Free higher education in Russia it is given only once. Entrusting the choice of a profession to schoolchildren, when many graduates are not even 18 years old, is a dangerous decision. According to Rosstat, only about 40% of the population work in our specialty. The numbers are not just hinting, they scream that more than half of the graduates have wasted several years on unnecessary study.
The normal desire of parents is to help the child with the choice. The only question is how to do it.
1. Nurture independence in your child
Unfortunately, it’s too late to do this a year or two before graduation, an independent child had to be raised from birth, but it’s better to start at least sometime. The main rule in career guidance is simple:
The child must choose a profession himself.
Only the person himself knows what he needs. And only in this way the child will not blame the parents if something goes wrong, or think that he missed his chance.
I wanted to be an actor. But dad said that all the actors remain in the regional theater, earn little and drink too much. An engineer is another matter. I was obedient and entered the radio faculty. It was fun at the Polytechnic University, for 6 years I participated in the student spring, but there is zero knowledge in my head, as well as the desire to work as an engineer, even though I have a master's degree. Because of this, all my life I have been haunted by a feeling of unfulfillment and the thought that everything could have turned out somehow differently. Although I understand that dad is right and the work of the actors is bestial. I don’t blame my parents, I blame myself for not doing what I dreamed of.
Maria, editor
2. Understand what professions are in demand
Only they are actually in demand, and not “prestigious”. To understand this, you do not need to read the selections and ratings. It is necessary to open the sites of employment centers and sites that help in finding a job, and carefully look at the vacancies.
Grandpa advised me to choose something related to foreign languages because it's in demand. I tried it, got carried away, so it was easy to follow his advice. Demand faded into the background, because it became interesting. Now I'm at my favorite job in the IT field. Grandpa will not advise bad!
Angelina, translator
Viewing vacancies helps to assess the popularity of the profession, possible salary and requirements for applicants. It may turn out that one higher education is not enough for a dream job: in parallel, you also need to attend some courses.
3. Show professions from the inside
Adults have a large circle of acquaintances with a variety of specialties. Ask your friends to tell your child what and how they do at work. It is important to hear about the most ordinary daily activities. For example, about how you have to write letters, how you work with drawings in real conditions, how you need to come exactly at eight in the morning, how to fill out reports and drink tea with accounting.
Many companies hold open days. At such events, you need to ask the right questions: not about high performance and a great goal, but about the routine, the arrangement of jobs.
We have a vague idea about many professions. It is better to get to know the work better than to spend several years and face a conflict of expectation and reality.
It is also important that health should correspond to working conditions. To understand whether a child will pull or not is possible only in combat conditions, or at least during a frank conversation with a representative of the profession.
4. Find study options in other cities and countries
Often we do not even suspect where and by whom one can work, we have no idea what specialties are available in universities even in neighboring cities, not to mention universities on the other side of the country. And completely in vain.
When it came time to choose who to be, I was only 15 years old. In my city it was impossible to study in the specialty that I dreamed of, and the school had a different profile. In order to enter, it was necessary to transfer to another school, study according to a special program, ride several hundred kilometers to another city and submit documents. I couldn’t do it, and my parents weren’t puzzled, as a result I chose a profession from those that were available nearby. I'm almost 30, I still regret it.
Nastya, copywriter
Of course, this is not a pleasure walk in the park, it is more difficult to keep a student at a distance. But it's worth it if it's a profession for life.
5. Forget Career Guidance Tests
Especially about those that are scattered on the Internet. They are based on banal questions and do not take into account huge amount professions. Choosing the future based on average testing is a hopelessness when you don’t know what to do at all.
6. Do not confuse your favorite lesson at school with your profession.
Standard logic: mathematics is good - go to study as a "computer", literature is good - philologist, if you don't like anything - then let's go to the manager, there is the Unified State Exam in social studies.
This knowledge needs to be tailored to the goal, and not choose a job based on knowledge.
It is necessary to choose a profession in which the child will earn money, and not a favorite subject. Maybe the child likes the teacher, a comfortable classroom and beautiful visual materials, but there will be nothing like that in the profession.
