Practical psychology, or How to find a key to any person. 1000 tips for all occasions Vitaliy Klimchuk

How not to think about work at home, and not think about home at work?

Define your life-work style. Solve work problems in a timely manner. Solve household problems. Be open. How to equalize the balance? Manage attention.

It's very hard for me now.

What?! You don't even hear me.

Sorry, I got distracted.

Kolya, you've been distracted for a month now. What's happening? I don't want to think about something bad, but thoughts keep coming. You…

Olenka, dear, forgive me. I think about work all the time. There is such ... that I don’t even want to talk about it. I don't want to burden you.

Yeah. If you don’t want to load with work, you load with your mood. I didn't think about anything anymore. Let's do something about it, shall we?

Come on, just what? You won't solve my problems there at work, will you?

Of course not. But can you at least try to tell me? And there you will see.

You see... I'm ashamed... I did something stupid, and now I'm suffering. I'm afraid you'll think badly of me.

Listen, I've known you for so long and changed my mind about you so much - I definitely won't think worse.

Yes? Well then listen...

How difficult it is sometimes - to live life and work work. More often we work life and live work, or live to work, or work to live. In each of these cases, something can happen that we don’t really like - during work, we are tormented by thoughts and feelings about life beyond its borders, and after work, thoughts about it are piled up.

What to do with it?

Since you are reading this chapter, you either feel that it is somehow connected with your life, or there is someone nearby who would benefit from this chapter. Let's define your type of "life-work" so that you can then pay attention to those tips that concern you.

I live to work. In this case, you usually do not spend much time at home. Life outside of work is empty and meaningless. You do not understand how it is possible: not to do something, not to think about the success of the enterprise, not to worry about the quality of the goods. Perhaps at home you have only the bare necessities to survive: one spoon, one fork and a kettle. You get up early in the morning and come to work before everyone else. You leave later than everyone, and if you were allowed, then you would spend the night there.

Of course, you can be eerily interested in what you do. You are constantly in a "feeling of flow", do not notice what is happening around, do not follow the news, forget to eat or sleep.

And if you want to now, after reading these lines, say: “Well, what's wrong with that? I like it so much!”, then I will ask in response: “Why are you reading this chapter? Perhaps there is still something that is “wrong”?

I work to work. In this case, you have already crossed the line and still stay overnight at work. This is the next stage of "untreated" workaholism. The sphere of "life without work" tends to zero. If before you had a family, relationships, now they are gone. And you do not particularly regret, because you have a higher goal! Job!

"What are you running from?" - I'll ask you.

I work to live. In this case, there is work, it does not particularly cause negative feelings, but positive ones too. She is just a given of your life and even more dislike than like. You are moderately executive and not very proactive. You have, of course, ideas, but if you see that they will only lead to an increase in the volume of work, then you will not tell anyone about them. The main thing in your life happens outside of working hours. There - the most interesting, there - a special life, which employees do not even know about. And you work to have money for this most important part of your life.

Therefore, at work, you often think about that second life. And then the work becomes especially boring and uninteresting.

I live to live. This is also an extreme option, when at some point you suddenly realized that work interferes with your life, and stopped paying attention to it. You either abandoned it altogether, or you are on it like a zombie, an automaton. You are not particularly worried about finances - either someone gives them to you, or you have accumulated savings, or what you earn is enough.

Any of these ways of "life-work" are actually normal! It may be that these are stages in the development of our relationship with work and life. I definitely passed the stage "I live to work" and then work was everything; then came the stage "I work to live" and there was even a moment "I live to live". Now is a stage "I live and work". I enjoy both work and life. Working - I live, living - I work. And I like it.

Difficulties begin where there is congestion. If any of the ways of "life-work" becomes the only correct and only possible way. You seem to freeze in it and lose perspective. And then you notice how something goes wrong and in the wrong direction ... Let's look for a way!

