We all dream about own business but not everyone is so lucky. And if you are not one of these lucky ones, then you probably have a boss who does not suit you in some way. This is the law of the genre. If you are even a little lucky and your boss is not a fiend, then there are many ways to win his favor. And here are some of them.
Be a nice person
Make yourself irreplaceable
This phrase that you have heard more than once is absolutely true: if you are the person without whom the work is worth, then you are much closer to promotions, bonuses and other cool things than the rest. Think and tell if you are indispensable worker? If not, then it's time to move in that direction. work on the most important projects Learn what makes you stand out from the rest. Extra training never hurt anyone.
Leadership priorities are your priorities
Make everything important to you that is important to your boss. Talk to him about work, get his opinion and let him feel that your work interests are the same. They don't have to be the same, but be sure you know your boss's priorities and know how to implement them.
Keep him posted
Needless to say, your boss will not like it if you do not show him at least occasionally and keep him informed of all events. It might even be worth sending him regular progress reports. This is necessary not only in order to amuse his pride, but also in order to show how productive you are.
Solve the problem before your boss does it
No one is perfect, and your superiors most likely understand this. But if you can fix the problem without disturbing your boss, you will look much better in his eyes. A sure way to achieve this is to keep a work journal that records everything you work on, and then evaluate yourself from the authorities. With a bit of luck, you will see the problem and be able to solve it before it alarms those above.
Be prepared to apologize for your mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes, and you are no exception. If this does happen, be prepared to apologize. .
"I was wrong. It's my fault. I'll fix it. I made a mistake". These are all examples of wrong apologies.
In these cases, you make yourself the center. A much better option would be to shift the focus to the interlocutor, or rather to the one who suffered because of your mistake. Ask yourself the question: “Who am I talking to and what does this person want to hear from me?” By answering it, you will understand how to build your apology.
Earn Respect
For some reason, many people think that being a punching bag is the best way to please management. I hope you understand that this is not the case. This may work in some cases (if your boss had a tough childhood), but the best way to win the love of your boss is to earn real respect. This means working hard, avoiding office gossip and talking about nothing, and accepting adequate criticism. Being a nice person (first point) is also correct, but they are two fundamentally different approaches. If you do not give offense and respect yourself, then your superiors will do the same.
Master the art of looking busy
Sometimes, in order to be ahead, you need to apply a little trick. And in our case, that means becoming a master at the art of looking busy even when you're not. We're not talking about shirking work or lying. But you have to let your boss know that you are a busy person and constantly working on something.
Give helpful feedback
Again, if your boss is not a fiend, then he will only be happy with an honest one. But when asked about it, don't try to pour out all your complaints. Find out exactly what your boss needs. Don't conform to him and don't say what he wants to hear. If he needs to know how he's doing new project, do not try to talk about how his team spends too much time at lunch. You're not a snitch, are you?
Do the job 100%. Even if you hate your boss
Sometimes it doesn't matter how you do your job. A bad boss won't get any better. If you have such a situation, you are really sorry. In this case best advice will build up armor and not pay too much attention to tantrums, unjustified criticism and attacks from superiors.
And the most important thing! Don't let me get into your personal life. Don't take work home and don't take it out on the people around you. Instead, think about how you can improve your situation. Or maybe even her?
We all want to be valued and considered indispensable at work. But respect is not a given - it must be earned. No matter how long (or recently) you've been with your manager, what can you do to make your manager appreciate your input? What is the best way to earn his or her trust? And how do you earn respect if you feel like you lack it?
What the experts say
A recent HBR study of nearly 20,000 employees worldwide found that the most important thing employees want from leaders is respect. “If you don't feel respected, you won't put your heart and soul into your work,” says Linda Hill, a professor at Harvard Business School and co-author of It's Hard to Be the Boss. Successful Leadership Models. According to Michael Watkins, chairman of Genesis Advisers and professor at IMD, manager-manager respect comes in many forms. It starts with you being seen as "the person you should definitely keep on your team." Then you are thought of as an employee who deserves "interesting and challenging assignments" and finally as a subordinate whom the manager "wants to promote and develop because he is confident in his brilliant future." Wanting respect is one thing, getting it is quite another. Here are some possible strategies.