7. Don't force you to go to college
If the child has not yet decided who to be, give him time and the opportunity to think about who to become. Nothing (except for the guys' fear of the army) prevents them from working for a couple of years after school, getting to know real life, devoting time educational courses and find myself. If you can't imagine not studying after high school, try college. There, the exams are simpler, the cost of education is lower, and the finished profession will turn out faster.
My mom made me go to a technical college (I didn't have the right to vote at 15), which I wasn't very happy about, so I tried my best to get me expelled. Did not work out. After college, I myself have already chosen a university and a specialty. Now I don't regret it. After college, I was sent to practice at AvtoVAZ. At the age of 18, I already had a normal position and salary.
Maria, manager
The craze does not lead to anything good. Often a diploma is just a piece of paper, behind which there is not a single gram of knowledge and skills. But there are several dead years and spent hundreds of thousands.
8. Don't force you to finish your studies
In the period from 18 to 23 years, a person grows up sharply, this is the age of formation. Sometimes the eyes open and the student realizes that he is not doing his job: he finds a more interesting specialty, realizes what his goal is. As a rule, this is already a more conscious choice than the decision of yesterday's schoolboy, such a turn will bring more benefits than a dull diploma, because "once you start, finish it."
After the ninth grade, the class teacher advised my mother to send me to a technical school. My parents didn’t really choose, but sent me to a construction school, because all my mother’s colleagues graduated from it. I was told that the main thing is to get a diploma. I humbly agreed. Was exhausted for four years. After that, he independently decided to receive higher education in another specialty. Parents agreed, although they said: “Is it really in vain that you have been unlearned for four years?”
Anton, designer
A diploma of education and a few years of study is not a contract for life. Everything can be changed at any moment. Don't forget to say this to a child who isn't sure he's made his choice.
Caring parent checklist
Briefly about what to do to help the child:
- Do not insist on your choice and let the child decide what to do.
- Tell what professions are needed now.
- Suggest professions that will interest the child, and not those that will be prompted by a test or grade in a magazine.
- Give as much information as possible about different professions.
- Show non-obvious solutions: specialties that have not been heard of in your field.
- Do not force to study for the sake of a diploma: it is better to spend a couple of years on self-determination, and then find the ideal profession.
Did your parents help you choose?
At the age of 14-15, children begin to think about their place in society. And the choice of a profession for teenagers becomes a major issue. But they are not always psychologically ready for self-determination. And then an important role is played by parents who can direct the aspirations of the child in the right direction.
IN adolescence man chooses his future profession
Importance of Choice
Surveys show that many high school students at the age of 15-16 do not yet know what they would like to do in the future. Only 15% of them see themselves in some business, another 15% do not think at all, and 70% do not know what to choose. It is important to convey to a teenager that everyone works in adulthood. And the profession determines the position of a person in society.
People spend many hours of their lives at work. And it brings not only income. First of all, work should develop the personal qualities of a person and not cause him discomfort. It is worth remembering that any occupation has an impact on personality.
It is necessary to make it clear to the son or daughter that a hobby and work are different concepts. Choosing a profession based on hobbies, you can make a mistake. After all, not all animal lovers will be ready to work as a veterinarian. Studying medicine is not for everyone. Or lovers of drawing will not always cope with the work of a fashion designer or designer.
It would be nice if you could attend open lectures in educational institution where the child plans to study. It is worth taking courses related to this matter. Then it will be easier to understand whether your hobby can be connected with your future profession. After all, sometimes a hobby still becomes a favorite job.
Difficulties in choosing a specialization
It is often difficult for a child to decide on a profession. This is directly related to one of the problems of modern teenagers - lack of independence. It develops even in the elementary grades, when parents do lessons with them, take them to tutors. It usually ends in high school, when a teenager protests against parental custody. But he cannot solve his problems on his own, because he does not know how. Children need to be taught independence from an early age. Start by letting them work on their homework.
The main difficulty is the lack of career guidance methods at school. Abroad, from early childhood, they distinguish strengths person by doing a lot of tests. With their help, they determine in which direction the child should be developed. We don't have that. Therefore, the family should help with the choice of profession. Parents, observing children, determine their skills and inclinations. To develop them, you can send the child to the appropriate circle or section.
