Gorbunova Natalia Efimovna,
mathematic teacher
GBOU Secondary School No. 1245, Moscow.

Dream Island. "School" fairy tale.

Characters:

1. Mary Ivanna, experienced teacher.
2. Petrovich, her husband.
3. Storyteller.
4. Queen.
5. Minister of Education.
6. Yaga Kostyanovna, methodologist.
7. First Ambassador.
8. Second Ambassador.
9. Third Ambassador.
10. Nanny.
11. Koschey Bessmertovich, substitute teacher.
12. Ivan, student.
13. Emelya, student.
14. Vasilisa the Wise, student.
15. Princess Nesmeyana, student.
16. Voice from Dream Island.

Dedicated to the memory of Leonid Alekseevich Filatov.

Prologue.

Narrator:
In some kingdom
famous state
We lived modestly
In a huge room
Mary Ivanna, experienced teacher,
She gave lessons in aerobatics;
Petrovich, husband,
The computer scientist was, they say, ideological.
There was a queen and there were ministers,
There were teachers and methodologists...
We won’t detain you with an introduction,
Let's quickly begin the true story!

Scene 1.

Narrator:
Crazy like an alarm clock
My cell phone rang in the morning.
Mary Ivanna grab the phone,
To run to the kitchen,
And from the receiver there is a menacing voice,
It’s impossible not to recognize him!

The queen's voice on the phone:
Here is the royal decree for you:
Report to class right away!
Today the house is full of guests -
Ambassadors-teachers of all areas.
So you'll bleed
Prepare a lesson for us!
If you can't, who's to blame? –
I must execute you.
State affair,
Are you catching the thread?..

Maria Ivanovna:
There's something I don't understand
In my mind?
Tea, I slurp cabbage soup without bast shoes,
I can figure out what's what.
It turns out that it's on me
All politics in the country:
If I don’t prepare a lesson -
There will definitely be war.

Queen's voice:
Let's not make jokes,
Get ready and look
Modern give me a lesson
To amaze the guests so that you can!
To use ICT,
I didn’t forget about visibility.
With sense, with humor, with intelligence...
In general, you know what it costs!
If I understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

Maria Ivanovna:
Don't hesitate to doubt
Tea, it's not the first time!
Maria Ivanovna is bending over her notebook. Petrovich enters.

Narrator:
The husband trudged in - he wanted to eat,
And the wife is busy...
She's over the notebook
Full of creative thoughts.

Petrovich:
To you, my soul,
A century would look without breathing,
Only breakfast, the heart feels,
There's no chance for me!
My father-in-law said it right:
“You put up with such a wife -
Clever beauty,
Can handle any class!
She has to work all day
From morning to night there is no laziness.
You can’t crawl to the stove -
It's you, my dear, keep in mind.
If you don't want to go on a diet
Stay for three weeks
You recipes on the Internet
Culinary look!
If you don't find it, put it in your mouth
Just a regular sandwich.”

Maria Ivanovna (without looking up from her notebook):
Don't freak out and don't whine!
There will be a table and there will be game!
I'll have a look in the freezer myself,
If you find a chicken, fry it.

Petrovich:
Algorithm?

Maria Ivanovna (holds out a piece of paper):
Look here!
I wrote down: one, two, three.
Point four – “salt”.
Yes, and don't forget to wash!
Don't distract me
Read everything in the instructions.
Petrovich sighs and leaves with instructions in hand.

Scene 2.

Narrator:
And the queen with the main ambassador
They are already sitting behind round table.
Behind you, look, there’s a nanny advisor.
On the side are two more overseas ambassadors
(Oh, the hard one brought them).
A little further away is the Minister of Education,
Ready to give his own interpretations to everything,
“Brush everyone with the same brush”
For the benefit, supposedly, of an abstract child.
Against the first ambassador, in an official manner,
Yaga Kostyanovna, methodologist,
Specialist for all questions.

First Ambassador:
Causes antiresis
Your technical progress:
You booted up the computer
Under license or without?

Yes!

Second Ambassador:
Causes antiresis
Educational process:
Cool watch lead
According to the system or without?

Queen, Nanny and Yaga (in unison):
Yes!

Third Ambassador:
Causes antiresis
And this is another cut:
Your children go to school
With joy or without?

Queen, Nanny and Yaga (in unison):
Yes!

Queen:
We cannot solve all problems!
Let's not rush.
Let's listen to different opinions
All doubts will go away.
Our minister prepared a speech...
Speak up, or else your head will be off your shoulders!

Minister:
I'll be brief, gentlemen.
Please take a look here:
Even from a fair distance
An increase in the quality of education is visible!
And the percentages say -
We raise smart kids!
With gratitude to Yaga (nods in her direction)
We are now taking the Unified State Exam.
And we all cry with happiness -
It can't be otherwise!
Congratulations to all of you, colleagues,
If the report is on time.
I'm not afraid of loud phrases:
The state loves you!
Even appreciates, respects,
Raises wages a little...
Let's just be honest -
You owe him everything!
Schedule every hour
To keep you busy:
Here is advice, there is a seminar,
Let the mosquito not sharpen your nose.
How do you hand over all the magazines?
Then go to sleep.

The nanny holds out her hand. The queen waves her away with displeasure.

Queen:
Hey, stop buzzing there,
You can't sit until evening.
Don't pull your hand, nanny.
Speak already, take a risk.

Nurse:
Our minister is not our enemy,
Everything is said as it is without lying.
I'm just hesitating -
Is this how he wants to live?
So as not to know rest,
Fall asleep over your notes,
Wasting energy, spoiling nerves,
Yes, get a penny...
So let him go
Taught at least one lesson
And I'll stand at the door,
While he checks the notebooks.
If he doesn’t check, let him drag it home.
Then my dove will sing!

Queen:
Sit down quickly and shut up -
Your place is by the stove.
From you - only bedlam,
I am ashamed, an embarrassment to the ambassadors!
I have been anti-resisting for a long time,
Aren't you sent to us?

Maria Ivanovna enters with a decisive step with a pointer and a magazine.

Maria Ivanovna:
Hello, welcome to class
For my lesson yes Classroom hour…

Queen (picks up):
Look, rate,
Yes, write an article about us.
Words like that... two hundred,
And let's rejoice together!
Everyone leaves.

Scene 3.

Narrator:
Let the guests learn from the experience
Our methods are mind-boggling...
Look: already an hour and another pass,
But the ambassadors sit and never come out.
But no, he came out alone,
Such a gloomy and important gentleman.
Apparently, I need to call him urgently.
Now we will find out everything specifically and accurately!

First Ambassador (speaking on a cell phone):
I wish you good health, it's me,
I’m ready to report everything without hiding.
I carried out the reconnaissance as you ordered.
To achieve our goal.

First Ambassador:
Well, I'll give you a straight answer:
Anti-response, no doubt.
It's not bad for the children here,
The teachers are simply wonderful.
Among them there are such
You can't take your eyes off it!
This is how children are taught
It's like your heart is being irradiated.
There is silence in the class:
You can hear a mosquito flying.
Well, you yourself are patient
And modest, kind, beautiful.
And how they say it!
Everything will be shown and explained...
You can rightly say -
This miracle is so wonderful!

Voice:
I wish I could lure them here,
But everyone needs to be fed!
Choose one for now
Bring it to my country.
You can't persuade
You can fail the experiment!
State affair,
Are you catching the thread?..

Narrator:
Well, here the ambassador became despondent...
He was a sent-out Cossack!
He sighed, scratched his head,
An action plan...quickly sketched out.
He briskly approaches Mary Ivanna,
Yes, he takes her aside.
She only thinks about one thing:
I wish I could go home now and fall asleep!

First Ambassador:
You charmed me -
It’s amazing how they taught it!
And I’ll tell you without embellishment:
I just fell in love with you.
Why, my dear,
Are you that tired?
You probably didn't sleep last night!
Can I help?