Be clear about your responsibilities
The first step in scoring your boss is, of course, doing your job and doing it well. To achieve this, you must be "clear about what your most important" assignments are and "how they fit into your boss's agenda," says Watkins. In the first days and weeks on new job he suggests asking your supervisor, "What do I need to learn and how can I do it the fastest?" Then you need to do everything in your power "to show that you are gaining momentum quickly," he says. “When people think of you as being easy to train, that can be a big plus for your credit.” Even if you've been in a position for a long time, you should regularly clarify your role and core responsibilities, Hill says. "Your goal is to stay on the same wavelength as your boss so you know where to focus your time and attention," she states.
Adjust
To become a valued and trusted employee, you need to “figure out the best way to connect with your boss,” says Watkins. “It is your responsibility to adjust your style to his.” Ask your manager what type of communication he prefers. What's better: Email, text messages or face-to-face meetings? How often does he want to communicate with you? Once a week? Once a day? Only as needed? Ask how much he wants to go into details. Does he want you to be primarily guided by analytics or intuition? If you and your boss don't match in style (you check your mailbox every hour and she doesn't open it for days), you should initiate "a frank conversation in which each side explains their behavior," says Hill. “Help your manager understand your point of view and the difficulties associated with changing style” - as far as your ability to work productively is concerned. “Discuss the situation and make a joint decision about what you will do about it,” she says.
Be observant and empathetic
To earn a boss's respect, "you need to understand what's important to them," Hill explains. She recommends paying serious attention to "your boss's priorities and concerns." And make them your priorities not out of obsequiousness, but by showing empathy. It's also important for you to remember that "your manager is looking for evidence that you can be trusted - that he can rely on you," says Hill. Try to figure out how to earn his trust "and create the conditions for your success" by making careful observations. Develop your understanding of “priorities, constraints, and domestic policy» of his organization, figuring out who the boss trusts, who he listens to, and where tensions arise. Your goal is not to get involved in undercover games, but to "understand the political moments."
Build relationships with other people
Dissent (politely and one on one)
“You don't earn respect by avoiding conflict with your boss,” Hill says. - The boss must be sure that you are behind him, "but at the same time, he needs to know when" the king is naked. For example, if you are convinced that your team will not be able to complete the project within the time frame suggested by the boss, tell him about it - in a personal conversation and politely. Do not bring this news to the manager in front of everyone - it may look like disloyalty. Hill advises treating your relationship as a partnership. "If you and I are partners, you will keep me from making a mistake." After all, "you have access to information other than the boss's" which makes your opinion and point of view highly valuable. “You need to be brave enough to bring your disagreement to your boss.”
Ask for feedback
No matter how great your results are, you can't force your boss to recognize your accomplishments. According to Watkins, some executives are simply not inclined to do this. "The recognition you get will be an exact product of the quality of your work and your boss's propensity to recognize accomplishments," he says. Still, even if your boss tends to be more reserved, there's a difference between "public recognition of your achievements" and "honest and frank feedback about how productive you are." You have to ask your boss, “How am I doing? What should I do more and what should I do less? Watkins argues that, in particular, new employees "often get less feedback at first because there is some reluctance" to criticize someone who is just "getting on their feet." “As a result, people can easily get on the wrong track.”
think about it
“It's not very pleasant when you are not respected,” says Hill. “If it seems to you that your rights are being infringed upon and your manager does not respect you as a person,” this is a problem that needs to be brought to the attention of the HR department. But don't jump to conclusions, she advises. It is possible that the boss argues with you and doubts not out of a lack of respect, but "because he does not fully understand what you have to deal with." In this case, she says, it's up to you to "educate your boss" and "teach him all the cards" about the peculiarities of your work and the difficulties associated with it. “Your boss can't read minds. Both of you are responsible for making your relationship work, Watkins concludes. “You should not start the situation so that it doesn’t get to the point where you are already banging your fist on the table and demanding respect.” But if you don't feel valued, he advises asking yourself why. “Ask yourself: am I doing a good enough job? Maybe I'm acting obsequious? Have I set the necessary boundaries? Everything starts with you."