Solve work problems in a timely manner. Remember, thinking about working at home, did you remember something pleasant or mentally solve problems? Most often, the tendency to crawl into someone else's sphere is characteristic of problems, troubles, complex and difficult events. And then the most logical way is to make sure that there are fewer of them. In this case, they will less distract our attention from the main thing.

Don't let the little things accumulate. Every petty problem that is not worth a glance in her direction can become the feather that broke the camel's back. They are like a snowball - after all, it consists of snowflakes. Each is small, light, and together they can knock down.

Starting today, make a list of the little things that bother you at work and torment you at home. Start with the little things that itch but don't hurt yet. Cleaning at the workplace, order in the documentation, ordering the customer base, etc.

Then - a larger list of problems: competitors, tax, legislation, etc.

Now start solving small problems. Precisely small, because they can be solved quickly. Their decision will give you a sense of success, increase faith in your strength, fill you with resources. And at some point you will realize that you are ready to solve more serious problems. Or you will realize that their decision has not yet matured, and you can put it on the shelf.

As for minor problems, you can start solving them with the easiest, or you can start with the most unpleasant. This is how you like it better: to approach unpleasant things gradually, preparing a foothold and accumulating resources, or in one fell swoop at the beginning of the working day, make this call to the most unpleasant client and then be free from thoughts about him all day.

Work on the principle of "failed, turn the page and move on." Don't let failure block your efforts.

Solve family and home problems. Just as negative work nuances creep into home, family life, so family troubles can creep into work, interfere with it and reduce efficiency.

What's wrong at home? What hurts? What's not to like?

Try to figure it out. Sometimes problems in the family also accumulate - a little fatigue, a little quarrel, a bit of misunderstanding, a spoonful of mistrust, a piece of resentment, a handful of anger. You look - and from the "droplets" and "a little bit" a huge lump has grown. Unravel! Better together. Be prepared for failure. It will not be shameful to ask for help if you cannot cope on your own - family psychologists are trained in a mass of techniques to help find mutual language and reach an understanding. Provided, of course, that you are willing to use them.

Sometimes relationships crack because of simple everyday things. These are small things, but for someone they can be the most important thing. For you, an open toilet lid is a trifle, well, forgot what's wrong with that? But for your wife, this is a sign of your disrespect for her! And here you can argue for a long time whether this is so or not in reality - it does not matter! Important - the toilet affects your relationship. Do you really want the toilet to rule your life? Or just close the lid?

A toilet lid, uncleaned shoes, a dripping faucet, a creaking door - look around you, put your book aside and pick up a screwdriver, wrench or rubber gasket.

If it doesn't work out, don't worry. Important - you tried and gave a sign to your partner that you are ready to meet halfway, that you respect his perception of the world.

Be open. Do you know why at home you think so much about work? Because don't talk about her. Thoughts and feelings are beating inside you like moths in a jar, and can not break free. You hold them by force and spend your life energy on this, instead of directing it to a really worthwhile cause - to open up to another person whom you trust and who, if not help, will listen and support.

You know the bonus of talking about problems? Having told, you can look at them as if from the outside. After all, the big is seen from a distance. While you are silent - you are inside the problem or the problem is inside you. After telling, you can go outside or take it out. Consider. Divide into parts. Collect again.

And if there is a listener and a viewer nearby, this can only help. There is such an effect - social facilitation. Scientists have noticed that if you do the work in front of someone important, then its result can increase. There is, of course, the opposite effect - social inhibition. In this case, the result drops, because there is a fear of “losing face”, “dropping self-esteem”, etc.

Your loved one will not evaluate you. He once already appreciated and decided to be with you together. Should I be more afraid?

Fear of bad attitude, low evaluation does not give the opportunity to talk at home about the problem. What else? All clear.

Unwillingness to "load", pseudo-protection. You seem to be shielding your family from what's going on at work. There may actually be something traumatic, shocking and scary. And maybe, really, you should not tell everything, but in general, you can do it. Not detailing?

And one more thing: why are you sure that your partner will not survive? How do you know? Or are you protecting yourself?