Maria Ivanovna:
Well, you noticed correctly.
Apparently I look bad...
So tired, I have no urine,
And also the teachers’ council,
Yes, a mountain of notebooks at home!
Is all this unfamiliar to you?
I only dream about
So that I can work during the day,
Go home in the evening
Not with a heavy bag,
Go to bed at night,
Don't check notebooks!

First Ambassador (mysteriously):
I see you can’t find a place for yourself,
And your parameters suit us very well.
Tell me, beauty, do you want
Come with me to Dream Island?
Imagine: there will be no playful children there,
Parents, harmful and careless,
There will be no lessons, no notebooks at all -
You will get rid of many problems at once!
You will change your profession and, without shedding tears,
You will shout with joy: “Hurray! Now I
I won't be a teacher! From now on forever
I, like everyone else, am a WHITE MAN!”

Narrator:
Mary Ivanna shrugged,
She sparkled with mischievous eyes,
She glanced slightly at the classroom door,
She exhaled and... agreed!
The Ambassador and Maria Ivanovna leave arm in arm.

Scene 4.

Narrator:
Morning has come again
The sun illuminated the Earth.
And we are with you this time
We go straight to class.
And here are the students.

Ivan:
Working on the report all day
I sat there like a tree stump.
Not a single serious thought
It's all complete rubbish!

Emelya:
Don't be so upset
You Ivan are not a fool!
Blow the report off the Internet
It will definitely be a quarter.
Don't break down and don't be afraid...

Ivan:
What about you?

Emelya:
Yes, I'm lazy...
Still, studying is boring.
That's what it's like, my pike!
Instantly according to my desire
Easily promotes learning.
As Emelya orders her,
So she will tell him.

Vasilisa the Wise:
You, Emelya, spread softly,
May you neither sow nor reap!
You talk a lot with your tongue -
It became unbearable to listen.

Emelya:
There's something I don't understand:
You, the Wise One, why
She did the upbringing
Not according to our minds?

Vasilisa:
Here is Princess Nesmeyana,
I will tell you without deception,
Always dissatisfied with everything
No thoughts - just water!
Roars over tasks
The essays are completely torn up,
Then he throws them into the fire...
Even spurs don't help!

Princess:
Well, you are all harmful,
(Vasilisa) Even you in all your glory!
Neither understand nor regret!
You must have a heart!

Ivan:
Stop quarreling, friends!
I'll tell you without hiding,
(whispers) There was a call a long time ago.
Mary Ivanna... no, it’s on time!

Emelya:
It's necessary, I'm late!
And yesterday she scolded me:
I didn’t want to get off the stove -
Prove the theorem.

Princess (whines):
What should we all do now?
We were completely abandoned!
I will now cry out of grief...

Vasilisa (with a grin):
There will definitely be a sea of ​​tears here!

Ivan:
Maybe you'll be lucky today:
Mary Ivanna won't come?!
Then we'll go to the movies!
Are you with me?

Pupils (in chorus):
Yes!!!
They run away.

Scene 5.

Narrator:
Meanwhile the queen is angry,
He just can’t find a place for himself:
Mary Ivanna can’t be reached by phone,
Nobody answers the phone!
The queen began to think:
Who should she turn to for help?
In my spare time I remembered an old friend -
Yage Bone Leg.

Queen:
Hello, Yagusya, it's me!
Hello, my dear!
Help me solve the problem -
Mary Ivanovna replacement.
Disappeared in an unknown direction,
Without even leaving a statement.

Yaga:
Don't joke like that anymore
It’s time to conduct an investigation!
Maybe Mary Ivanna children
Did you manage to finish it?

Queen:
You offend our children -
The best in the whole wide world!

Yaga:
Maybe you need to check
Is the team not very friendly?

Queen:
No, I will give a guarantee:
We are all one family here!

Yaga:
Maybe she doesn't have enough money?
Tea, the salary was not enough?

Queen:
Our Mary Ivanovna is a patriot:
He loves his job and doesn’t take bribes!

Yaga:
Well, then I’ll say it out of friendship,
The special services were at work here!
Well, I'll take control
And I'll send you a replacement.

Narrator:
Poor, poor children!
What are they responsible for?
Yaga Kostyanovna did not make a mistake,
Mary Ivanovna conjured a dashing replacement!

Scene 6.

Narrator:
The bell rang in the morning,
The lesson begins...
Schoolchildren sit and wait:
“Well, when will they come to them?”
One minute passes, another passes...
Koschey Bessmertnovich comes into class!
Angry at the children in advance,
He immediately gives the task.

Koschey:
You are lazy, parasites,
Boobies and fidgets!
Know that there is no mercy for you,
You have to answer for everything!
In a minute this verse
Learn from now to now!
Who doesn't learn at all,
I'll eat that, guys!
That is, I wanted to say
That he is ready to punish you!
So it's better to keep quiet
Yes, sit and teach!
Ivan and Vasilisa delve into the book. Princess Nesmeyana wipes away her tears with a handkerchief, and Emelya leans over the bucket in which he has a pike and whispers something to her. Koschey turns around sharply and snatches the bucket.
You won't fool me
“Count” you, you vigorous louse!
Write in your notebook two hundred times:
"I won't lie anymore."
He looks menacingly at the crying Princess.
Well, why are you crying?
You'll soon rot alive!
Go to the problem book and solve it,
Count a hundred examples.
Approaches Ivan and Vasilisa.
Somehow you have united...
Or were they united in evil intent?
Well, run around the corners,
Just sit there quietly!
Ivan and Vasilisa run away in fear in different directions. The bell rings.
I'll go for a little walk
And I don’t say goodbye to you, kids!
He leaves, taking a bucket of pike. The children look after him in bewilderment.

Ivan:
What kind of miracle is this?
Was it sent to us and from where?
If he comes again,
Then Kondraty is enough for me!

Princess:
Mary Ivanna loved us,
She taught and scolded.
Even if I instructed
I never insulted you!

Vasilisa:
We didn't know how to appreciate!
There's no point in blaming yourself...
It's better to think together
What should we do, what should we do?

Emelya:
Yes, my pike is missing!
Apparently, I will have science...
Well, it's time to get off the stove,
Look for Mary Ivanovna!

Scene 7.

Narrator:
Without hesitation, the children gathered...
Where to look? They were confused.
We went out into the corridor, and then look:
A kind nanny hurries to their aid.

Nurse:
You're not happy,
Heads hung!
I know your sadness,
The reason for your sorrows.

Vasilisa:
Be our friend, tell us
Yes, tell the whole truth.
Mary Ivanna for us
Where to look, in what region?

Nurse:
I'll tell you a secret,
I'll give you an answer to your question.
Mary Ivanna is far away,
It's not easy to get to!

Beyond the seas, beyond the forests,
Behind the high mountains
There is an island in Okiyan
And there are countless miracles on it!

There's a scientific institute there
Learns light work:
To bring joy
And I didn’t waste much effort.

People are listened to in advance
And all wishes are taken into account.
The program is then compiled
It is sent to the computer.

But there are persistent rumors:
Computers are dying like flies.
All professions have been tested,
And the teachers stood up together!

So they kidnapped your Mary Ivanna,
So that we can clear up this mess!
They probably promised to let her rest,
And they themselves intend to drag you into the experience!

Emelya:
Well, I do not! (bumps with fist)
This will be our answer!
What is the name of the island, do you know?

Nurse:
Yes, that’s what it’s called – Dream Island!

The children run away. The nanny waves after them.

Scene 8.

Narrator:
But Mary Ivanna lives and doesn’t know
That they were seriously watching her.
She comes home early
And he finds time to relax.
Looks fresh and cheerful
My thoughts are not at all occupied with school.
Do not disturb lessons, calls
And truant students.
Just heavenly life has arrived!

Narrator:
But a week and another passes...
Mary Ivanna is tormented by melancholy.