Currently, many professions are disappearing, and new ones are coming in their place. It is not always possible to find information about them. Therefore, the child hardly imagines what this or that specialization is. This makes it difficult to choose.
In determining the profession, the motivation of the student plays an important role. But it is not always correct. Often children listen to the opinions of others, which may be erroneous. And such a motive as prestige future profession, a very relative term.
It is important to know
In order not to make a mistake when choosing a specialization, you must consider:
- skills;
- favorite hobby;
- area of greatest interest;
- desires and type of temperament.
After separating all hobbies from the desired specialty, it is worth analyzing the character traits of a teenager. After all, a calm person will not be able to work in active areas, and vice versa: it will be difficult for a shy person to cope with constant communication in work.
Children need to be prepared for the choice of specialty. To do this, perform the following steps.
To realize yourself in the most suitable field, it is worth considering the list of professions in demand. This will especially help if it is difficult to make a choice between several options. Of course, the child will give preference to a specialty that occupies a high place in the ranking. It is worth considering the area in which it will move if its popularity decreases over the years.
TOP-10 most promising specialties
Occupations overview
It is worth collecting as much information about the proposed profession as possible: the specifics of the job, where and how to study, income level, required skills, etc. Information can be found in scientific articles, internet. An overview of the specializations will give you a fair idea of them. Will help determine if it is suitable for a teenager.
Articles about choosing professions
You can find a lot of materials that relate to this topic. They cover the issue quite well. From the works of psychologists, you can take note of valuable advice.
Help from a career counselor
If it is difficult to decide for yourself, you can contact a person who is professionally engaged in this matter. There are centers with paid or free services that conduct career guidance tests. Their results give detailed information about professions that are suitable for the child.
Internet tests
If there are no specialists in the district, you can try to choose a profession for the child using special sites. They developed two types of tests:
- help in choosing a specialty;
- helping you to navigate in the chosen specialty.
The first analyze the person. His personal qualities: character traits, inclinations, etc. The latter examine how the chosen case is suitable. The advantage of such tests is the receipt of free information.
Short career orientation test
Parents are the closest people who want only the best for their child. But sometimes their advice may not be the most efficient. After all, adults often try to realize their unfulfilled dreams through children. In order not to harm, you must adhere to some rules.
- Talk and listen as much as possible. It is worth encouraging a teenager to introspection. Ask a lot - what you like, what you are curious about, what you would like to learn, what is fashionable. What are its strengths, weaknesses. No need to impose your opinion. It is worth listening to his preferences. The discussion will help to see how the child understands the chosen profession and whether he is ready to work for its development.
- Avoid criticism. Discussing the choice of a child, you need to find out why he chose this particular profession, what attracts him to it. Do not immediately discard his option. You can look at the situation from the side or put yourself in the place of a child. He does not have enough experience to really evaluate his choice. But part of the responsibility must be shifted to his shoulders. Let him make the choice under your guidance.
- Take into account the real abilities of your child. Often health problems do not allow to master a particular profession. These can be various diseases from flat feet to disability. But even children with disabilities can learn certain specialties. There are more than 100 types of them.
- Prepare your child as much as possible. First work experience children get into the family at an early age. They look up to their parents. They have the same attitude towards work. If a teenager has ideals, knows how to make decisions on his own, then it will be much easier for him to make a choice. Parents are responsible for developing these skills in children.
Conclusion
In such a difficult period of his life, the child should feel support and understanding from parents and others. Listening to yourself and analyzing your strengths, you can choose a worthy profession that will bring pleasure.
PROFESSIONAL SELF-DETERMINATION OF HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS
Tips for parents: how to help a teenager choose a profession
Professional self-determination is the initial link professional development personality. Choice of profession -an important and responsible step in the life of every person because often defines the whole course of lifeperson. Therefore veryit is important to warn at this moment against possible mistakes, to assist in choosing a business to your liking. As a result of the wrong choice of profession, a teenager cannot find his place in life, cannot rise high up the career ladder, which leads to nervous breakdowns and mental disorders, and society loses talented journalists, doctors, engineers, scientists, cooks, tailors...
The professional development and self-determination of a teenager is a multidimensional process. It should connect and get alongthree basic factors:I-want, I-can, I-must.
"Want" - these are desires, interests, inclinations of the individual.