Underestimation of a partner also contributes to the unsaid. You don't know how strong he really is and how important it is for him to know. Because this is the only way he can feel trust from you.

Sometimes we do not say something in order to be able to reproach later: “What do you really know?! You know nothing!" Well, yes, he doesn’t know, but how would he know if you didn’t tell. So who should be angry?

A real man must endure and be silent. One of the stereotypes like: "Men don't cry." I will say that just real men cry, because they are not afraid of tears. And those who have fear inside do not cry: “What if I don’t a real man? You must not be patient and silent. Allow yourself to tell, and then you will not have to endure. The one who is next to you is not just a decoration in the house. He can help, just ask for it...

The consequences of "not talking" about work problems are as follows: they accumulate and are not resolved; a person close to you moves away because he does not know about the reasons for your bad mood; you yourself are moving away from a loved one, because you began to build a wall of silence: you laid a brick, and he is a brick; unfounded fantasies and distrust appear - after all, you need to somehow explain your behavior. As a result of all of the above, there are even more problems!

Break this vicious circle!

We balance the balance. Balance in life is something that allows you to keep balance and not fall. It needs to be supported all the time. Like on a bicycle - as long as you ride, everything is OK. Just stopped - you can immediately fall if you don’t substitute your foot in time.

Look for where the balance is off. General rule- add where there is little, and then what is too much will become less.

If you bring a lot of work home, try not to bring less work, but to add more home to your life. Plan a family dinner, a trip to the theater, a weekend in tents on the river bank. Give yourself the opportunity to feel how great it is to be at home here and now. Because sometimes the feeling of “I am at home” is forgotten, disappears. And then it should be brought to life by effort.

If you carry a lot of homework to work, think about whether it is possible to fill work time something useful? It so happens that there is time to play cards on the computer, and gossip, and smoke for twenty minutes for ten times. Try to do something extra: make a plan for tomorrow, re-read a useful document, finish something forgotten.

The balance can also be leveled over time. In one period of life you do something more, in the next - less. It is important that this be conscious and there is an understanding of what you are doing now and how long it will last. And one more thing: what will you do if you can’t immediately return to normal mode.

Indeed, there are moments in life that are beyond our control. Well, just need some time to spend the night at work. And think about her at home, dream about her. Then it is worth determining for yourself: when it will end and what you will do next. You can get used to it.

Bring work-life balance into your life. Track your condition and give yourself a rest if you are tired, and add work if you rested. A the best option- plan the rest and monitor the implementation of this plan.

In itself, planning a vacation can be an exciting experience, especially if you involve loved ones - a wife or husband, a child, parents. Choosing a purpose of travel, a method, making a list of what is necessary, finding out what is and what is missing, finding what is missing, laying out routes, collecting things - this is a whole separate process, involving and addictive. Let it not be something grandiose to begin with, you can start with a one-day hike or a two-day trip to the castles of the country. Don't take it right away big projects, because you can ignore something and be disappointed. For example, forget mosquito repellent or toilet paper...

But having already practiced on small recreation projects, you can try something more. If you want. And if you don't want to, you don't have to try. As you wish. Listen to yourself.

Balance communication and loneliness. You can get used to the imbalance and be sure that everything is fine. And you can taste something new. Not all dishes can be tasted at once. Sometimes it is better to do several approaches.

Is there too much communication? Try reducing it a bit. No, do not go into the desert as a recluse, just evaluate your communication: do you need so much of it? Isn't it tiring? Does it take time away from other important areas of your life (work, family, friends, etc.)?

Or maybe you've been single for too long? Then let's slowly get out of the shell. Go out to people. Make acquaintances first, and there, you see, there will be friends among them.

Manage your attention. Our attention is of three types: involuntary, voluntary and "after-voluntary". Involuntary attention works when something unusual, unusual happens nearby. A sharp noise, an unusual smell, a bright light - and our attention is already focused on it. Arbitrary turns on when we direct it with our own efforts to something necessary, important, desirable. “Post-voluntary” attention occurs when something is of great interest and we are so captured by it that we do not even think about the efforts to concentrate this attention on something.