Maria Ivanovna:
How are my children, how is the class?
Who is replacing me now?
What kind of knowledge does it give children?
And will they pass the test?

Voice:
Don't be executed, because you wanted to
Relax …. So what's the deal?
She said: labor is shocking
And not at all grateful!
Now what? Does your conscience bother you?
Calm down my darling!
And let him continue to teach them
Better someone else!

Narrator:
Mary Ivanna was horrified...

Maria Ivanovna:
How – different?

Narrator:
And suddenly... I woke up!

Maria Ivanovna:
My God, this is a dream!
How strange is he...

Narrator:
Instantly, straightening my strands,
She collected the notebooks
Having swallowed a cup of coffee,
Having quickly fed my husband,
I left the house cheerfully,
Where everything is simple and familiar.
There was a wonderful day ahead,
Difficult, but interesting!

Students (in chorus)
“Hello!”

Narrator:
... - it sounded nearby,
My heart immediately started beating...
Sees: next to the road in a row
Her schoolchildren are standing.

Princess:
Maria Ivanovna, we understand ourselves,
That we are not sugar, that we are a noisy class,
What is very difficult for you sometimes happens to us,
But it’s probably even more difficult without us?!

Emelya:
We are restless and sometimes lazy,
We don’t listen to simple and wise phrases,
Thank you for being patient with us,
What do you believe and hope for in us!

Vasilisa:
We understand that this is not easy -
Living in a whirlwind of daily bustle.
But who knows where it is, this Island?
Such a wonderful, righteous Dream?!

Epilogue.
Maria Ivanovna:
I had a wonderful dream yesterday:
Anxiously counting the days until the leaves fall

Now I'm not a teacher, I'm free
From endless school problems,
And life flows so decorously, nobly,
Without unsolved topics and theorems.

Imagine: these eternal notebooks
From now on they are not meant for me,
And I can dream about the surface of the water,
About the prince on the silver horse.

I can go to the pool at my leisure,
I can bake a pie for the whole family,
And not talk about school with a friend,
And tell about your joys.

Other people's children don't bother your soul,
There is no series of lessons, changes...
But somehow I'm not getting any younger
I miss the cute school walls!

Yes, I think I miss them now
Without children's eyes, without noise, fuss...
After all, children give me their hearts
Like bouquets of wondrous beauty!

I had a terrible dream yesterday:
I'm not a teacher, I don't need it anymore
Excitedly count the days until the leaves fall
And go to school every day in the morning...

This is a joke and funny scene Congratulations to teachers on Teacher's Day were written by the modern poet Olga Skladchikova. Perhaps this cool scene can be useful to you in preparing the script for the Teacher's Day holiday. Such comic scene The congratulations will appeal to both teachers and all guests of the Teacher's Day at school. Thanks to the author!

See other scenarios for school holidays on the website, and let your Teacher’s holiday be unforgettable.

Congratulations-sketch for Teacher's Day (comic and funny)

New old

Heroes:
The old chemist is an old man, with tousled bangs, huge glasses, a medical gown, and shaggy eyebrows;
Grandmother - A hunched old woman, wearing a scarf on her head, with several painted teeth, and a cane;
A former model (aged) - a lively old woman, wearing massive heels, hung with jewelry, with bright makeup, a huge butt made of a pillow;
The biker is a huge old man, with a beard, an earring in his ear, in leather clothes, and with a lollipop.
The crazy man is an elderly, playful grandfather, in pajamas, with a badge (ward No. 13), constantly crosses his eyes and laughs hysterically and contagiously.

(they walk in to the music -)

1 hero:

Let's introduce ourselves who we are:
Grandmothers and grandfathers are not simple.
We oldies are mischievous
The ringleaders are humorous.

2nd hero:

We want to congratulate you,
Let's turn your day into a fairy tale.
Congratulations on Teacher's Day,
And now let's introduce ourselves

3 hero:

To be honest, we are graduates
Lying, of course, is not appropriate.

4th hero:

Now the moment has come,
Look who became who!

Old chemist:

Hello, I'm an old chemist,
And I want to tell you
How I sometimes sat with a guitar,
But I wanted to know more.

The teachers took me into account,
They forced me to cram everything,
So as not to know later the anxiety,
Learn the subject with ease.

Grandmother:

I once studied here
And sometimes I was a little naughty,
And now I'm a little old
I'm just talking rubbish.

I bring my youngest grandson here,
Despite sclerosis,
He must know all the sciences,
To grow smart quickly.

Biker:

I'm a biker, a killer dude,
I went to school every other day,
Even if the lesson was fun,
I was too lazy to teach him.

Well, why? Waste!
I chose the motorcycle
Even if the salary was small,
I was able to feed myself.

Former model:

I came out with my face, figure,
But she was a complete fool.
Spun up and went out,
Is life really in vain?

I needed to study
To work and work.
Photos don't last forever
Time is very fleeting.

In my life I would not be a phantom,
Former model with a diploma!
We are dolls, but life is a game,
It's like it was all yesterday!

Crazy:

Check out my outfit
How cool he sits.
I look like an encore!
Should I show you a striptease?

Just a joke, just a joke, don't be impudent!
You have pity on the patient!
I'm a complete disgrace to everyone
I still remember the teachers.

I always boasted about my diary,
And there was only “two” in it!
My head is a mess
Well, guys, I'm a fool!

3 hero:

We introduced ourselves, opened up,
We were in a hurry to see you for the holiday!

4th hero:

Teacher's Day is not just like that!
Now it will be the most delicious!!

(together):

Together we wish you...

Former model:

Look beyond your years

Old chemist:

Shine with your mind for decades,

Grandmother:

Live long and without troubles!

1 hero:

Let's play, guys?!
DO NOT look at your notebooks!

2nd hero:

Let's put things in order now,
Let's tell you riddles!

Puzzles:

1) What now? Which lesson?
And when does the bell ring?
What influences effort?
This is our... (schedule).

2) Who is chasing you around the hall?
Is it hardening little by little?
Without him you are like without hands,
Who is this? Our... (physical supervisor).

3) Who teaches you “Hurray!”?
Who wishes you well?

Who is your guardian angel?
Of course, this is... (teacher).

1 hero:

Well we've said it all
On Teacher's Day, with all my heart,

2nd hero:

They showed a mini-scene -
A small piece of life.

3 hero:

We are all grateful to you,
For warmth, love, work,

4th hero:

You have invested in us,
We were worried more than once.

5th hero:

You left a mark on us,
They became like this because of you.

1 hero:

There are no better teachers.
Please accept poems from us.

5th hero:

We wish you all the best,
May you pursue success!

1 hero:

Let bad weather pass you by,
There will always be a lot of happiness!

(The madman tears off his pajamas, and underneath he is wearing a classic formal suit);

(music plays, heroes leave).

Did you like the funny skit for Teacher's Day? PUT ON YOUR PAGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS!

Olesya Emelyanova

A skit about a teacher

Duration of the scene: 15 minutes; number of actors: from 4 to 8.

Characters:

teacher
Excellent student Kruglova
Loser Petrov
C student Barankin
Doctor Kruglova
Cook Barankin
Savage Petrov
Host (live actor)

The stage is empty. The Leader comes out.

Leading

That's what a mystery I am
I will puzzle you all:
He's nothing less than family
It means for kids.
He will tell them everything
No matter what they ask him,
A special home for him
Autumn opens.
Speeds and noise there
He's a limiter.
It’s not difficult for us to guess,
Who is he?

Spectators

Teacher!

The Teacher comes out from behind the scenes. The presenter and audience applaud.

Presenter (to viewers)

Come on, clap harder
Is it not enough strength?

The presenter applauds very strongly, often and loudly.

Teacher (to the Leader)

That's enough, don't take your hands away!
(to the audience)
Hello guys!
About your profession
I'll tell you with pleasure.
I give all of myself to her.
Even on Saturdays.
No one needs me more
Will never.
I work hard so that the children
People grew up!
I teach them to read, write,
Speak beautifully
Count without a computer
Apples and plums.
I help you become smarter -
If you don't study,
The real savages
You can transform.
Now the age has come:
No knowledge - fired.
Who has become at least someone in life,
He studied at...