Principles to Remember
What to do:
- Adjust your style of work and communication to the style of your manager.
- Lend a helping hand to your colleagues. The most useful question you can ask is "How can I help?".
- Build a partnership with your boss. You have a shared responsibility for making the relationship work.
What not to do:
- Don't be discouraged if your boss doesn't give you public recognition. Instead, ask for feedback using the question “What should I do more and what should I do less?”.
- Do not neglect the internal politics and culture of your organization; find out who the boss trusts, who he listens to, and where the main frictions happen.
- Don't avoid conflict with your boss. If you do not agree, say so - in a personal conversation and politely.
Case #1: Understand Your Boss' Priorities and Adjust to His Communication Style
When Whitney McCarthy started as communications manager at Rizepoint, a Salt Lake City-based compliance software company, she was determined to work hard and earn the respect of a boss we'll call Lucy.
Whitney's first priority was to be clear about what her duties were. On her first day on the job, Lucy gave Whitney a long list that explained the six main points of her job and the actions she needed to take immediately. “This note has been my guiding light and every month, with Lucy's help, I update it in the same six-point format,” says Whitney.
Lucy also held a meeting with Whitney and the rest of the team. “The goal was to discuss which area each of us is responsible for in order to avoid confusion about the budget and expected results,” she says.
Whitney's second priority became to quickly "get high" in priority areas—which included public relations, in which she had very little experience. Whitney had a lot to learn, and she wanted to show how quickly she grasps information. She subscribed to an online PR magazine, downloaded government acts on the topic, and carefully studied the PR strategies of other software companies.
“My goal was not to ask Lucy a lot of questions,” she says. - I demonstrated my new knowledge: I created a press release a few weeks after joining and presented it to the CEO ready plan in public relations in his first month."
Another point in Whitney's plan was to figure out how best to work with Lucy. She asked Lucy about her preferred communication style and what information she would like to know about Whitney's work. Whitney then tried to fit in with her boss. “Those details that Lucy didn’t want to delve into (like social media posts), I tried to make sure to include in the weekly productivity report so that she had a general idea of \u200b\u200bthe results of my work,” she says.
To find out what style of communication with Lucy is preferable, Whitney asked colleagues who have worked with the boss for a long time. "They gave me some useful tips- for example, this: if you come to her to discuss a problem, it is better to already have a proposal on hand to solve it.
Whitney is sure she has earned Lucy's respect. Three times the boss noted in a letter how pleasant she was to work together; Whitney always receives the maximum bonus (depending on Lucy's decision), and also won the "Most Valuable Player" title in her first quarter with the company.
Case #2: Show your boss they can rely on you and be open to feedback
Karen Schneider, a project manager in the alcohol industry, says she always earns her boss's respect by finding as many ways to be helpful as possible. "My job is to make life easier for my boss, first of all by doing a good job, of course, but also by relieving stress where possible."
At her last job, Karen's boss, Susan, held weekly face-to-face meetings with her subordinates. Karen always knew when Susan had some problems that Karen could help solve, that is, the leader was sure that she could always count on her. Very often, the boss's answer was yes. “And even if there were no assignments, I know that my willingness to help was highly appreciated,” she says. “Susan knew she could count on me, that I was eager to learn a lot.”
Karen also actively sought feedback from Susan. “For the first two or three weeks in a new place, I asked for it at the end of each week, and as time went on, we began to meet once a month,” she explains. “My success is in my hands, and I felt that Susan liked my enthusiasm and that she respected me even more for it.”
One day, Susan gave Karen constructive criticism about how the project was being managed. “It was done in a kind way that allowed me to see the potential to do a better job in the future,” she says.
Karen was grateful to Susan and tried to take her input into the next project. "It's important to take criticism as openly as praise, and that's how I think I've earned Susan's recognition."
Karen says that Susan often personally thanked her for her work on specific projects, and once even gave her a gift for a special Good work. "It's not like I'm being trumpeted throughout the organization, but the recognition of my accomplishments meant a lot to me," she says.
Rebecca Knight
Each of us wants all the people around us to love and understand us. At the same time, we ourselves sympathize and become attached only to some, but we simply treat the rest with respect.