"Can" - these are human capabilities (physiological and psychological, educational resources of the individual).
"Necessary" - these are the needs of the labor market, the duties of a person to society, people, family, etc.
« I-want” should be adequate to “I-can” and take into account the requirements of the social environment “I-must”.
The profile and professional orientation of a teenager includes:
Orientation in the world of professions (what professions exist? And what does a person of a certain profession do?);
Awareness of what is interesting to him and what he can do;
Orientation in the labor market, i.e. in what professions are needed today for the region and the country as a whole;
Orientation in the market of educational services, i.e. that is, where you can get a profession that interests your child.
It is noted that a significant part of adolescents (aged 14-16 years) is afraid of the need to make a decision. For many years of study at school, children were offered mostly ready-made solutions, everything was known in advance and determined by schedules and curricula. And suddenly they offer to decide on such an archival issue.
Someone thinks that the main thing when choosing a profession is the advice of parents? And someone thinks that the main thing is the personal interest of your child?In order to choose the right future business to your liking and on your shoulder, you need to consciously and independently take a position of equal respect for different types of labor.. It's not easy at all. Even many adult working people may have biased, biased and unfair opinions about "other" activities. And the affairs of people can sometimes be unexpectedly diverse: there are people who best time devote their lives to the study of cranberries and are concerned about the preservation of swamps, others see the meaning of their work precisely in draining, destroying swamps.There are no “interesting” and “uninteresting” professions.
Important for parentsbe aware that they only help the child to decide, and are not defined instead of it at all.
Information about professional plans a child can only be received duringcandid conversationwith him, by no means on the run. It is best to start a conversation as if "by the way." At the same time, try to be patient, tactful andsincere interest. If a high school student cannot clearly formulate his plans, he should tryunderstand what it is about.It is important to consider the degree of influence of peers on the decision of the son or daughter and how much such influence is positive. If you are saddened by the professional choice of the child, do not dissuade him and do not forbid him something categorically. tryfind out what the choice is based on.
The conscious choice of a profession (specialty) is based on:
Knowledge about the world of professions;
Knowledge about the chosen specific profession;
Exploring your interests;
Studying your abilities;
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses;
Your state of health;
Accounting for the material conditions of the family;
Taking into account the situation in the labor market.
Necessary:
Decide which path to takeafter grade 9: continue general education in high school or in vocational institutions (technical school, vocational school, etc.). In this part of the choice, the “should” factor is most effective. In today's socio-economic conditions, the following are of paramount importance:
Social order, position in the labor market;
The level of material support of the family;
Opportunities to receive educational assistance;
Conditions of remuneration in this area;
Local infrastructure vocational education(local conjuncture of educational institutions).
Choose that professionand specialtywhat the child wants("I want"). You should familiarize yourself with the chosen specialty, study the requirements that it imposes on a person.
Consider child's abilities"I can"):
Interests, inclinations;
Academic achievement and potential abilities;
Your strengths and weaknesses;
Health status.
When choosing a future profession, you need:
Take account what professions and specialties are neededin the region where you live.
Take account features of the child(interests, inclinations, abilities, temperament, character traits, sensation, perception, representation, memory, attention, thinking, health, self-esteem), help to choose the most attractive and suitable profession.
in detail study this profession, to find out the content and working conditions, as well as the requirements of the profession for a person, to study the possibilities of acquiring a profession and prospects for professional growth. Give the child the opportunity to practically try their hand at this profession.
Compare acquired knowledge about the profession with professional opportunitieschild, if necessary, consult with others (parents, teachers, doctors, occupational consultants). Subject to compliance professional opportunities child to the requirements of the preferred profession to help the child in professional self-determination. In the absence of such a match, study the fallback professional option.
Having chosen a future profession, approve of perseverance in the implementation of professional intentions and mastery of the profession to perfection.
Mistakes when choosing a profession:
Fascination with the external or private side of the profession;
Ignorance of the world of professions, choice "for the company";
Inability to understand one's abilities
Everyone chooses his own profession; You need to listen to advice, but decide and act in your own way.Realize the value of your child's choice (for yourself and for society), help him:
Explore profession and everything connected with it.