The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.

Spectators

School!

teacher

Set a good goal in life -
The school will show the way
So stupid your briefcase
Bury on the beach.
School is a temple of knowledge,
The grave of nonsense!

Leading

Tell me what's there
Cute little ones are waiting!

Teacher (strictly)

That's what we'll call them
Grandma and mom
At school they all have to
Become…

The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.

Spectators

Students!

Petrov and Barankin run onto the stage and fight with briefcases.

teacher

Hey Petrov! Barankin, hey!
Don't get killed for a moment!

Petrov and Barankin run away from the stage.

teacher

It's a bunch of kids
They call...

The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.

Spectators

Cool!

Leading

How do children know
With whom and where to study?

teacher

Classes are given names
It's hard to get lost:
First "A" and First "B"…
Everything is easy and simple.
Mine, for example, is the Third "G".

The teacher shows a sign with the name of the class.

Leading

teacher

Seriously!

Leading

Calling a number with a letter
The whole class is dishonest!
Why not call
Somehow interesting:
For example, beetles, marmots,
Robots, dragons...

Teacher (instructively)

This is not a camp by the river,
Let them play at home.
Sometimes strictness is needed
There are reasons for this:
We must educate
In children...

The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.

Spectators

Discipline!

The bell rings.

Presenter (scared)

What else is this?

teacher

Call!
The first one is the best!

Leading

It’s only a miracle I didn’t go deaf -
Just a real devil!
You can hear it even on the porch!

teacher

He will remind you on time
About the beginning and the end
Every...

The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.

Spectators

Lesson!

teacher

I'll show you now
How is the lesson going?
Third "G"! Go to class!

Excellent student Kruglova comes onto the stage, followed by Petrov and Barankin.

Petrov (sadly)

All! End of freedom!

Petrov pulls Kruglova’s pigtail.

Kruglova

Ay! Let me go! Leave me alone, fool!

Petrov (cheeky)

Neither yesterday nor tomorrow!

Petrov again pulls Kruglova’s pigtail. Kruglova tries to hit him with her briefcase, he tries to run away. The teacher stops him.

Teacher (strictly)

Stop running. It's time for you
Sit down again...

The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.

Spectators

Desks!

Three desks and a board appear on the stage. The students take their seats; when their names are mentioned, they stand up and immediately sit down.

teacher

So! Kruglova...

Kruglova (loudly)

teacher

Petrov...
And Barankin...

The teacher takes out and opens the class magazine.

teacher

Farther away
I need students
Register in…

The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.

Spectators

Magazine!

teacher

Everything in it needs to be celebrated,
Apart from excuses.
I see you, Petrov, again
Didn't solve the assignments.

Petrov (indignantly)

Why me all the time?

Teacher (fun)

You are the star of the week!
Where is the notebook, my love?

Petrov

The crocodiles ate it!
I hit them on the head.

Barankin (with bated breath)

What are they?

Petrov

Teacher (impatiently)

Stop lying! Go to the blackboard
And solve the problem.

Petrov gets up and walks dejectedly to the board.

teacher

Don't be mad at the plot:
Over a sweet conversation
We drank tea at the Petrovs'
Eight crocodiles.

Brankin and Kruglova giggle.

Petrov

You're all lying!

teacher

And one
I violated etiquette
Ate Petrov's notebook and
I even ate a cup.
Now, Petrov, tell me,
How many whole cups?
And write down the decision
On the board we...

The presenter gives the audience a conventional sign.

Spectators

Chalk!

The teacher gives chalk to Petrov.

Kruglova (raises her hand)

Can I? Well, can I?

teacher

Stop it, Kruglova!
Ask one you
The school is not ready.

Petrov (in a round whisper)

Tell me!

Kruglova (in principle)

No way!

Barankin (whispering)

Kruglova (loudly so that Petrov does not hear Barankin)

Petrov (with annoyance)

Teacher (sternly to Barankin)

Don't tell me, or else
I'll take you out of class.

Barankin

It's mean not to help a friend,
Everyone knows this!

Teacher (instructively)

If you don't mind helping!
Do it honestly:
He didn't understand - explain
Friendship is power!
If you're a friend, then win
Lying crocodiles!
Make sure your friend does it himself
I solved everything,
And he came to us with a notebook -
We don’t bite lies!
What, will you take it on?

Barankin

It's too difficult!

Kruglova (vindictively)

Reeducate him
Simply impossible!
He is a slacker and a fool!

Petrov approaches Kruglova and pulls her pigtail, she hits him on the head with a textbook.

teacher

Stop fighting!
Did you count or what?
How many cups?

Petrov

Twenty!
Right?

teacher

Unfortunately, no!

Petrov

teacher

Wrong again.
Who will give the correct answer?

Kruglova holds out her hand.

teacher

Speak, Kruglova!

Kruglova

Barankin (grumpily)

Well, what did I say!

Petrov

It should have been louder!

teacher

Where is the diary, Petrov?

Petrov (defiantly)

Forgot
In the mouth of a crocodile!
He chewed it up
Spit it out in the trash!
You can go to your magazine
Give your deuce!

Presenter (indignantly)

That's who I would slap
"Count" for behavior!

teacher

No, my profession
Requires patience!

Petrov

Be patient, be healthy:
Apples plus plums!

teacher

You are behaving, Petrov,
Not very nice!

Petrov (passionately)

Here we go, school! Get it!

Petrov throws his briefcase at the board.

Petrov (to the teacher and class)

You are bothering me!
Prince, without leaving the stove,
Emelya has become a fool!
So even without school I
I'll settle down well
Instead of a stove I have
There will be a whole train!
I'll set up a dacha for myself
And the rocket garage,
Will have its own circus performer...

teacher

Yes, it’s not harmful to dream!
Me, friends, already now
Just a guess
What will become of you
So in twenty years.

Children at their desks disappear. Instead of them, adults appear - Doctor Kruglova, Cook Barankin and Savage Petrov, overgrown with hair and looking like a homeless person.

Doctor Kruglova

I am now a famous doctor
I cure everyone's illness!

Cook Barankin

I know how to bake a loaf of bread -
It's healthier than medicine!

teacher

Well, what have you become, Petrov?
What have you achieved?

Savage Petrov (with a sigh)

Degraded and now
Turned into this!

Doctor Kruglova (horrified)

He has fur on his body!

Savage Petrov (plaintively)

It's getting worse every day.
I am who I am
Society doesn't need it.
None of me at all
It worked out in life.
I really regret that
Didn't go to school.
Now I’m not happy about it myself -
The finish is lower than the start.
I wish I could get it all back
Sit down at your desk again.

teacher

Do you want to take me to first grade?

Savage Petrov (with hope)

Can? Are you seriously?

teacher

Yes! Learn to no one
It's never too late!
Here: textbooks, briefcase...

The teacher takes out and gives Dikar Petrov his briefcase.

Savage Petrov

Yes, now I know
Pike and pechek for Emel
Doesn't happen in life!
I'm too lazy to grow overgrown
I'll stop using wool.
I'll pass my exams again
I'll become a man!

The bell rings.

teacher

So the bell rang.
It's time for us to say goodbye.
Our lesson is over,
Before it even started.

Doctor Kruglova and cook Barankin give the Teacher bouquets of flowers.

Doctor Kruglova

To you! For helping
Bring us out into the public!

Cook Barankin

We remember and love you
We'll be here for a long, long time!

The teacher leaves. The presenter, spectators and heroes on stage applaud her.