Why am I leading this? To several conclusions: what distracts us at home from the house itself includes involuntary attention. But involuntary attention can be controlled by making it arbitrary. With voluntary attention, the frontal cortex of the brain is activated, which is responsible for the conscious regulation of behavior. It follows from this: attention can be learned to control consciously. You can learn to switch your brain from one object to another.

Mindfulness therapy techniques are ideal for this. The essence of the techniques that I will offer here is to learn to treat thoughts as thoughts and shift the focus of attention from thoughts that interfere with this moment feel good, for more valuable things. Let me clarify: the task of not stopping thinking at all is impossible. The task is to bring a little more control over the processes of thinking into life. The fact is that we cannot “not think” about something, the brain needs to think all the time. But we can consciously direct our attention to something else and think about that. Moreover, the ability to do this quickly and on demand can be developed. Let's start with two techniques.

Let's call the first technique "Raisin". So, take the washed raisins in clean hands. (This is important because you will be touching it with your fingers and eating it.) Place it in your palm and hold it up to your eyes to see. Look at her carefully for a while. Pay attention to all visual features: uneven color, reflections of light, shape, etc. Imagine that you do not know what it is. As if you are seeing this object for the first time. Then notice how the raisins feel in your palm. Squeeze it between your fingers and pay attention to the sensations that arise. Take another look at the raisins and slowly bring them to your mouth. Don't eat it yet! Simply inhale the scent a few times, paying full attention to it. Touch the raisin to your lips and be aware of how they feel. Then slowly place the raisins on your tongue. Let it just lie there, and you completely focus on the appearance of taste. Roll it over the surface of your tongue. Notice how the taste sensations change. Then clamp it with your teeth and slowly, with awareness of the whole process, bite it. And concentrate as much as possible on the taste explosion in your mouth. Chew slowly, swallow slowly - all with a focus on taste and process. And when you swallow, follow the disappearance of the aftertaste.

Did you notice that while everyone was doing this, not a single thought about work came to you? Practice this technique at least twice a day. And not necessarily with raisins - it can be anything that tastes good. Advanced users might try something nasty. Experiment with food, drinks - whatever you like. After a week of practice, move on to the next technique.

The second technique is called Breathing. Raisins may not always be at hand, in addition, they are tasty in themselves and attract attention. The following technique will allow you to learn to refocus attention on your own breath, which is always with us. Body position - sitting, comfortable, at the same time, the back is straight, so as not to fall asleep during the exercise. It is very simple. Pay attention to your breath. All attention is on how you inhale and exhale. Keep it in focus for as long as you can. At some point, you will catch yourself thinking that your thoughts have already flown far, far away. This is normal, because the essence of the exercise is not not to fly away, but to return. Catching yourself on extraneous thoughts, say: "These are thoughts, and I concentrate on breathing." Again, focus on your breath. It is very likely that the first time you will only fly away in your thoughts. This technique is important because it is at the moment you bring yourself back to the breath that your cerebral cortex is activated and learns to direct your attention.

Practice twice a week for 5-10 minutes.

And after a week of practice, you will see how easily, crossing the threshold of the house, you will say to yourself: “I am at home. And I’ll think about work tomorrow at work.”

Wow! Well you're a cool dude! How did you do it? - The chief looked admiringly at Kolya.

And not only the boss, all the employees gathered around and looked at Colin the model. And he looked around and did not believe his eyes and ears. Is he being praised? After what he did? They should have kicked him out, but they...

Admit it, how did you do it? You spent a month tinkering with this project, you took money for it from the general cash desk, no one believed that you would succeed. I would definitely give up! - honestly admitted the director.

So, say! Maybe he spied on competitors? Bribed who? - It was Sanyok, the trainee.

I didn't bribe anyone! My wife is just smart.

Well, tell me! It's interesting!