Compose togetherprofessional preference chart:
When choosing a profession, a person chooses not only a way to earn money, but alsosocial environment, lifestyle. Suggest to the childthink about what requirements, in his opinion, his future work should meet.
Make up the most detailed list of such requirements(level wages, nature and working conditions, prestige, employment, real employment, etc.).
Write these items in the columns, and in the rows - the names of the professions that seem to the child the most attractive.
When filling out the table, compare the requirement and the profession: if they match, put a plus in this cell, if not, a minus.
Analyze which profession gained the most pluses. Perhaps, around this specialty, the child should look for his vocation. Of course, this method is not the most accurate. But its advantage is that it offers the studentthink for yourself(and maybe for the first time!) over his personal value system, over how he sees his future.
get orientedin a specific socio-economic situation (need, prestige, salary, etc.). Principle"More information":Actively (together with the child!)collect information about the labor market, about new and promising specialties. The annual handbooks can help with this. professional journals as well as internet sites. Sometimes in such publications a child finds a profession, the existence of which he did not know (and his parents did not even know!).
Highlight distant professional goal (dream), correlate it with other life goals (personal, family, leisure).
Build for himself a system of near and medium prospects as stages of movement towards a distant goal. If a high school student only dreams, but does nothing, you need to help him composespecific plan, discussinghow much time does he have and what needs to be done.
Take account when choosing not only a profession, but also the lifestyle associated with it and a suitable type of activity.
Principle " From words to deeds!Do not limit yourself to stories and conversations. We all know that teenagers are quite skeptical about the opinions of adults, especially parents. Much more important is direct experience. If the child is interested in some profession, offer him"rehearse" it in a specialized circle, section, class. The challenge in acquiring an initial professional experience, in assessing the specialty "from the inside".
Healthy ask the child to workin autumn or winter holidays by choosing a specific activity.
To the institute - on a tour. It’s not bad to take your child to an “open day” at a university - and preferably not to one. Do not attach excessive importance to such trips - after all, it is not at all necessary that your youth will want to spend his student years exactly here. Just go to collegeas in a museum - to see, communicate, feel "mine - not mine."
- To choose a profession, you need not only to understand the world existing professions but beforeto know yourself - your personal qualities, abilities, aspirations. A person is more likely to achieve career heights in a business that, on the one hand, is interesting to him, and on the other hand, corresponds to his abilities. For example, it is important for a designer to have visual logic and imaginative thinking, for a journalist - the ability to notice details and coherently express thoughts, for a fitness instructor - physical fitness and organizational skills, etc.
Do not be afraid of search, risk, boldly correct mistakes, return from the wrong path and find if necessary, a backup option in case of failure in the main direction. Help your child prepare"fallback"in case of failure on the chosen path.Discuss alternatives!When talking with a child about a future profession, do not get hung up on one option. As a rule, a teenager himself does not think about an alternate airfield, so it is important for parents to ask him a question: what will he do if he fails to realize what he has planned? Having an alternative can reduce stress and anxiety in a child. You can ask directly: “What are you going to do if you fail to become an economist?” And you can discuss this problem in relation to third parties: “Imagine, Andrei dreamed of becoming a football player all his life, he was preparing for a sports career, but he got injured and had to leave. Now he's thinking about who to be."
Realize difficulties (external and internal) on the way to the intended goals.
chart (plan) ways and means to overcome difficulties.
Thus, the choice of profession is important step in the life of a teenager, at the same time a complex but interesting process that includes different aspects that need to be taken into account. It must be remembered that the choice of a profession often causes serious doubts and difficulties for adolescents, because. at the age of 14-16 they are not yet psychologically ready to make a choice on their own. Therefore, they need the help of adults. At the same time, it should be understood that if it seems to a teenager that he did not choose a profession himself, then he will perceive further studies and mastering the profession as a boring and painful duty. Therefore, it is important: without completely removing the responsibility for the choice made from the child, make sure that he gets the feeling that he decided so.
To help a teenager decide on a career choice, parents need to know exactly how they can push the child to a particular decision.
Indeed, sometimes it is very difficult to understand where care ends and the imposition of one's opinion begins.
We will help you to understand this issue thoroughly. Also, the article will be useful for high school students who have not yet decided what they want.