Teacher's Day

1 Vedas. Hello!!!
2 Vedas . - Today is an unusual day!
3 Vedas - Today is an amazing day! Today...
All: Holiday!!!

1 Vedas . Glad! and Long-awaited!

2 Vedas Today is the holiday of those who proudly bear the title of teacher, master, educator!

3 Vedas Thank you, dear teachers, for being you, for being who you are, and we love you all very much!
ALL: Happy holiday!
1st presenter:

October, as before, is painted with gold
The edges of heaven, forests and fields
To us again through all everyday worries
A bright holiday is coming - Teachers' Day!

2nd presenter:

For mentors - poems and songs;
The sparkle of inspired lines,
The wisest of all professions,
With the proud title Teacher!

3 Ved. Strict and affectionate,
Wise and sensitive,
For those who have gray hair at the temples,
For those who have recently left the walls of the institute,
To those who told us the secrets of discoveries,
Teaches you to achieve victories in work -
To everyone whose proud name is “teacher”,
We dedicate the concert.

Song "Happy Teacher's Day"

1 Vedas Every person chooses a profession not with his mind, but with his heart. Whether this is true or not in our school, we suggest checking it out!

2 Vedas We invite you to answer 9 questions and find out whether you are a real teacher or not! Your answer to the question will be your applause!

3 ved . So, let's get started. You carry everything from home that may be useful to you at your workplace.

1 led. You bring into the house a lot of useless things from the point of view of normal people, your family and friends, who watch with fear how the mountain of waste paper inevitably grows in your apartment.

2 ved. Your family has been sacrificed for education; they also work with you, although they are not on the staff. They work, quietly feeling sorry for you. Your child's fate is to wait. At the office, the teacher's room, at home, wait patiently and silently.

3 ved . People who are far from educated do not understand when you talk about your 30 children and 45 parents.

1 ved . There is always more money in your purse than your own (for an excursion, for curtains, posters, etc., etc.).

2 ved . Half the neighborhood greets you and the same half evaluates how you are, where you are and who are you with?

3 ved . You know how to paint, glue, hammer nails, repair furniture, work until the morning, persuade, forgive, go to work sick and get into someone else's position.

1 ved . You don’t know how to: rest wisely, say “no” to the administration, walk past book counters.

3 ved. You just can’t decide whether to accept congratulations or condolences from September 1st.

1. Ved We thought that our school employs real teachers, masters of their craft!

2 Vedas Teachers! They are like a light on the way
What a huge heart you need
Have it in your chest to bring light to people
So that his trace cannot be erased forever!

A group of students (6 students) runs onto the stage. They line up and, one by one, begin to speak with inspiration and elation:

1.- Our dears!

2.- Favorite!

3. - Dear!

4.- Revered!

5. - Adored!

Enthusiastic (continues). Beloved, unforgettable, wrapped up, muzzled, bungled...

1. (interrupts, covering the Enthusiastic’s mouth with his hand). What are you talking about? (Strokes him on the head and explains to the audience.) I was completely stunned, poor thing. He started talking.

The group of students continues:

Our dear teachers!

We love you!

We respect you!

We honor!

We love it!

Enthusiastic (continues with inspiration). We bow, admire, admire, wonder...

1. (interrupting). Maybe stop fawning?

Enthusiastic (persistently And stubbornly). No way!

Group of students (continue one by one):

Yes! We understand how difficult it is for you!

With us, the unlucky ones!

Unassembled!

Impolite!

Inattentive!

Enthusiastic (interrupts and continues alone).

Lazy, loud, talkative, rabid...

1. (indignantly). Well, I'm tired of it! (Clamps the mouth of the Enthusiastic.

1st reader: To those who introduced us to first grade,

2nd reader: Who does everything for us,

3rd reader: To those who gives knowledge,

4th reader: Who's taking us to the theater?

5th reader: To those who give us grades,

6th reader: Who will not leave us in trouble,

To those who don't let you be lazy,

Who will teach us to work,

Who brings light to people

All in chorus: Hello student!

(A fairy-tale melody sounds, the curtain slowly opens, two buffoons appear, the projector shows an image of a fairy-tale palace, they sing to the music from the film “Ivan Vasilyevich Changes His Profession”)

Buffoon 1. The fairy tale suddenly knocked on the door in silence.

Buffoon 2. The holiday has come to school, I believe it and I don’t believe it.

Buffoon 1. A leaf fell, dawn floated, autumn came.

Buffoon 2. How many days and nights were you carried?

Buffoons(together).

Suddenly, as in a fairy tale, the door creaked.
Everything became clear to me now.
How many years have I been arguing with fate?
For the sake of this meeting with you.

(The phonogram of their film “Plasticine Crow” plays, they continue to sing. Video “School 1970”)

Buffoon 1. One simple fairy tale

Buffoon 2. Or maybe not a fairy tale,

Buffoon 1. Or maybe we want to tell you a story.

Buffoon 2. In one wonderful school,

Buffoon 1. Or maybe not at school,

Buffoon 2. Or maybe still at school?

Buffoons (together). What's in Saving?

Buffoon 1. We gathered for a holiday,

Buffoon 2. Or maybe for a matinee,

Buffoons(together).

To congratulate everyone on the holiday,
All, all teachers!!!

(The Storyteller appears in the tower window.)

Storyteller. Believe it or not, but live in this world Galina-Krasa, director of the palace school. And beautiful maidens live in her kingdom, like swans, albeit a little, and how smart they are, it’s impossible to describe in a fairy tale.

(the tortured swan teachers come out “Hymn to the Teacher” to the tune “I love you life.”)

Now that the day is over, you are walking out of school tiredly.
There is so much to do ahead, even a day is not enough for this.
Every hour, every moment there are continuous worries in front of you.
You are a teacher and you knew that this work was not easy.

How many of them, mischievous, naughty, stubborn, cheerful
I met in class, realizing that life is a school...
Sparing no effort, sometimes waiting for change,
I walked along the same road that always led to school.

There are many roads in the world, but your choice was not accidental.
Feeling kindness and arriving at my native threshold,
You will understand that our school will always be with you.
Every life lesson is learned here, becoming your destiny.

Storyteller. There is a rumor about this kingdom that this is the most wonderful kingdom in the Makeevsky state. And they had a holiday, and guests came from all the volosts.

Queen.

The English ambassador arrived for our morning pickle,
And in our house we have snacks - half a slice and mosol.

(Calls Ivan)

Get ready Vanka for the journey and get us some for the holiday
And artists, and gypsies, oh! Get someone!
If you fail, who is to blame, I will order your execution!
State business - you catch the thread!

Vanka .

There’s something I don’t understand, given my mind
I’m sipping my tea without bast soup, trying to figure out what’s what.
It turns out that all the politics in the country are on me
To make sure everyone is happy, I will provide for the guests!

Storyteller. The queen's word is harder than crackers. And our Vanya wandered off to look for happiness and plunder grief. But where to go - we need Vanya. Necessary. Ivan walked around the entire southern district, tired, no urine, and it was already nightfall. Lie down.

(Under the tree.)

And he has a dream...

1 presenter:(catching up) Shh...Quiet! There's a teachers' council there!!!

Scene "Teachers' Council". Teacher's room. Teachers are sitting, some are checking notebooks, some have taken out a cosmetic bag and are fixing their makeup, some are leafing through fashion magazine etc.

Head teacher: Well, dear colleagues, let’s discuss our, so to speak, problems

1 teacher (standing in a shockproof helmet):
I love children, friends, always,
But knowing their jokes,
I get defensive sometimes
And I cover my head.
After all, they will come in handy more than once
Teachers are brains,
And so I enter my class
I, in spite of fear!

2nd teacher (standing, hugging a gas mask):
This is my gas mask,
Only with him can I go to class!
I have been teaching chemistry for a hundred years,
But still - there is no peace!
They'll blow it up here, they'll blow it up there,
And not five minutes will pass!
I'm sitting in a gas mask,
And I lead the children in it!

3 teacher (holding a bag of sweets):
Rastil A image of a good man.
After all, I know Yualways for sure
That kids love chocolate
And I’m the guys’ favorite
Not only do I feed with knowledge,
After all, I love children from the bottom of my heart.
To the one who has learned his lesson,
I always put candy in my mouth!