According to explanatory dictionary, respect - a respectful attitude towards a person, based on the recognition of the merits, merits and personal qualities of a person. Theoretically, everyone has something to be respected for. But in the real world, not everyone succeeds in gaining respect. How to make everyone respect yourself?
You need to start only with yourself. If you don't respect yourself, why should others respect you? A person's low self-esteem and self-doubt are the most terrible enemies. Self-disrespect is expressed primarily in "sucking up" to other people in order to prove to them their importance and independence. If you are insulted, and you are silent, you do not respect yourself.
What can and should you be respected for?
Initially, determine in yourself what you can and should be respected for. Maybe it's your sharp and precise mind, or an unsurpassed sense of humor, or the ability to cook deliciously, or professional quality? Lots of options. Most importantly, you want to find them yourself. But still, if you have something to respect, do not overdo it. Self-confidence and self-confidence are very different things.
Well, you have found something to respect yourself for. Now learn to respect others. No one will respect you knowing that you do not respect him. Very often this problem occurs in people with leadership position- bosses, teachers, directors - to their subordinates, students. You can make someone afraid of you, but respect you - no. If you yell and intimidate, you will alienate people. But calmness and confidence - on the contrary.
Be sure to give people around you compliments, please and praise, noting their achievements.. It often happens that rejoicing in the achievements of others is more difficult than empathizing with their troubles. It will definitely be appreciated. You can also win respect with an open and friendly disposition. Always be friendly.
You can't let other people manipulate you and disrespect you. If they laugh at you, are rude - defend yourself, let's fight back the insolent. But do not fall to his level, i.e. do not answer rudeness with rudeness, shout with shout, etc. the main thing is self-confidence and inner peace. You need to politely, as if highlighting yourself against the background of the offender, tell him what does not suit you. And when in response, he wants to be nasty to you, it will look funny and even pathetic. Therefore, all eyewitnesses of this conflict start to respect you.
Respect must be earned by deeds. For example, no one will respect you right away at a new workplace. Everything will come with time - with experience and professionalism. You have to work hard, work hard. But it is worth understanding what your professional limit is today. Therefore, do not aim at unrealistic goals. Learn, read, but you should not demonstrate your knowledge against the background of ignorance of colleagues.
Someone wants to achieve respect, while wanting to please everyone and everyone. But it's impossible to be nice to everyone. Sooner or later, but people will understand that you are wearing a mask of duplicity, and you yourself understand how it will turn out. Express your opinion openly, but be polite when doing so. No need to scream and swear furiously and passionately, trying to prove your thoughts. If someone does not have the same point of view as you, this does not mean at all that it is wrong.
Make it easy to be respected. You just need to try a little. But here keep and increase respect is harder. And losing it is very easy and fast. Therefore, first think, and then act, calculating all the possible consequences of your actions.
Throughout his life, a person in one way or another interacts with society and builds relationships with people around him. In childhood, friendship, as a rule, is born on the basis of mutual interests and hobbies, however, growing up, we begin to evaluate the people around us by their actions, and they, in turn, evaluate us according to the same principle.
How to earn the respect of others? Every person wants to be respected, and will never knowingly commit acts that spoil his reputation. But, due to various complexes and internal uncertainty, it happens that a person does not know how to “feed” himself correctly, because of which people do not take his words and actions seriously. This creates a lot of difficulties, especially when it comes to relationships in the team. Psychologists working in the field of interpersonal relations have been able to identify several main factors that affect how we are perceived by the people around us.
Do you want to gain respect for yourself and increase your authority in the eyes of the team? Then you need to familiarize yourself with the main tips of the world's leading psychologists and try to immediately start using them in your life.
1. Take up as much free space as possible
An insecure person subconsciously wants to hide, hide and not interfere with others. In real life, this manifests itself in the habit of sitting on the edge of a chair or armchair, as well as staying close to the wall or front door. And even if the people around you do not know the methods of deep psychological analysis, on a subconscious level they perceive this habit as an inability to defend their positions. Therefore, when communicating with colleagues or superiors, psychologists recommend sitting on the entire surface of the chair, while keeping your back straight. If you are talking while standing, try to take a position in the center of the room, opposite the interlocutor.