Why is it important to choose a profession in advance
First of all, it is necessary to understand that work is an integral part of the life of every person, but not paramount.
Since, on average, every inhabitant of the planet spends almost 40-50 hours a week on work, it is important to choose a business that will not cause discomfort, internal contradiction and rejection.
On what should the choice be based?
Why you need to choose a profession
Very often you can hear from high school students: “Where should I hurry? None of my friends have chosen uni yet. When I finish school, I’ll decide everything.”
Unfortunately, this is fundamentally the wrong approach. Of course, no one forces you to choose a future college or even a university in the eighth grade, but you need to think about the future in advance.
Finding a career is not always easy. The thing is that the choice of a profession should be formed in a child over the years, made up of a host of different interests and personal achievements.
If in time to focus on hobbies, talents and skills, then the teenager will not have problems with determining the future profession.
Parents need to help, not hinder the will of the children. But we will talk about this a little later.
It is important to understand that work is not necessarily a matter of life.
But it should be aimed at developing personality traits, and not at making money or indulging other people's whims.
Tip: do not forget that any activity leaves an imprint on the personality. Keep this in mind when choosing a specialization.
Understanding how to choose a profession for a teenager What you need to pay attention to before choosing a future job:
- Favorite activities
- creative skills
- Area of deep interest
- Desire to devote most of your free time to the occupation
If it is difficult to isolate one of the many equivalent ones, it is necessary to separate the activities for shaping the future from the hobby.
Fundamental differences between work and hobby
Having decided to decide on a profession, every teenager must understand one simple truth: work is not a hobby.
At first glance, there is nothing new in this statement, but many young men and women around the world make this mistake - they choose a profession based solely on their hobbies. Let's take an example.
The child loves animals, he likes to take care of them. Based on this fact alone, he chooses the profession of a veterinarian, without taking into account the peculiarities of this medical specialization.
And then he is disappointed when he finds himself not with his beloved animals, but in dusty classrooms with textbooks on anatomy and clinical practices far from romanticism.
Tip: If your child enjoys taking care of animals, consider volunteering at the zoo. Then he will be able to decide: is it a hobby or a desire to connect life with such work.
To distinguish a hobby from something more serious, you can use various circles and extracurricular activities.
That is, to learn how to draw, it is not necessary to become a designer, but if you want to become a fashion designer, you should first enroll in cutting and sewing courses.
So, let's try to form a list of suggestions on how to distinguish a hobby from work, which will help a teenager decide on a future profession:
- Understand how much you love what you would like to do
- Read specialized literature about the profession
- Enroll in career-related courses
- Attend several open lectures on specialization at the university
In fact, the last point is also great for those who have already firmly outlined their future occupation.
Most often, students drop out of school in the first year, because it is fundamentally different from their expectations.
Career Selection Methods
Once all hobbies have been separated from the desired specialty, further tests must be carried out to determine whether the chosen profession suits the teenager.
There are many ways that allow you to quickly and easily find out in which area you can realize yourself. We will tell you about the best ones.
Help from a career counselor
There are many centers that provide career counseling for teenagers.
You can choose both paid and free services. The specialist will conduct a series of tests and determine the most suitable profession.
Tip: you should choose a center carefully, sometimes paid consultants only conduct a superficial assessment.
The consultation consists of several stages:
- Testing
- Assessment of abilities and hobbies
- Results Conversation
After the consultation, the child receives the test results in his hands, which he can then discuss with his parents.
Usually, specialists tell in as much detail as possible about all the features and possibilities of a suitable profession.
Internet tests
If not nearby good center career guidance, you can conduct tests on your own.
To find out how a teenager decides on a career choice, you should look for sites with free online tests.
5+ most popular among them:
- J. Holland's career guidance test. Allows you to determine the type of personality and the professions most suitable for it.
- O.F. Potemkina to determine the orientation to the process or result, work or freedom, altruism or selfishness, etc.
- Determining the type of future profession according to the method of E.A. Klimova. Helps to understand professional interests and choose a profession based on them.
- Map of A.E. Golomshtok allows you to outline the sphere of interests of the individual in the professional sphere.