4 teacher (holding a soccer ball):
In physical education, without difficulty,
There will be order forever!
Fell, did a hundred push-ups,
Then crawl to your dusty classroom!

5 teacher (holding a class magazine):
And my answer is simple,
The school director is in front of you!
And if I just want,
I will immediately expel you from school,
The kids read together
All the books assigned at school!

Here are my head teachers standing

They can give you advice...

Head teacher: If you have just recently
They gave me a class where there is no order,
Don't despair too much!
After all, they pay for this too!
Even if it’s small, it’s stable!

2nd:

Enter class with confidence
And then hit it hard
On the table so that it shakes!
And start calmly
With a mournful voice
Talk about something important
For example, about behavior.

1st:

Well, what if this is it
It doesn't reach the kids
Then think about it in a moment,
Who is the “boss” here?
Tell him: “Shouldn’t you and I go out?
For a heartfelt conversation
In this quiet corridor?

2nd:

If subtle hints
Have no results
In order to promote
Educational process
Call dad to school
With or without mom,
Ask about health
About success at work,
Praise, ask
Influence the evil child.
You can do it right this very hour!

1st:

And when a happy boy
Forgetting about all the fun,
Rubbing my buttock
Yours will leave the office,
Don't worry, calm down:
The class will immediately begin
Peace, quiet and grace!
2:

And now there is a little left:
Remember and understand the code.
And in my work at school
Never use!

Director: Teachers, now is in store for you

Take an oath and fulfill my commandments

Music teacher- I swear by the piano

And "Moonlight Sonata"!

Labor teacher- I swear on a chisel

And a shovel!

Biology teacher- I swear by the roots

And a microscope!

Physics teacher- I swear by the dynamometer

And a strobe light!

Physical education teacher- I swear by the crossbar

And a horse!

Teacher

foreign language- I swear by my fattest

dictionary!

Geometry teacher- I swear by the protractor

And a theorem!

Algebra teacher- I swear on the coordinates

And the system!

Teacher of Russian language– I swear by morphology

And punctuation!

Chemistry teacher- I swear by oxidation and stormy

Reaction!

A history teacher- I swear by the history of the ancient

Peace!

Drawing teacher- I swear by the preparation, the stroke

And on the dotted line!

Literature teacher- I swear by the verse and the novel,

And a fairy tale!

Geography teacher- I swear on the globe

And a pointer!

“Listen to the director, he knows better how many bad marks to give and to whom,”

“Before you give a bad mark, think about who will correct it,”

“Respect the head teacher: otherwise he will make so many “windows” that you won’t see the light,”

“Be less upset, rebuild more”

“Don’t blame the director for all the sins; there is also the Education Department,”

“Don’t envy young teachers: they are so far from retirement.”

Student to teachers: We swear, we swear, we swear

Laughed!? And now on to the lessons! And work, work...

Storyteller: Ivan turned over on the other side and heard... The dove sings...

Song

(Ivan wakes up.)

Ivan.

Either the devil is zealous now, or the air is drunk now,
Maybe there's something wrong with my ear,
Was such a law announced from the royal windows,
So that birds speak human language.

Blueberry.

Don’t commit robbery, Ivan, but take me with you.
When you take me into your little room, I will become your destiny.
I will sing, dance, play and shine at the festival
And you can play the violin and entertain everyone.

Vanka.

What kind of parable is that - I don’t understand, okay - get into my bag.
We'll figure out who's going where and what's what on the spot.

(They walk through the forest to the music.)

I walked all day, but good luck at least a shadow
There are no artists in the area, everything is pure rubbish.

Blueberry.

Don't freak out and don't whine, there will be a holiday, there will be a feast.
Come on, stand before me, Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(They jump out of the chest.)

T.K. Why are we not buffoons, we can do everything: dance and sing

F.F. And we will show all the successes that cannot be seen in a dream

T.K. Don't judge us harshly, Vanya, we're trying our best.

F.F. What should you show teachers this holiday?

Together. Songs and dances are a miracle, it’s easy here.

dance

Storyteller: Ivan put the dove and the buffoons in a bag and went on. He walked, he walked - he was tired. He sees that the hut is standing. I looked out the window, and there...

Scene "Desdemona".

There is a table on the stage, a chair next to it. Othello nervously paces around the stage. Desdemona is approaching.

Othello:

I hear steps. Finally at home
My wife will cook dinner for me.
I'm fucking hungry, Desdemona!

Desdemona:

Othello, I don't have lunch.

Othello:

I really have no time for jokes, my dear.
Our refrigerator has been empty for a long time!
I'm just dying of hunger...

Desdemona:

But I was working, not at the cinema!

Othello:

What's in your bag? (takes a bag, takes out notebooks)
Notebooks again
Did you bring it home?
Woe is me!

Desdemona:

I see that your nerves are not all right,
You even screamed more than once in your sleep! (Sits down to check notebooks)

Othello:

Listen, Desdemona, really
It would be nice to have a snack now!

Desdemona:

Othello! We've already eaten today.
And it’s even harmful to eat at such a late hour!

Othello:

Listen, I have a job too,
But I can’t think of anything because I’m hungry!

Desdemona:

Oh, honey, come up with something, really.
Read the newspaper! And hunger will disappear.

Othello:

My hunger will not be satisfied. Really
Is it so difficult for you to go to the store?

Desdemona:

I thought I'd come by at the end of the week.
But you could buy something yourself!
You're disturbing me, honey. By the way,
So little time left, dear!
I will be on duty at school until nightfall:
My class is walking at the disco.

Othello:

What disco?! What kind of joke?!
Our family is about to be destroyed!

Desdemona:

Oh, you know, you can’t be a slave to your stomach.
I ran, my class was waiting for me.

Othello:

You run away from home like hell.
You work is more important, not family.
Have you prayed at night, Desdemona?
Die, unfortunate one, die, my love!

Desdemona:

No, honey, I'll run to work,
You go to the store and buy this, that, that...
I'll come back in the evening and we'll eat together!

Storyteller: Vanya has seen enough, heard enough... And I got hungry. I looked to the left - nothing, looked to the right - there was a store of amazing things, Vanya stood in line.

The curtain opens. On the stage there are tables with objects laid out on them - experimental goods. There are two sellers at the tables with goods - active, cheerful, very kind.

1st seller (joyfully). And here is the first visitor! Please pass!

teacher (timid, nervous, unsure, glasses on the tip of her nose, which she adjusts all the time; she shudders at everything, constantly turns around in fear, fiddles with something in her hands, speaks quietly and politely) . Hello. Excuse me, did I get to the store?

2nd seller (helpful). Glad to serve! What do you want?

Teacher. I would like some... help...

1st seller (broad gesture towards the items). Please! Widest choice.

Teacher (joyfully grabs the first thing that catches her eye - a broom). Maybe this?

2nd seller (trying to take away the broom, they are fighting). Give it back! (dismissively). This is an outdated model...

Teacher (pleadingly). What do you recommend? After all, there was no sweet spot with the guys.

1st seller (energetically). Here! Especially for you: neat tweezers (shows) to pluck out loose tongues.

The teacher recoils.

2nd seller. And here is the kit (shows): hammer and nails for crucifixion on the most obnoxious desks...

Teacher (rolls her eyes, screams). No! No!

1st seller (to another). Look, I think she's too impressionable.

2nd seller. There's no point in doing this at school...

Teacher (pleadingly). Please... watch... something else

1st seller. Well, then - this is it: absolutely harmless and very effective!(puts out toilet paper rolls) Give a gift to a colleague - an English teacher.

Teacher (suspiciously). Toilet paper? Excuse me, how is this?

2nd seller. It’s very simple: send the student with this roll to the toilet and let him sit there until he uses it all, studying English language. You see, here the alphabet comes first, then the words(unwinding the paper) then verb tenses.