2. Speak slowly but clearly
Many people, due to their emotionality, like to chatter, proving their point of view to the opponent. Most often, this habit appears in early childhood, when a child tries to attract the attention of busy parents by quickly telling them about exciting events. However, if you are worried about how to gain respect in a team, you need to learn how to convey your idea slowly and clearly, otherwise the interlocutor simply will not be able to fully assimilate your information. To avoid excessive emotionality in your conversation, psychologists recommend always paying attention to breathing. During a conversation, breathing should be even and calm.
3. Don't smile during serious conversations
A sincere smile and a good-natured look are perhaps the most important components for harmonious communication in an informal setting. However, if in this moment you inform subordinates about new tasks or try to convey an important idea to the interlocutor, conduct a dialogue without a smile, otherwise your opponents will not be able to appreciate the importance and seriousness of your speech. But, at the same time, in order to gain respect and good human relations, you do not need to constantly play the role of " snow queen". Finish your monologue with a good-natured smile and an unobtrusive joke that will relieve your interlocutors of unnecessary tension.
4. Help without getting emotional
Sooner or later, each person may find himself in a difficult situation when he simply needs third-party physical, moral or material assistance. As a rule, the desire to help is almost always accompanied by a great emotional message. Together, with help, we are trying to prove to the person why it happened one way or another, to open his eyes to his mistakes and tell about his own experience. But most often, when in trouble, a person needs only concrete help, whether it be monetary or moral support. Therefore, if you can help a person with a deed, help, but do it without unnecessary emotionality, which will bring negative colors to your good deed.
5. Less gestures - more calmness
How to make yourself respected - perhaps this question is most of all interested in leaders and people whose work is connected with public meetings and speeches. According to psychologists, excessive gestures and unnecessary body movements distract listeners from that main idea, which you are trying to convey, and, moreover, betray your doubts and insecurities. During interviews, presentations and reports, try to gesture as little as possible and be sure to get rid of the habit of fiddling with a ring or pen in your hands, straightening clothes and hair.
6. Watch your posture and hands
To gain the respect of others, it is enough to learn one simple psychological trick: never slouch or shrug your shoulders, because. on a subconscious level, this is regarded by others as a sign of weakness and insecurity. In addition, during a serious conversation, you do not need to cross your legs and arms, since these gestures are regarded as a desire to quickly end the conversation and hide.
7. React to the words of the interlocutor
Quite often, having lost the thread of the conversation with the interlocutor, we plunge into our own thoughts, listening to him with half an ear. However, this carelessness can be regarded by a colleague or boss as a sign of disrespect and neglect. Therefore, when conducting a dialogue, even if it turns into a monologue of your opponent, try from time to time to respond to his words with a nod or a smile. But at the same time, keep in mind that this reaction should be appropriate.
8. Maintain an area of personal space
Human psychology is designed in such a way that for a comfortable state of health, he must always be in the zone of personal space. The boundaries of this zone are determined by the degree of proximity of people. Naturally, if relatives or close people are nearby, this does not cause discomfort. However, if the zone of personal space is violated by unfamiliar people or colleagues, most likely, subconsciously this fact will cause anxiety and aggression in a person in relation to the violator. So if you care about gaining respect at work, don't get any closer than an arm's length to your co-workers and bosses.
9. Make eye contact
A person will not be able to believe the words of his interlocutor if at that moment he does not see his gaze. However, at the same time, the gaze is subconsciously regarded as a challenge or threat. It is best to alternate between direct eye contact and unobtrusive looking away during a conversation. However, at the moment of pronunciation of the most important informative points, try to keep the person in direct eye contact.
10. Be sincere
In addition, there is another rule, thanks to which you will surely achieve the location and respect of others. And that rule is sincerity. Try in any, even the most controversial situations express your true thoughts and intentions.
Irina Davydova
Reading time: 7 minutes
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New job - new life. And this means that you will have to gain authority in the team again. Employee respect doesn't come naturally. It is necessary to try so that the team accepts a newcomer - or, even more difficult, to recognize him as an unspoken leader.