- Questionnaire of professional inclinations by L. Yovaishi. Assesses the personality's aptitudes for various areas activities: art, technology, working with people, inclinations to mental or physical labor.
Since the tests are written by experienced psychologists, the results are quite accurate in determining the direction in which to develop in the future.
To get the most accurate result, you should pass three or four such tests.
Do not neglect the help of others. By asking everyone the question of how they decided on the choice of profession, you can learn a lot of new and interesting things.
Very often, others allow a teenager to form his own opinion.
And if adults are patient, honest and attentive, then in the future the child will be able to realize himself in a business that he really likes.
After all, it is much more difficult to find your way in life, being an already established person who did not receive support at such a difficult age.
Control or Care: How Parents Can Help
Every child needs advice and help from parents.
And here it is very important to separate in time own desires and unfulfilled aspirations from what will be necessary and right for a young person.
Otherwise, you risk not only ruining, if not life, then the next five to ten years of your son or daughter, but also creating a senseless conflict.
Do not force your child to choose a profession Of course, every parent wants their child to get a decent education, earn good money and get everything that you yourself once dreamed of.
And this is the first and fatal mistake of all dads and moms.
Be honest with yourself and remember how your own parents influenced your choice of profession?
Did their solution help you? Have you become happy? with your life?
Psychologists are begging parents to heed a few helpful tips:
- Do not put children in front of a choice: a favorite business or earnings. Whatever a teenager is fond of, no matter how senseless and stupid his hobbies may seem to you, you can earn money on each of them. If your child is into computer games, tell them about professional player tournaments, the work of a game reviewer, or even a professional developer. All these classes are paid for modern world Very good.
- Listen to your child. Often, children themselves do not know that they have already decided on their future specialty. So, they can draw all their free time, improve their skills, study literature and attend drawing classes, without even thinking about how much a professional artist who graduated from the corresponding school or institute can earn.
- Put yourself in the shoes of a teenager. Never forget that you became an independent person only because you learned from your own mistakes. Avoiding misses is normal. But you will not live his life for a child. Support his undertakings and comfort during failures.
- Discuss. Let the child argue that his choice is balanced and reasonable. Such a discussion (not a quarrel!) will allow you to see how soberly he evaluates his prospects and whether he is ready to work.
Remember that what you need most is understanding However, very often parents forget simple truths and are guided only by their own considerations and ideas. The child is not you, not your property.
Each person is a separate independent person, whose interests must be respected.
Help in non-standard situations
It is much more difficult for parents whose children are forced to experience difficulties in determining their future specialty due to physical problems.
How to help a teenager who has received a disability of 1 or 2 groups decide on a future profession? And what can parents do in this situation?
The first thing to remember for both the child and parents is that disability is not a sentence.
There are more than a hundred professions that children with problems can master. Depending on the possibilities, preferences and aspirations, you can choose several areas of future activity at once.
Of course, it is necessary to take into account individual characteristics child, to help him overcome stiffness and allow him to reveal his full creative potential.
This is a difficult and complex process, but all the efforts aimed at supporting a teenager are more than offset by his happy and fulfilling future.
Tip: be sure to consult a psychologist and take career guidance courses together. This will show the child that he will not be left alone with his problem.
It will be equally useful to communicate with parents who have already overcome similar difficulties.
Read relevant literature, take the initiative.
The most important thing for every teenager is the opportunity to rely on their parents, get support and help, without unnecessary comments and condemnation.
Your main task is to help the child become as happy as possible, realize himself and achieve everything he wants.
It is worth making a little effort - and you will succeed!
We have selected a useful video for you that will tell you how a teenager can choose a profession:
Your child has already grown up, brings good or not very grades from school, strives to borrow his mother's blouse or sprinkle his father's cologne ... At the thought that the time to choose a future profession is approaching, most parents panic. Can he or she do it? Will he choose a money profession or will he hunchback for a piece of bread without butter? Will the institute quit after the first year?
But the main thing is the first independent choice of your child, the first lesson of life: in order to choose something, you need to give up something. Do not deprive him of this step towards independence, do not decide for his daughter or son. But parental support during this period is needed. How to help a teenager with career guidance?