Teacher. Great idea! Is there such a guide for any other subjects?

1st seller. F formulas in mathematics, dates in history, complex topics in the Russian language... That's all for now, but we continue to work in this direction.

Teacher (joyfully). I take it, I take it, I take it! Oh! (stops) But if everyone sits in the toilet, who will we work with?Can I watch something else?

2nd salesman (helpful) . Please please!

1st seller. Here it is, just for you(starts to take it out from under the counter). "Straitjacket"! gags of various modifications, for example, a dummy gag. “Laxative water”, “Healing noose”...

The teacher can no longer speak, she only hums and shakes her head negatively.

2nd seller. Well then we don't know. You won’t please... Maybe a set “to help a beginning teacher”?

Teacher ( With hope). What's in this set?

1st seller (inspired). A gun for shooting the most impudent, a grenade for neutralizing the most obnoxious, a gas canister for self-defense, a fishing rod for catching...

(with these words Vanya runs out of the store)

Dance about the martyr teacher

Storyteller: Vanka got scared, ran away as far as his eyes could see and found himself in an unknown clearing. Sees an unknown vessel. Looking around, he approached the vessel with caution and took it in his hands.

A loud sound like an explosion, a genie appears.
Gin:
What kind of life is this! I just wanted to go online and send a letter to brother Hottabych, but again someone has problems...What do you want, my dear?
Vania:
Gosha!!! Stunning...Gin! Real…
Gin:
Well, what kind of people are they?! They can’t believe their eyes... The real me, the REAL ME!!! Come on, make a wish!
Vania:

And what can I do, exactly what I want?
Gin:
Well, right! Got up to speed...As expected - three wishes and no more!
Vania :
So, why come up with something like that...Oh! Well, I am a genius! I always dreamed of changing my math teacher's hairstyle!...ha ha ha! Exactly my first wish - I WANT Mary Ivanovna to become bald right now! What a joke!
Gin:
Please! (snaps fingers)
Behind the scenes, the heart-rending scream of a frightened teacher is heard.
Vania:
Wow! Judging by the scream - it works!!! So, why come up with something so big! So that all teachers get...Oh! My second wish is:
WANT -
So that suddenly teachers become, like, well, like me!
They expressed themselves just as coolly,
had fun and laughed
they forgot to speak competently
and they taught us slang!”
Gin:
“Be as it will be, as you wish,
Since you're dreaming about it -
Tomorrow all teachers
They will surprise you!”

Jin and the student leave the stage.
Voice behind the scenes:"Tomorrow has arrived."
To the stage under " "Vchitelka-microdistrict of our resident" teachers come out. To maintain intrigue, teachers may not turn their backs for a while, since they have signs attached to their backs - “chemistry teacher”, “physical teacher”, etc. Teachers smoke and laugh loudly. The bell rings. They shout “OH, WE'RE LATE!” and run backstage.
Voice behind the scenes:"Chemistry lesson".
Appears on stage chemistry teacher, who starts teaching the lesson:
“Hey, darova!”
The topic of our lesson is...
"Subject!" - hey, that doesn’t sound bad...
In general, we took those flasks
And that powder over there,
Right now we'll arrange it for the school
A nice little shock.
Pour, add
And let's shake it up a little...
The light goes out and there is an explosion.
The light comes on, the teacher is covered in soot, his hair stands on end.
Damn, it didn't work out again
We'll start all over again tomorrow! (runs off stage)

G voice behind the scenes: “Physical education lesson.” Jumps onto the stage on a skipping rope Physical education teacher:
“Get up! Shorts pulled up!
Let's wake up already!
And... to the left, not... to the right
Ivanov's journal for me.
Leafing through the magazine: “Stones,
Scissors, paper, one, two, three...
Ivanov, high five for you!
Just kidding, only three!
What did you say? Fell, did push-ups!
So, Kobylina comes to me.
Where did we go for a walk last time?
You see, there’s “ne” in the magazine.
I'm not in the mood for jokes today
I'm not myself today
In general, everyone changed their clothes
And let’s go home already!” (looks at his watch, leaves the stage)

Enters the stage literature teacher:
“No, well, what’s wrong?!”
Why are we all sitting?
Let's open your books
Let's hang out a little now!
So, Yesenin, Blok, Turgenev
Mayakovsky and Tolstoy.
What should I read today?
The choice is so great.
What did you say to Pyatrenko?
Classics for trash, right?
Came out, followed by Karpenko
What kind of wild gang?!
I remember a wonderful moment
I remember this one, I don’t remember this one.
While you're reading The Thunderstorm,
And I went to the teachers' meeting. (adjusts glasses, combs hair and leaves stage)

Director:
"Well? What the hell are the problems?
Who's got who already?
Let's discuss this topic
And - home, I'm so tired!
I'm on the Internet today
I found classmates
Mail, dog, dot Petya
I plunged headlong into it.
This is what my colleagues will say:
Tomorrow is a day off.
No, why wait so long?
Tomorrow is graduation!

All teachers in chorus:
“Yo, that’s cool, we’re happy!”
They dance and have fun. They go backstage dancing. Jin and the student come out.

Gin:
“Well, are you happy?
All right? What more do you want?
You have the right to make a wish,
Another wish, you know?”
Vania:
“I thought, what a mess!
Well, what have I done?
What a stupid fool I am
It was weird.
Teacher is not fun
The teacher is not a laughing matter,
Listen Genie, I want it again
Get your desire back.
I want to go to college
Then who,

How can the teacher not help me?!
Who will teach us high things,
Striving to become smarter, isn't it cooler?!
Bring them back to their senses, I beg you.
I value them very much!”
Gin:
“Well, what’s good?
Do you want anything else?
Vania:
"I want to congratulate them
Happy such a wonderful holiday,
May they forgive me
A naughty student!
May their dreams come true
One dream - cherished,
Give them what they want
Something specific!”

Sounds song "Million US Dollars" " Teachers come onto the stage, lining up in one line. The genie gives them bags of money (“RUBLES”, “EUROS”, etc.) Everyone laughs. After a while, the teachers put down their bags and come to the edge of the stage,Vania says the final words:
Well, but seriously...
You can get pennies
Giving your heart to us
Just to hear from the heart:
“Thank you teachers!”

Song of the kids

Storyteller.

Spun around, caught in the autumn leaves
Our Vanka was hit by large hail a long time ago... (Pause)
The guy sees that it’s not a dream - it’s reality before his eyes
There are so many people in front of him beyond words!!!

(A gypsy camp appears with a song to the tune of “A in the restaurant.”)

We'll put things aside
And let's go all out with you
About your favorite teachers
We'll have a good talk
Let them have been teaching for a long time
We know that they love us all
Let many years pass anyway
Of course, we won't forget about you

Chorus.

And in our school, and in our school
There are a lot of different subjects
And choose whatever your soul wants
And somewhere here heaven begins.

(They dance a gypsy dance.)

We say thank you to you all

Thank you for being with us

After all, without you it would be much sadder

After all, only orators can speak like you

After all, only fashion models on the catwalk can look the way you do.

After all, only your closest and beloved people can sympathize and understand as you do.

Together: THANK YOU!

Vania.

Oh yeah meeting, so I managed to get you all
That, FAQ cannot exist in this world at all.
Why do you spend your life in vain when you're sad and mopey?
Maybe you can dance and sing for the queen without arguing?

(Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich run in, interrupting each other...)

T.K. I never oppose useful prospects.

F.F. I'm ready for bees to join the hive, just to join the team

T.K. Give an order and even where, even for the extraction of ore

F.F. I will work hard for nothing without drinking and without water.

T.K. I am good for any business, I can enter any doors.

F.F. I’ll get you whatever you want, even a savvy louse.

Vania.

We have to be on our way by five o'clock every day.
Because they are already waiting for us in that kingdom.

(The queen appears with her retinue.)