Yes, I suffered for a month, they themselves saw me. I thought and thought, I thought at home, I thought at work. I forgot about the children, about the wife. I came, ate, slept, and all my thoughts are here, in this model. And she made me tell her everything. And about the money from the cash register. Once I started talking, I couldn't stop. And he told - and how he cut off. I completely forgot about everything, went to play with the children, watched a movie. And so I go to sleep, go to bed, and suddenly - bam! The whole picture is at a glance. Everything is drawn, I see everything clearly. I did in a day what I could not unwind for a month before.

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How not to think about the bad and not wind yourself up if negative thoughts overcome you every day. Controlling your thinking, forcing yourself to think positively is not an easy process, which consists in the daily practice of mastering the skill of changing your mind and consciousness. Undoubtedly, this requires discipline of the mind, but having worked on your thinking, it is really possible to achieve what you want. Often the question arises before an individual, how to learn to live without thinking about the bad? Psychologists offer to think about this for a minute and realize that far-fetched experiences, even justified and clearly argued, do great harm. It is possible that a negative event will never happen, and a person exhausts himself with negative thinking in vain and cannot calm down, without ceasing to think about the bad. So what's the point in torturing yourself with bad thoughts?

How to learn not to think about the bad?

Any (negative or positive) consciously launched thought, repeated for a certain time a sufficient number of times, can turn into a program. Understanding this, a person can force himself not to think about the bad. Because, for example, if for many years a person has been scrolling the idea that he will always live in poverty, then in this way he creates a program in himself, for the implementation of which he does not even need to think. Each person is able to build his future consciously only by the course of his thinking. By working on positive thoughts and forming new patterns in oneself, a person can develop a subconscious program for success. Realizing this, each person is able to help himself, and thus learn not to think about the bad.

And in order to accomplish this faster, for this a person should imagine that at the moment of his reflections he spreads vibrations of the finest ethereal substance around him. The human eye is not able to see thoughts in the same way as gas. Thought is a refined configuration of matter. Thoughts with a negative orientation would become dark in color and look like thunderclouds. Happy, clear, positive thoughts would take on bright colors and would be close to light, gaseous clouds. When an individual spreads bad thoughts around, he becomes an object for their influence. Annoying or fearful thoughts attract such thoughts to themselves, uniting with them into a powerful conglomerate. As a result, a negatively minded person will suffer not only because of his own bad thoughts, but because of the negative thoughts of others, which will only aggravate the condition.

The longer an individual thinks in this way, the harder it will be for him to internal state and position. The person who is in positive attitude and he who has happy thoughts will attract to himself a similar direction of thought and will feel more happy and joyful.

And yet, how else to convince yourself not to think about the bad, if negative thoughts constantly climb into your head. An internal dialogue will help to get rid of interfering thoughts, in which the person must ask himself, what exactly is he afraid of? Often associated with loss of a career, illness or accident. Most fears are not related to the real state of affairs. What is the point of being afraid of losing your career right now if you are a highly qualified specialist. Why be afraid of illness if you are healthy? And why should an accident happen to you if you are characterized by caution and attentiveness?

Of course, there is a percentage of unpredictability, and no one can guarantee that it will always be good. But is it worth spending your life to live in constant fear, worries and. As the saying goes, what to be - that cannot be avoided, and most of the problems contrived by a person are solvable, and what is not possible to solve must be let go and not worry about it.

Below are practical and effective tips on how not to think about the bad, but think about the good:

- a person should always think about the present. Pessimistic thoughts are often linked to the past or the future. People often think about missed opportunities and what would have happened if they had done this, and not otherwise. Returning constantly to the past makes a person unhappy and indecisive. And the thoughts about the future and the fears associated with it make a person worry. One should live in the present, think for today, not thinking ahead and not regretting the past;

- you can’t keep everything in yourself, since internal unrest inevitably leads to poor health, so you should share your experiences with loved ones without locking yourself in;

