaviors:
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