Storyteller. And the queen and her retinue meet Vanya and her guests

1st student:

Dear teachers!
Our entire army of students
I could tell you so many words
About the fact that we love you, although sometimes
You are leaving us with a headache.

2nd student:

Let the memory leave only good things,
Let it cause less trouble
That difficult but beloved student,
Who is not used to studying like this.

3rd student:

There will be fewer mistakes in the notebooks,
Wrinkles will only come from smiling,
May luck smile on you,
And let the teacher never cry!

4 student:

Whatever path you are on,
Everywhere above us and always
Alone, but shine brightest of all,
Shine, Teacher's star!

5th student:

A teacher's heart...
Well, what can you compare it to?
With the cosmic galaxy,
Which has no boundaries?
6 student:

Or maybe with the bright Sun,
What gives people light?
With the depths of the sea,
What lies dormant for hundreds of years?

7th student:

No, we won't compare!
And we will say: “Knock,
Teacher's heart
Hope, Believe, Love!”

8th student:

The teacher's reward is
The light of children's enthusiastic eyes,
Ability to think and listen
Nurtured in each of us!

9th student:

Now, perhaps, we will answer,
What does the word “Teacher” mean?
This is Fate and Calling,
Creativity, faith, luck!

Song completion (boys give flowers to teachers)

Fairy tale “How an old man sold a cow” for Teacher’s Day

Alina.

And now, friends, you are in a fairy tale

We cordially invite you!

Teaching, morality

We suggest you find it in it.

Cheer up

We promise everyone today!

Alice.

We present to your attention a fairy tale...

2nd Presenter.

“How competently the old man sold the cow.”

Music "Ivan Kupala", buffoons in bright costumes come out and read the words.

Dasha Ya.

Bonjour, ladies, gentlemen!

Come visit us here!

The miracle fair is on

He invites everyone to visit him!

Christina

Abundance of all fruits,

Delicious, tasty products.

Everything the soul desires

The fair offers you!

Dasha Ya.

You won't be bored here,

They play and sing here!

If they start dancing -

You just can’t take your eyes off it!

Dance

Dima P.

Dear teachers,

Let me ask you:

What's at the fair and bazaar

Would you like to buy?

Maybe the textbook is new

Or a magazine cover?

Or joy, a song, a joke?..

Exactly! I hit the mark!

Christina H.

Three girls without embellishment

They'll tell you. Let's continue

Presentation for you!

Music. The buffoons leave, three girls appear, sit on a bench and have a conversation.

Nastya K

Something has become very boring.

Come on, Thekla, let's ask Marfa -

Is the market expensive now?

How much is the product now?

Masha Sh.

I didn't look at the product -

I looked at Fyodor:

He's on his Boomer

Almost drove me crazy!

Olga G.

"Black Boomer" is cool!

Getting married is so wonderful!

Masha Sh.

Fedor is a great businessman,

Keep up to date with all currency matters!

Fedor and I are a miracle couple!

Olga G.

Mash, don’t you have a fever?!

By the way, I heard they were chatting -

He's buying a cow!

Nastya K

I'm tired of listening to you,

I really want to eat!

They are bringing something tasty!

Oh, they sell watermelons!

Lezginka music. A cheerful Georgian comes out with watermelons - balloons, first he is nice to the girls, then to the teachers.

Georgian.

I sell watermelons

I get it very cheap!

(to the 1st girl.)

Hey beauty, listen:

Come and eat some watermelon!

(to the 2nd girl.)

If you want, my dear,

I'll eat watermelon with you!

(To the third girl.)

Sugar, honey and beauty!

Watermelon is the best food!

He looks at the teachers and goes to them.

Oh, what a beautiful teacher!

I couldn't teach children!

Being a teacher is dangerous

But you look great!

Smile - it’s just joy!

I want to give you some sweetness!

I give you watermelons!

Freely, freely I give!

He throws watermelon balls into the hall and waves to the teachers. The music ends with a phone call, the Georgian takes out the phone.

Georgian.

Fedor decided to call me.

He wants to buy something!

(Talking on the phone.)

Fedya, I’m listening to you.

How's Boomer doing? How are your family?

Have you decided to buy a cow?!

Just so that it is new?!

Take a thousand with you

I'll find a cow!

Phonogram of the song “Thirty-three cows”. The Georgian leaves. Three girl singers come out on one side, and an old man with a cow (two boys under a cape) on the other. As the girls sing, the cow dances and approaches the audience.

Girls (singing).

We are teachers today

Congratulations from the bottom of our hearts!

You are talented, beautiful,

You are glamorously good!

We appreciate your lessons

And we hasten to prove to you,

What do we know like a cow?

This cute cow

This nice cow

You can sell it wisely!

Chorus:

And the cow is ours (3 times)

Simply the best!

And her figure and her gait -

Everything is a wild success!

The choir leaves. The old man and the cow remain.

The phonogram of Seryoga’s song “Black Boomer” plays. Fyodor rides up to the old man on a bicycle (the hero should have bright clothes and appearance). An old man and a businessman are having a dialogue.

Oleg L

I was almost an A student at school!

I know the laws of the market completely!

And if you need to sell something,

Come to me, as I am a businessman!

Alexey Ts.

And I'm a former businessman,

Now I live on pension.

But your mind, attention, memory

I never get tired of training!

The heroes shake hands.

Alexey Ts (solemnly).

Let's fight in an intellectual duel!

Wait a minute, Burenka, in the middle!

Oleg L

Dad, do you want to sell the cow?

Alexey Ts

What can I take from you for it?!

Oleg L

I appreciate your cow

And I’ll pay a thousand rubles for it!

Alexey Ts

Are you completely stunned, my dear?!

And is there a limit to your madness?!

Have you heard about the crisis? Did you go to school?!

Did you teach math there, dear?!

(Pulls out a mathematics textbook and shows it to Fedya and the audience.)

What's a thousand rubles?! It's just zeros!

Please look at things soberly!

Oleg L

What is there to see here?! Look, the sides have fallen in!

Hooves in sneakers, crooked legs...

Alexey Ts

Did you go to school? Did you study Russian there?!

Have you read the poems? Have you crammed poetry?

(Pulls out textbooks on Russian, literature, and a collection of poems one after another. He speaks dreamily, soulfully.)

Look into this cow's eyes!

Eyes are the mirror of our soul...

I remember how at school they gave me an assignment -

Look not at the form, but at the content!..

I’ll only sell a cattle for a euro,

I won’t give Burenushka for a ruble!

Oleg L (confused).

Tell me, what is the milk yield of a cow?

Alexey Ts

We're wasting our time with you.

I'll tell you a secret one-on-one,

What a “time of money”! Do you understand or not?

You taught at school foreign language?

Have your ears gotten used to foreign words?

I remember “willow magistry” forever -

What a person should always learn!

Oleg L

You really confused me, old man!

My ears are not used to foreign words!

Why do I need French? Why English?!

After all, I’m just a simple businessman!

I pay you euros - I was not there!

Old man (takes the money, speaks with contentment).

Learning is light! Ignorance is darkness!

Phonogram of the song "Black Boomer". Fedya hooks the cow to the bicycle, rides away, the old man counts the money.

Alexey Ts (solemnly).

This is what the power of words means! Once - and the cow is sold!

(Approaches the teachers, bows, and speaks with gratitude.)

And I studied the art of persuasion at school!

Thank you, dear, dear teachers!

The girls sing to the tune of the song “Thirty-three cows.”

At the conclusion of our fairy tale

We say thank you

And wonderful teachers

We thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

We wish you all happiness,

Peace, joy, goodness!

We tell you - goodbye,

See you very soon!

It's time for us to start studying!

Chorus:

And study better (3 times)

We invite everyone!

Knowledge is joy!

Knowledge is power!

Knowledge is wild success!

All participants in the fairy tale leave. The presenters come out and continue the program.

1st Presenter.

We will end our performance with a cheerful song!

2nd Presenter.

We wish everyone peace, happiness, light, inspiration!