- no need to accept negative information coming from outside world close to heart. Of course, stories about the problems of friends will make you worry about them, but you should not take other people's problems to heart, let alone let them into your own soul. Anxiety will not help friends, but they can easily spoil the mood;

- you should develop self-confidence and find in yourself something in which the personality is unique, inimitable and irreplaceable. It is important to feel your importance and bad thoughts will go away by themselves;

- you need to learn to look for positive moments in any negative situation and thus change your attitude towards it, for example, to perceive parting with a loved one as something necessary, since it was further off the path with a partner and be sure to voice for yourself the reasons why you broke up. Realizing your choice, you should come to terms with it, because a person has the opportunity to meet a more worthy partner in the future;

- it is important to analyze your thoughts, why they come. It often happens that bad thoughts come out of habit, regardless of whether there is a problem or has long been resolved;

- it has been established that bad thoughts visit a person during the period of doing nothing, and if the person is not busy with something necessary and important, then various phobias begin to creep into the head;

- volunteering helps to distract from bad thoughts. A lot of people need help and at the same time do not lose interest in life and fortitude. Orphans and the disabled, lonely elderly people - in life they all have difficult problems, but somehow they cope with them, without ceasing to enjoy simple things in life. Helping a neighbor, a person can feel the joy that he has done something useful;

- you should set yourself a goal, having thought over what you most want to achieve in life and act in this direction in small steps;

- Listening to your favorite music helps you relax and unwind. Listening to what makes a person inspire will help to avoid sore and distract from bad thoughts;

- instead of thinking about how to relax and not think about the bad, you should rejoice in the little things and be grateful to fate for every day you live. After all, a person's life consists of little things, so it is important to learn to see them and enjoy every little thing;

- physical activity will allow each person not to think about the bad, so simple physical exercises, jogging in the morning, walking should not be underestimated. Working on your body will definitely allow you to put your thoughts in order;

- a person should notice the good, not the bad, for example, do not focus on his fatigue, but fix his attention on what has been achieved during the day and then the day will be remembered as successful;

- meetings with old friends and new acquaintances, communication will also allow you to escape from bad thoughts;

- Trying to avoid pessimistic people, you can focus on pleasant events and thoughts. Often, depressed people are dragged along by their negative thinking, so it would be best to avoid contact with such people. But bright and positive personalities will allow you to calm down and not think about the bad.

- the main thing to remember is that everything in this life passes and life is not endless, so maybe you shouldn’t torment yourself with thoughts, how not to think about the bad, and direct your thinking in a positive direction.

Psychologists explain the emergence of negative thoughts in a person's life as a manifestation. Bad thoughts are absolutely normal and natural, so you should just wait out the unpleasant life moments and not dwell on them.

It would seem that there is nothing easier. The working day is over, you briskly pack your things and, finally, go home to rest and gain strength after a busy eight hours of work. You're having dinner with your family, going to the gym, or planning to watch a movie... But what if there's an unfinished report in the office? Or a few unread emails?

Are you really able to do what you want to do in this case? Or are you just pretending to take a break, when in fact you are constantly scrolling through your head all the upcoming tasks at work, planning tomorrow's tasks, or worrying about missed deadlines?

As a rule, in this case, we are well aware that constant thoughts about work will not help current affairs in any way, because at the moment we are at home, and all reports, letters and other tasks have remained there, in a closed office. But even if you value your free time enough not to take work home, these thoughts alone can ruin not only any particular evening, but your entire career. As it turned out, the ability to efficiently plan your working day is worth nothing, if at the same time you do not know how to abstract from office affairs in your legal (!) Free time.

What's happening

You can get your legs to carry you out of the office at the end of the day, but it can be much more difficult to “negotiate” with your brain. As a result, you rightly begin to feel that you are thinking about work 24 hours a day and seven days a week, however, despite the uninterrupted thought process (many people dream about their work even at night, and this is also not the best best sign), productivity and efficiency only decreases. Why?

you lose focus

In 2011, experts from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign empirically proved the harm of continuous concentration on the same task. The participants in the experiment, conducted by scientists, were divided into several groups, and each was asked to focus on a monotonous computer task lasting 50 minutes. Before this, the subjects were asked to memorize a few numbers and name them as soon as they were asked.