Typical headache for parents:
Your son or daughter is in the clouds, not taking any real steps towards choosing a future profession and university (college). You are afraid that the child will miss the time and be left with nothing. Perhaps your child has already felt some inclinations in himself, but is afraid to take a decisive step - call the admissions office, go to open days, plan to enroll in preparatory courses ... Talk to your child. If so, help him make a specific plan, discuss how much time he has and what needs to be done.
The teenager still cannot decide, does not know who he wants to be. In such cases, it helps to turn to professionals. Psychologists-specialists in career guidance can now be found in almost any city. It is advisable to choose a psychologist who, in his work, is not limited to a formalized test (a child can pass such a test on a computer on his own in an hour), but focuses on a personal conversation, an impression of the child, his story about his own hobbies. It is important that this person is well versed in modern market labor, possessed knowledge of various and a broad view of the process professional self-determination. Indeed, at present, a person can successfully change several specialties in his life.
You do not know anything about the profession that your child has chosen. Getting information about a particular profession is the most important step on the path to career guidance. It is great if you have knowledge about the specialty chosen by your son or daughter. If you are a biologist, and your offspring dreams of studying to be an advertising specialist, you can search together for information about advertising business on the Internet, ask friends, go to an open day at the relevant faculties in several different universities.
If possible, it is very useful to organize a meeting of a teenager with an adult - a representative of his future profession, who could tell him about the intricacies of working in this area. Just make sure in advance that this person is friendly and more or less positive. There are whiners who are ready to talk only about how bad their work is, how low the salary of specialists in this particular field is, to tell in detail about all the minuses of their craft, never mentioning the pros. Such people are found, probably, in every profession. Perhaps their complaints are justified in some way, but all the time I want to ask them a question: “If there are only minuses in your work, why are you still doing this business, why didn’t you change your specialty?” It is unlikely that this person will be able to tell your child something useful, except that it will intimidate and confuse.
He is afraid - "suddenly I will not come up." Give him a chance to try his hand at it. It is clear that your child will not be able to work as a doctor or psychologist as a high school student. But it is quite realistic during the summer holidays, for example, to get an unskilled job in the place where he wants to work in the future - as a promoter in advertising agency, an orderly to the hospital, a courier to the editorial office. Having seen the local cuisine from the inside, a teenager will be able to more realistically approach his choice. Even if your child refuses to work in the chosen field, he will gain invaluable experience: how to behave with superiors, communicate with colleagues.
Here's what you definitely shouldn't do:
Don't force your child to pursue your own unfulfilled dreams. If you ever wanted to do rhythmic gymnastics, become a doctor or a musician - do not push your child along this path so that he fulfills your dream for you. A child is not your extension, but a separate person.
Another tragedy is when parents force children against their will to "continue a professional dynasty." It is clear that in your family being doctors or businessmen is a tradition, a pride. But professional inclinations are not inherited! It happens that a child brought up in a certain professional environment with pleasure chooses the specialty of "fathers and grandfathers" - this is interesting to him and familiar from childhood. Great if that's the case. But if a child admits to you that his soul does not lie, for example, in chemistry, do not force him to enter a university “sanctified by tradition”. Suddenly, a talented artist or a brilliant doctor grows up in your family, who will save many lives, and you will make a very mediocre chemist out of him?.. Hated work can ruin a person's whole life.
Don't bully the child statements like: “What kind of a programmer are you, you have only deuces in mathematics!”, “You have a direct road to a technical school!”, “With such grades, they don’t even take them to the janitors, but you want to be an economist!”. Firstly, by doing this you underestimate his self-esteem. Secondly, this is a big pedagogical miscalculation: if your child really wants to work on creating computer games or become a “big boss” in a large trading company, this can be a great motivation to catch up in some subjects. Calmly explain to a teenager that in order to study as a software engineer, he will need to pass a difficult exam in mathematics, and there will be quite a lot of this subject at the institute itself. At most economic faculties, they also take tests in Russian and English. Therefore, if he wants to bring his dream closer to reality, he will have to work on it. Believe me, these words work much better than the phrase "you will not be taken anywhere."
Never laugh at his romantic dreams become an archaeologist or work in a zoo. You can’t tell a teenager something like “yes, you still won’t succeed”, “this is not serious”, “with such a profession you will have nothing to eat.” People of various specialties
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