- The first rule is to always look good. They meet, as they say by clothes, only see off according to the mind. Therefore, everything is important - hair, shoes, makeup. At work, you should pack as carefully as you would for a date. After all, everyone knows that it is more pleasant to work with neat and well-dressed people than with sloppy, dirty people.
- Try to be confident. Speak loudly and clearly. Don't mumble and don't chatter. Your speech should be calm and confident. And be sure to smile at people!
- Make eye contact when talking to new colleagues - this emphasizes your interest in communication and suggests that you are not shy in front of them. If you cannot do this, then look at the point between the eyebrows or on the bridge of the nose. And it will seem to the interlocutor that you are looking directly into the eyes.
- Try to remember names. Address immediately by name or patronymic name. After all, it has long been known that the most pleasant sounds for a person are the sounds of his name.
- Be friendly and sociable. Get involved in conversations, share your knowledge and opinion.
- Do not allow yourself to be rude and rude. Some people need to be cheeky towards other people in order to maintain a sense of confidence. it bad habit ruined the life of more than one person. If you have one, then fight it.
- Take up more space. An insecure person is betrayed by his modest location in space. He sits on the edge of the chair, trying not to disturb anyone, elbows pressed, legs crossed under the chair. Remember how you behave in a pleasant society. And try to take the same postures.
- Keep your posture, gesticulate less. If you are a leader, then this should be your first rule. After all, the boss should look like the boss - seriously, personably and boldly.
- Be sincere. Even if in order to make the right impression you need to embellish something, don't do it. This will give you a bad reputation.
- Don't promise what you can't deliver. Keep your word always and everywhere. Otherwise, you can pass for a trepach.
- In any workflow, there are times when your help may be needed. This is fine. But helping colleagues don't get too emotional . Such a total surrender for some people may look like sycophancy. And to others, it may seem that you consider them to be incompetent workers or just stupid people. After all, only small children who can’t do anything are so happily helped.
- Learn to tactfully refuse - so as not to offend a person. Indeed, due to the fact that it is inconvenient to say “no”, you may not have time to complete the task assigned to you. Politely apologize or offer to help after you've done what your boss has asked you to do. Read also:
- If you are a leader, it is very important to learn how to protect your subordinates and defend their interests. This does not mean that you will constantly indulge them. So what you think about them, create them Better conditions labor. Show your care from the first working day!
- Work in good faith. If a newcomer is a lazy person, then the whole team understands that the unfulfilled volumes will fall on their shoulders. And no one wants to be stressed out.
- Constantly learn, develop as a specialist, leader and just as a person . There is no limit to perfection, and your desire to grow will be appreciated.
- Explore in the early days - Look at the team. Who is friends with whom, what are the conversations about, what kind of people are here.
- There are gossips in every team. You should not join them, but you should not wage war with them either. Because either way you will lose. The best option- listen to the person and leave under a valid pretext. In no case and with anyone not to discuss the news heard. After all, the ideal means of combating gossip is complete ignorance.
- Participate in the collective life - it strengthens the team. If everyone is going to a restaurant, to the theater, to the cinema, go to the subbotnik with them.
- Don't try to please everyone - it's impossible . Be yourself. Because individuals with their own opinion and way of thinking are valued everywhere.
- Learn to rejoice in other people's successes. This emphasizes your kindness.
- Take criticism appropriately . It needs to be listened to, and if you do not agree to calmly express your opinion. But do not shout, do not get personal and do not be offended.
- Accept people for who they are . You should not impose your opinion, your own ways of solving problems and organizing working moments. Everyone decides for himself how to live and how to work.
- Decide right away who you are. And follow the instructions of superior people only. Since in almost any team there are lovers to command newcomers.
- Try not to show excitement - breathe deeply.
- Do not build yourself a bore - a know-it-all. The first days of simplicity will not hurt.
- Do not open up completely to your colleagues. And this rule applies not only to beginners. Not everyone needs to know what problems you have at home, what kind of relationship with your husband and children. Why take out dirty linen from the hut? There is a world in which there is no entrance to outsiders. Let colleagues know only about your marital status.
- Do not engage in idle chatter in the workplace. The sad fact is that instead of completing tasks, chatterboxes come to work just to chat. These employees are being fired as soon as possible. Neither bosses nor colleagues like them.
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