The first team worked without breaks for 50 minutes, while the second team was given the opportunity to take two breaks. It was during this free time that they were asked about the numbers, after which the participants of the experiment again returned to the problem. As a result, the psychologists noticed that while the performance of the first group dropped significantly towards the end of the task, the performance of the second group, which was twice distracted by a completely unrelated topic, did not change at all. So, once again, scientists managed to prove that “switching” is actually useful.

You lose creativity

Meanwhile, their colleagues from the University of British Columbia (Canada) even said: to improve your efficiency at work, you need to think about everything except office matters. As it turned out, it is enough to give your thoughts freedom and allow yourself “not to think about anything” in order to activate several parts of the brain at once and, in the end, unconsciously come to original solutions. “We used to think that wandering in the clouds is a synonym for laziness,” commented its author, Professor Kalina Kristoff, commenting on the results of the study. “However, data shows that our brains work more actively when we allow ourselves to think about seemingly unimportant things.”

you burn out

What to do

A few useful hacks on how to "deceive" the mind and free it from thoughts about work, which will be especially useful for those who work on reports even while driving home and check mail, waking up frantically in the middle of the night.

Make a plan for the week

Schedule each of your working days with the obligatory consideration of all your legal breaks, clearly calculating the time that you will need to complete a particular task ( read also: "How making a to-do list pumps your brain (even if you don't complete the tasks themselves)"). The key to success is to start from your own speed of work and only then set the norm for the number of tasks (you may have to discuss this issue with your superiors).

The road home is not working time

It will not be possible to reshape a dangerous behavioral pattern if the time is public transport or in the car to perceive as an organic part of the working day. Exactly from the moment you leave the office, a period begins that you can (and sometimes even have to force yourself to) devote exclusively to your desires. If there is nothing to do, and books, music and the Internet do not please, then it is better to simply do nothing and go in your own thoughts (remember the benefits of “walking in the clouds”).

Come up with a pleasant ritual

And do it every time you come home. It is important to establish positive associations with your own home. Hang out with your family (but not a word about work!), take your dog for a walk, take a bath, or turn on your favorite TV show—if you don’t have the incentive to go home, create an artificial one and convince yourself that its value is many times higher than the unfinished business at work, which may well wait until the morning.

Let's make promises

Another incentive to postpone things until tomorrow and switch to a new task. Do not upset the child if you promised to take him for a walk in the evening. Don't let your friends down if you've arranged to meet at a bar. A session with a trainer, a lesson with a tutor, or an appointment in a salon are also promises that need to be kept and for which you (whether you like it or not) will simply have to leave work.

unplug

If you're brave enough, turn off all your devices and warn co-workers that you don't intend to reply to their messages outside of business hours. Leave your phone in another room while you sleep, or put it on "night mode" so you don't wake up with every incoming message. You will be surprised, but when you wake up in the morning, nothing catastrophic will happen to your work.

Let's be clear right now. If you're one of those lucky people doing what you love, you don't need these recommendations. Think about your work whenever and wherever you want. The main thing is to avoid overeating. After all, even the most beloved thing can get boring if you do not pause to recharge the batteries or let off steam.

Men are unlikely to be interested in these tips. As the saying goes folk wisdom, men at work think about women, and with women about work. Of course, this is a joke, and everyone needs to turn off such thoughts. After all, when we spend our energy on thinking about work in our free time, we have less energy left for the actual work. Thus, a vicious circle is formed. There is no strength for anything, including work. The question is how to switch profitably.

So, if you feel that it is vital for you to free your brain from thoughts about work matters, use our recommendations.

1. Sign up for courses foreign language, floristry, landscape design. Any intellectual or creative activity will allow you to focus on business and stop the flow of thoughts about work. No wonder smart people say that the best rest is a change of activity.

2. Go to the gym, workout, swim, ride a bike, work in the country:. Give yourself such a physical load that your only thought is how to twist, walk, sit down and stand up ... Inhale - exhale, inhale - exhale, one, two, three ... Work? What job?

3. Schedule your evenings and organize meetings with friends (but first swear that not a word about work will be said), trips to theaters, movies, concerts, romantic evenings with your loved one. Even if in the evening there is no strength, it would seem, for nothing but TV, make an effort - and you will be grateful to yourself. A second wind will open, and communication will help get rid of obsessive thoughts about business, calls, letters. Communicate with nature: walk in the forest, listen to the birds, contemplate this beautiful picture. At some point, you will feel that the head has disconnected from the bustle of work, and the body has been filled with energy.

4. If you have children, give your free time to them, not to the computer. Children already know exactly what to do with your head while you are with them. Organize children's holiday for your children and their friends. Believe me, if twenty kids are running around you, you will not have time to think about work - a lot of trouble.

5. Expand your network of contacts, make acquaintances at various events. We can often meet people with a completely different philosophy of life, not like ours, different from our dreams, deeds, happiness. Such communication helps to discover new qualities and new motivation for work. Who knows - maybe soon something will change in your outlook, and work will become not something you get tired of, but something you cannot live without.

7 chose

Some people, even being on a fabulous sea coast, stubbornly scroll thoughts about work in their heads: they think about latest project, calculate losses, bitterly recall unsuccessful negotiations. And then secretly look into the work mail. This is especially true for men: they are ambitious and it is more difficult for them to switch to vacation mode. But first of all, our head needs rest. And if we think about work during the whole vacation, there will be no sense from it. Let's figure out how to get rid of such obsessive thoughts on vacation.

All year long we dream of a vacation, and in it we cannot stop thinking about work. Why is this happening? The reasons may be different. Someone is afraid that without him the company will not cope. Or vice versa, he cannot even admit the thought that his colleagues will do without him, because then he will lose the feeling of his own indispensability. For creative people work is often their main passion, and they are not going to refuse it even for two weeks. Unfinished business or unresolved problems do not allow someone to sleep peacefully on the beach. And for someone - persistent colleagues who call for any reason. In any case, if during your vacation you dream about your home office every night, then you need to change something.

Get ready

First of all, you need to prepare for the holidays. Finish important things, transfer other tasks, assign responsibilities, appoint responsible people, promise a terrible punishment to everyone who decides to call you, break a laptop and a mobile phone.

In general, you should not plan a vacation during the period of active activity of the company, when work begins new project, important contracts are concluded or tax reports are submitted. The boss won't thank you for this. And you, instead of enjoying the rest, will constantly return your thoughts to work.

Learn new things

New information inevitably crowds out intrusive thoughts. This is one of the reasons why women on vacation like to go on excursions. While we are thinking about the features of the Venetian baroque, thoughts about the harmful boss Vasily Petrovich somehow fade into the background.

It's not just about excursions. The more new impressions and new interesting information we receive, the less chance Vasily Petrovich has to settle in our head. Therefore, you should try to make your vacation as rich and interesting as possible.

Set sports records

Men have their own methods. Sports, especially extreme sports, often help them forget about work. Perhaps for this reason, among young workaholics today there are so many "adrenaline junkies" It is unlikely that thoughts about work visit them during a paragliding flight or extreme descent from the mountain. And during a difficult trip, you can even forget the name of your company and the name of your boss. And, of course, all work problems during this period seem distant and insignificant. Verified by myself.

Find a new hobby

In general, any activity that is not related to your work will help to distract. Get creative, try your hand at drawing, music or dancing. No wonder they say that the best vacation is a change of occupation. New activities will help you switch and relieve emotional stress.

fall in love

This is sure to instantly knock all thoughts about work out of my head. Love or even fleeting love generally knocks almost any thought out of your head. And if you already have a loved one, try to fall in love with him again. It improves mood, improves well-being and makes us happier.